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Happy Healthy Caregiver Podcast, Episode 170: Healing Powers of Nature with Lisa Nigro

Lisa Nigro describes herself as an ordinary woman with an extraordinary spirit. Before becoming a full-time caregiver in 2015, she was a community activist serving the poor, and undervalued living in Chicago. Currently, she is the full-time caregiver of her adult son, Nick, who on October 31, 2015, suffered a heart attack at home from a virus and became brain injured and fully disabled. Lisa shares how she is thriving in this new season of life, even with its difficulties and challenges.

In this episode we discuss the parallels of Lisa working with the homeless and caring for Nick, how being non-verbal doesn’t mean non-communicative, the challenges in finding quality respite care, gratitude pumpkins, pizza gardens, and more!

Scroll to the bottom of this page to see the full-show transcription.

 

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Words of Encouragement

Each episode starts with a few words of inspiration or motivation from the Happy Healthy Caregiver Jar. Create your jar by downloading the Caregiver  Jar inserts.  Enhance your jar with the Caregiver Jar refill pack.Caregiver Jar Inserts PDF

‘You can only save the world if you save yourself first.’ #CaregiverJar

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Links & Resources Mentioned

 

Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez

 

Aerogarden

Grow your own microgreens

Happy Healthy Caregiver Podcast, Episode 152: Caregiving Support From TikTok with Joe Vazquez

 

 

 

Just for you a daily self care journal book cover

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Favorite moments & quotes from the episode

‘That’s the thing, we are so attached to our physical bodies and what we present to the world, but our souls are 100% intact.’ – Lisa Nigro #anoxicbraininjury #familycaregiver

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‘Nature is super healing. It was so healing for me that I just got certified as a Horticultural Therapist.’ – Lisa Nigro #natureishealing #horticulturaltherapy

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‘Just like in people who are grieving, they have different times. When they’re not feeling steady and sometimes they are. So I like to say, “How are you feeling today?”’ – Lisa Nigro #caringforadisabledchild #caregiver

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Full Transcription

This is the whole care network helping you tell your story. One podcast at a time content presented in the following podcast is for information purposes, only views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the host and guest and may not represent the views and opinions of the whole care network. Always consult with your physician for any medical advice and always consult with your attorney for any legal advice. And thank you for listening to the whole care network.

Nature is super healing nature is super healing. It made me, it was so healing for me is that I actually just got certified to become a um horticultural therapist.

Caring for aging parents or other loved ones while working, raising Children and trying to live your own life, wondering how to find the time for your personal health and happiness. Well, you’re in the right place. Welcome to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast to show where real family caregivers share how to be happy and healthy while caring for others. Now, here’s your host, Family Caregiver and certified caregiving consultant, Elizabeth Miller.

Hello, everyone. Thanks for tuning in to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast, which is part of the whole care network. If this is your first time listening, welcome. This is a show produced biweekly to help family caregivers integrate self care and caregiving into their lives. Each episode has an accompanying show notes page. So if you would like more details about the topics, products and resources we speak about, or you want to see the related photos, you’ll find the show notes by going on the website happy healthy caregiver dot com.

And underneath the podcast menu, click the image or episode number for today’s show. If you’re listening from your favorite podcast platform, the link will also be in your podcast episodes, description, join the Happy Healthy caregiver email list to stay up to date on all the podcast happenings every Tuesday. You’ll get the weekly roundup, which includes tips under the pillars of happy, healthy and caregiving, plus upcoming events, special offers and more to sign up for the newsletter. Go to bit dot Lee forward slash hh ce news for today’s segment of what I’m reading.

I recently finished a book during my sisters weekend that we took back in September and this is by the way, a special weekend. Over 20 years we’ve been meeting first, it was sisters. Then we added first cousins that were like sisters or are like sisters and then our daughters when they’re over 21 we usually go to the beach. We don’t, haven’t always gone to the beach, but we usually do. And so we were, this time, my sister first read this book. It’s called Yours Truly by Abby Him Tenez.

