When I used to hear ‘twenty twenty’ my initial thoughts would have either been about the goal of perfect vision or the ABC long-running TV program 20/20. Now, I’ll forever be thinking about this pandemic year and all the accessories that came with it – masks, gloves, hand sanitizer, disinfecting wipes, and the lifestyle habits that drastically changed overnight due to flattening the curve, social distancing and quarantining.
I recognize the irony in 2020 vision getting clearer. I value my health and safety more than ever. I am even more grateful for my 3 f’s: faith, family, and friends. And, I can appreciate that 2020 made me realize the beauty in small blessings – a hug, the change of seasons, the coziness of my home, and in-person gatherings.
Life will always be messy. Years have lots of ups and downs. While I didn’t hesitate to flip the calendar page to a new year, I stand by that 2020 wasn’t all bad and that there are some things worth reflecting on and celebrating.
Below is a list of what worked in 2020. I also call this a ‘Ta Da List’. I’ve reflected on what happened and what went well…and what didn’t work, so well.
This will be my fifth year sharing the highlights and happenings for the year. Writing these out help me digest the learnings and inform the year ahead. If you are curious about the other four years, you can check out the reflections for 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019.
Getting Creative
My son Jacob graduated high school in the Spring of 2020. We also celebrated my husband’s 50th, my sister’s 60th, and my daughter’s 21st. None of these events went as originally imagined. When life gives you lemons you make lemonade. So, we got creative and found new ways to celebrate their milestones. Each of these modified events were memorable.
New Partnerships
In February of 2020, I celebrated my five-year blogiversary! During a year when my day job was surprisingly unstable (I was furloughed in April and May but at the time didn’t know if I’d be going back), my blog provided me comfort and some control of my own career destiny. I added a few new partners during this time including Ruby Slipper Car Seat Cover, LifeStation, HandsFree Health, and Hank. I’m grateful for this mission-driven side hustle that provided me sanity and an extra source of income during a difficult year.
A few organizations reached out to buy copies in bulk of Just for You: a Daily Self-Care Journal to include in Self-Care boxes. What a pleasant surprise!
Giving Back
At the end of last year, I started setting aside a small percentage of my Happy Healthy Caregiver income for a ‘Caregiver Respite Fund’. This year I was able to use some of this money to make donations to a few caregiving organizations including No Barriers Caregivers. This organization provides amazing caregiver respite retreats like the one I experienced in Moab, Utah this past summer. I met some amazing caregivers who will be forever friends.
While I was furloughed from my job, I was able to handmake 25 cards for older adults living in a senior living community who were isolated from the outside world. If you are interested, you or your organization can still participate through Second Wind Dreams Cards of Light program.
Virtual & Socially Distant Gatherings and Marco Polo
Our ‘Sister Weekend’ group has had our Marco Polo video chats going for a couple years, but with so much social distancing this year, Marco Polo groups were added for my neighborhood book club and my small workout group. The Marco Polo app is great because you can share video chats and listen to everyone else’s recordings when it’s convenient for you.
Zoom happy hours and socially distant gatherings in the neighborhood soccer field or around a campfire were also sanity savers.
While many business events got canceled or rescheduled for 2021, there were a few virtual events I was able to participate in, including:
-
- Torchlight (topic: Preparing for a Caregiving Crisis at Work)
- No Barriers Virtual Summit (topic: Elevate Your Self Care in the Next Six Months)
- Nourish for Caregivers webinar (topic: Family Dynamics: The Do’s and Don’ts of Sharing the Care)
- Leeza’s Care Connection (topic: Finding Joy in the Holidays)
This year I needed my monthly family caregiver support group’s help. Mom continued to slow decline and there were there for me at the end. Having an outlet that 100% understands the ups and downs of caregiving saves my sanity. The NW Atlanta Daughterhood Circle had 11 meetups in our 4th year – some were virtual, socially distant, and in-person. Check out Daughterhood to see if there is a support group that meets near you (or start your own!).
Reading Provided a Necessary Escape
I had an item on my ’20 for 2020′ list to read a book with a title starting with each letter of the alphabet. I had a lot of fun combing through my to-be-read list looking for audio or physical books that allowed me to cross a letter off my list.
