In this caregiver spotlight episode, meet Margaret Fitzpatrick from Chicago who found her experience as a Registered Nurse and Nurse Anesthetist to greatly help her as a family caregiver. She cared for both of her parents as they aged into their 90’s and helped care for her ex-husband…after she was remarried. In this show we talk about sharing the care with siblings (Margaret has 15 siblings!), guilt, caregiver burnout, when to call 911, palliative care and the greatest gift you can offer a loved one.

Listen to the show: Caregiver Spotlight – Margaret Fitzpatrick

Words of Encouragement

Each episode starts off with a few words of inspiration or motivation that is pulled from the Happy Healthy Caregiver Jar.

A positive attitude will lead to positive outcomes. #CaregiverJar

Links & Resources Mentioned

Related blog post: Sharing the Care – How Our Family Approached Caregiving
Related podcast: Tools to prevent caregiver burnout
How to stay connected with your long distance aging parent
No excuses! Margaret shared that Prepareforyourcare.org doesn’t require a notary or an attorney and after walking through their process you will have a legal power of attorney.
Elizabeth and her husband used Willing.com to prepare their irrevocable trust.
Margaret’s book “Getting the Best Care: Rescue your loved one from the healthcare conveyor belt”

Margaret and Elizabeth recommend Dr. Atul Gawande’s book where a doctor’s perspective changed after caring his for his father

Free resource Margaret shares on her website some of her best tips on when to call 911
Differences between palliative care and hospice care. They are not the same!
Margaret is one of the speaker’s at 2019 National Caregiving Conference in Chicago this November and one of the presentations each attendee will leave with completion of their own power of attorney.
Listen to episodes of Margaret’s podcast “Getting the Best Care”
The Just For You: a Daily Self-Care Journal is available as one of the gift options.

Find out more about Margaret’s resources and connect with her on social platforms by visiting her website: https://gettingthebestcare.com/

Some of the links on this page are Amazon affiliate links. When you click on a product and choose to purchase it, I receive a small thank you from Amazon which helps reimburse me for my blogging, podcast, & site expenses. There is no additional cost to you.

Favorite moments & quotes from the episode

“If you have a flexible viewpoint things will go better.” – @MargaretFitzpatrick916 #caregivermindset

“Sometimes people aren’t even in touch with their fear and anxiety and it just comes out in a combative way” #emotions

“Daughter guilt is worse than mother guilt.” @MargaretFitzpatrick916 #daughterhood #guilt

“The more stressed I became the angrier I was at other people.” @MargaretFitzpatrick916 #burnout

“Every moment that I wasn’t at work or sleeping I was either at the hospital with him [her ex-husband] or handling his personal business because he did not remarry and our adult children were living out of state.” #caregiving

“Learning that I could put aside my agenda, my hurt and wanting some kind of restitution for that in pursuit of helping him [ex-husband] come to the end of his life in the best way.”

“It is such a privilege to be with people at their most vulnerable times whether at end of life or during critical illness and it’s kinda sacred thing.” #endoflife

None of us knows when we are entering the last chapter of our lives. Any adult needs to start thinking about what they value and talking to people about that and who you want to make decisions for you when you can’t speak for yourself.

Once she enters the hospital no matter how old [grandma is] there are going to be a million tests and procedures [the hospital] will want to do unrelated to why originally came into the hospital.

“We tried to follow what mom’s values were which is to avoid the hospital as much as possible.” @MargaretFitzpatric916 #endoflife

“I am a big proponent of palliative care for anyone has who has any kind of a serious chronic illness or is of very advanced age. It doesn’t have anything to do with end of life.”

“Hospice is you are not pursuing aggressive curative treatments – you are just getting comfort care.” #hospice

Medical professionals are not well versed in the differences between palliative care and hospice care. You may have to advocate for it or do a little education.

“I wrote the book because I felt increasing, every time that I went to work, that I was really complicit in the suffering of vulnerable people.” @MargaretFitzpatric916

Stay in touch

Instagram: HappyHealthyCaregiver
Join the Happy Healthy Caregiver Facebook Group and our Facebook Page
Twitter: @HHCaregiver
Subscribe to the Happy Healthy Caregiver newsletter to stay up to date on the latest posts & events.
Email me with questions or comments about the show or to request information about sponsoring the show.