And she passed it on to me and I inhaled it in a little over a day on the beach or poolside back and forth. And then I gave it to my cousin Jill. The funny thing is, is that this is actually book two in a two book series. However, the book stands alone as none of us read the first one, which was called Part of Our World. If you like contemporary romance books by Emily Henry, Ally Hazelwood. You’re likely going to like this one too. I gave it four stars for just the sheer joy of reading it.

Here was my review on Good Greed. It says Great Beat Treated. I flew through this book. I like how the main male character was the one with anxiety and he journaled. There are some potential trigger topics but the author warns you up front in her author’s note, terrific, romantic chemistry. I also didn’t read book one. Not sure if it matters as the story stands strong on its own. So I will link to that in our show notes page. I’ll also link to the goodreads profile if you want to follow me on goodreads for this episode’s favorite thing I enjoy supporting small privately owned coffee shops.

The one I frequent now is called Marietta Perks, owned by a guy named Rich and I come here at least every other week. It’s often as a local meet up spot for me to network with another entrepreneur. Or sometimes I just need to get out of the house and have a change of scenery, small coffee shops to me, scream community. And you’ll see like this one has community. They’ve got lots of flyers and things on the bulletin boards and ways that they personalize it for our community.

I prep for this podcast at Marietta Perks. Earlier this week, people were there catching up studying and several other entrepreneurs where they’re crushing their goals. This week, I sipped on a hot green cranberry tea with a splash of local honey that was recommended to me by the barista when I told her I wasn’t in the mood for coffee. When is the last time you ventured into your latest local not Starbucks coffee shop? They likely could use your support. I’ll link to Marietta Perks, the one that I’ve enjoyed in the show notes before we get into today’s caregiver spotlight.

I wanna first shine the light on our episode. Sponsor Rare patient voice. Do you wanna earn cash in exchange for your opinion? Rare patient voice or R PV helps connect researchers with patients and family caregivers for over 700 diseases and conditions for patients and caregivers. R PV provides the opportunity to voice their opinions to improve medical products and services while earning cash rewards, rare patient voice helping patients and caregivers share their voices if you’re interested, join the R PV panel at rare patient voice dot com forward slash happy healthy caregiver.

Let’s meet today’s caregiver in the spotlight, Lisa Nigro. Lisa Nigro describes herself as an ordinary woman with an extraordinary spirit before becoming a full time caregiver. In 2015, she was a community activist that served the poor and undervalued living in Chicago. Currently, Lisa is the full time caregiver of her adult son, Nick, who on October 353st, 2015 suffered a heart attack at home from a virus and became brain injured and fully disabled. Lisa shares how she is driving in this new season of life even with its difficulties and challenges in this episode, we discuss the parallels of Lisa working with the homeless and caring for Nick how being non verbal doesn’t mean non communicative. The challenges in finding quality respite care, gratitude, pumpkins, pizza gardens and a whole lot more. Enjoy the show.

Hi, Lisa. Welcome to the Happy Healthy caregiver podcast. Hi. It’s nice to see you. Nice to see you too. And I, we’ve had, we’ve had a multiyear friendship mostly online and you’re in Chicago we were talking about at my daughter’s in Chicago. So hopefully one of these days we’re going to get to meet up in person. I would love that. It would be great. Well, we met up in person at the conference when I bought your caregiving jar, which is the, a big I know.

And what’s really great is that I just saw that you have um like refills that I, that I bought it for. They always talk about. But now I’m like, oh, I need to get a refill now. Yes, I’ve even been thinking about doing another refill because like, I’m a quote person. Like I see things that speak to me and I collect them and I used to refill my sister’s jar when I would go see her. When we, when she had the reins for mom’s care, I would like go visit her and I would stuff more, more stuff in there because she and then at some point, then you forget the original ones and you can just rinse and repeat and do it.

I was really, it’s really interesting thing is and I’ll let you get on with the interview. But what’s interesting is that um I think this is great for the wider audience. When you do buy that. I bought it for a family who’s no longer caregiving, but they still use the caregiving jar. Yeah, it works for most of, most of my content is I think applicable for life. But you know, it’s definitely caregivers in mind. We all need to be prioritizing our self care. We all need to know that we are enough.