Once the pandemic kicked in, I had to figure out new ‘reading’ routines, particularly for my audiobooks. I used to listen to audiobooks to and from work and while running errands but now I was working remotely and barely leaving the house. What worked was either listening to books while I was getting ready in the mornings or solo walking in my neighborhood.
Here are my favorite fiction and non-fiction reads from 2020!
Favorite Fiction Books Read in 2020
Favorite Non-Fiction Books Read in 2020
Embracing Being a Home Body
Being home agrees with me. My kids tease that I was ‘made for quarantine’. While there were certainly many times I got stir crazy, I liked having coffee at my house, eating lunches with my husband, snuggling with the dogs (now we have 2 since we added Sunny, our mini golden doodle this past fall), and playing games with the family. Luckily we had started our screened-in porch project at the start of the year when wood and such was easier to find. My only regret with the screened-in porch is that we didn’t build it years ago. We’ve already used our porch way more this year than we have in the twenty years combined.
Between mid-March and when kids went off to college in the fall, we had lots of extra family time. We played lots of board games! Favorites included: Clue, Scrabble, Pounce (aka multiple solitaire), Farkle and Quiddler. We also entertained ourselves with Pop-Tart, Pringle, and Jelly Belly March Madness-style bracket challenges.
Jason also introduced us and several of our neighbor families to Pickleball. So fun to get outdoors when the weather is nice!F
Jason and I are officially empty nesters. Our youngest started his freshman year at University of Georgia and our daughter is in her junior year at University of Alabama. Empty nesting is odd but not bad. Cooking is way less involved with fewer people weighing in with opinions. Jason and I tried Hello Fresh meal delivery for a few weeks which was a nice change of pace and we believe we have saved money and wasted a lot less food.
The house was also looking very tidy (until Sunny came!). This year I have purged a ton and organized many closets. It feels good to let go of the stuff!
When the kids are at school this is what our nest looks like now:
Sleep Became a Priority
For most of my working years I have been up and out of the house before anyone else was awake. I worked out in the morning before work and showered at the gym. This morning routine was necessary so I could miss the traffic and get my workout in before the day really started. Since last March, I haven’t been into my office. This meant no pressure of Atlanta traffic. A true gift was for me to wake up when my body wanted to get up. Years of waking up at 5 or 5:30 has me still an early rise but no longer that early.
Finding Peace with Mom’s Passing
Mom passed away on September 2nd this year. Nothing related to Covid, it was just her time. I like to say mom took the scenic route to heaven. I’ve been thinking for several years that every time I saw my mom was going to be the last time. Her chronic health conditions robbed all her quality of life, particularly in the past couple years. In the fall of 2018, she became 100% bedridden due and started hospice. This past year her eyesight really suffered to the point where she couldn’t read books, play games, or watch television. She started sleeping the majority of the day and we really witnessed the cognitive decline. It was a long goodbye for us, particularly my sister Susie who cared for mom full time for over four years. I shared more about mom’s end of life in my solo podcast episode Grief & Resilience. Losing a parent sucks.
Due to the Covid-19 pandemic we couldn’t have the in-person memorial we wanted, we gave her Zoom memorial everything we had and it turned out beautiful.
What has worked in this emotional situation is that I find comfort in knowing my mom is no longer struggling and resting in peace with my dad. I also am grateful that my sister can embrace a new kind of freedom. My parents will always be missed. I’ve been making a conscious effort to talk out loud about my parents when I think of them. I want others to think of them and reflect on the memories. It’s what keeps their spirits and legacy still alive.
Having Susie’s 60th birthday celebration at the lake in conjunction with our annual Sisters Weekend was well-timed to be just a month after mom’s passing. Tears and laughs (and a private winery tour adventure in Traverse City, Michigan) was just what we needed.
You are Never Too Old for Disney
While my immediate family of four are all technically adults, we still know how to have a good time at Disney World. We celebrated Natalie’s 21st birthday by enjoying cocktails in the Epcot countries and enjoyed the new Toy Story area in Hollywood Studios and the Avatar rides in Animal Kingdom. While it was not ideal to wear a mask everywhere, we were grateful to getaway and feel somewhat normal.
As a final 2020 note, I’m so grateful to those of you who introduced the website, podcast, social sites to those you know this year. If you aren’t on the email list yet, click here.