We all need to infuse, you know, some little joy in our day. So I have heard that from other people that they stay subscribed and listen. The after caregiving ends stage is a very, very true stage for caregivers. Like it, once you’re a caregiver, you’re kind of always a caregiver. Like it’s never gonna leave. You agreed. Yeah. Well, let’s sit in. Well, speaking of the jar, let’s, we always kick off, um, some words of wisdom. So let’s see what we got for you here today, Lisa. Ok. I’m excited.

All right. Here’s what it says it’s upside down. Um You can only save the world if you save yourself first. Oh, that’s so interesting that I would get that right. Um That’s so interesting because, well, who, who did that quote? It was an anonymous. Um because previously before I was a caregiver, I um was a founder of restaurants for the homeless here in Chicago, which are still existing. They’re called Inspiration Corporation or Inspiration Cafes is the original name. And um and they’re here in Chicago. And uh yeah, and that was my saving the world moment.

But um and what’s so fascinating is that the lessons that I learned working with the homeless? Uh totally blend in with working with my son, Nick who has a brain injury and that’s how I became a full time caregiver this thing. Yeah. One of the things that I find really fascinating is ok. Well, first of all the fact that people come up to me and used to say to me, I don’t know how you do that, you know, when I was working with the homeless, they still say that to me when I’m working with my own family member who I love and adore.

Uh, it, that just kind of, it always freaked me out. You know what I mean? Like, it freaks me out more now when I’m working with my son who I love and I’d be like, what are you saying? Is that what you’re saying? Like, so what you’re saying is that you wouldn’t, you know, have unconditional love for your family member? Is that what’s happening? That’s the message that I’m feeling. Um So it’s interesting and then the other thing is the fact that people never believed in the homeless, that we were serving like their stories and their abilities and their, you know, just the like their future value, their value, their future, all that stuff.

They, it was always like, oh, they were always surprised when they realized, oh, I have more in common with this person than not. And also, um I could have been that person, you know what I mean? Like if someone learns that like a medical thing happened and wiped out all their savings and they became homeless, drug addiction, obviously, addictions huge in the United States. And so, you know, that comes on, you know, uh mental illness, you know, mental health, all that. And so i it’s the same with, with caregiving, you know, with Nick because of his brain injury.

And because he has a specific anoxic brain injury, which is like a harder brain injury than a traumatic brain injury. I mean, in my mind, just because parts of his brain are actually dead, you know, and then with traumatic, it’s more of like a swelling and then, um you know, healing like that. So with Nick’s brain, they have, it has to like reroute, find a new path and it takes longer. So I always say you climb one mountain when you’re traumatic brain injury. But if you have an anoxic brain injury, you’re climbing five, you know, and so it’s a longer thing, but that’s what I’m saying.

Doctors are like, well, I’m not sure we really do that because like basically like what’s his future? And I’m like, oh no, no, no seeing time out. First of all, everyone is valuable from the moment they entered the world. And uh if we’re here supporting and loving him and saying, hey, we’re gonna be here, we’re the people that are gonna make this happen. So let’s let’s try and your body always wants to heal like 100% doesn’t make a difference. What happens? You break your arm, your body is trying to heal, you know, you, you have a sinus infection, your body’s trying to heal with all the stuff that happens.

You have a brain injury, your body is still trying to heal. So and he’s young and he’s, he’s young and we continue to, to find out new things and new treatments and like the hope, the hope of that and that question that you said, like, I don’t know how you do that. Like, I don’t know that there’s ever a good situation where someone should say that. What do you think? Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah. And I understand that other things are harder. Like people with anoxic brain injuries, a lot of people um are failed suicide attempt by hanging or drug overdoses.

And I understand that their family members will come to this caregiving journey with a different feeling about it. Um And but it’s lead us in your story too. Like Nick’s different is that his, his came from a virus that caused a heart attack which caused him to die at the house, but I was at the house when it happened and then I did CPR on him with, with his dad because he was home, which was, you know, a miracle. So we’re both doing CPR obviously we called the ambulance and um and because of his virus that he, he didn’t know he had um because he was just feeling tired.

That was the only clue that we had and he had a little bit of a fever but it was nothing. He’s 23 years old, he’s a musician, he’s a gamer. He was a, you know, a young guy that just wants to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just a dude, you know, just being a dude. And, um, so he didn’t tell me that he was feeling poorly. And the only way I knew was the night before because he was a gamer. He used to game from like, from like midnight till three in the morning with his buds, you know.

And, uh, but he went to bed at eight at night or nine at night, the night before this happened. And I was like, that’s weird, you know, like something’s happening. So in the morning, he said, I just feel tired and I said, ok, and I took his temperature and I was like, let me make you some soup. Do you want some soup? He’s like, yeah, and I gave him some soup and the minute I walked out of his room, I heard this crazy noise, which I’ll never forget.

And then he hit the floor and died. And then I walked in his room and said, call 911 and then started CPR right away. And, but because of that whole situation, they said the stars align in a very negative way, you know, and he has an anoxic brain injury from that because he had another heart attack when we got to the hospital too on the cat scan machine. And they had a call code and they did the same thing and, you know, to run him back. So it was, it was a pretty rough go for dramatic.

I mean, that’s, and you were there and then obviously the front line of it all, like, how have you dealt with the trauma around that day? Um Oh, it’s ok, buddy, Nick’s here too next year and you’ll hear and he’s, and he’s listening to us and, and he got Nick, you just got a little sad just now. Um Yes, we’re, but we’re having, it’s the change of the season and also this is his a, this is his season. This is the month that he had his heart attack.

October 31st Halloween. Um So it’s a sensitive time. Um So what was the question? Do you remember the trauma? Like how have you both dealt with the trauma frankly? Yeah. So, um we are uh well, I mean, just head on basically, I just, I’m one of those people that like, uh you know, life happens, you know, even since I was a little girl, not really great things happen to me and when that happens, I just kind of like, say, I don’t deny what’s ever happening. I just go like, ok, this is happening.

I name it and then I try to solve the situation. So this happened, I knew I was bringing Nick home. He wasn’t going to a nursing home even though that is something that they always ask, you know, they, they, they try to promote a nursing home. But I’ve been around now in the nox brain injury community long enough to know that, that would be, I would have to be off the earth. You know what I mean? I would, yeah, it would be most last resort of last.

And, um, it has been, um, yeah, it’s been, I just kind of like jump in the deep end and just swim, you know, and you roll up your sleeves, kind of. That’s it. Yeah, I’ve always been like that. That’s exactly right. And like, that’s how I started the Inspiration Cafe. Same thing. I mean, I saw a need, I wanted to get do it. I didn’t have any education in that at all. I found a book about how to start a nonprofit. I read it twice and, and started a nonprofit and it took me a long time and I also had lots of obstacles doing that, lots of obstacles and, um, people didn’t believe in me and all the things. Right.

And then I had to, like, do something very dramatic to have people realize that I was serious. And that’s the same thing with caregiving, with Nick, same exact thing. It’s just a dramatic thing with caregiving, bringing him home or, yeah, bring him home. Yeah, like, even just even the fact that when he was on a ventilator and, um, and I, and I saw when I watched your podcast, there’s, this is, this is a story of other people. This is not like my story is not unique, which is annoying also.

But, um, yeah, so he was in a coma and an induced coma, they did it so his brain could heal and he was on a ventilator. And um it was that do or die time. And they said to me, you know, you need to go in there and decide like, what you’re gonna do, you know, like if you’re going to stop the machine or whatever. And I was just like, um like, why are we, is he failing? Is something happening? And as they were saying that the um harvest team, that’s what they call him, the people that your organs were in the hallway waiting.

And I was like, this is a really weird situation like I unders and I feel for the families that are waiting for something like that to happen. But, but then we get back to that value of life. Exactly. So, so they said, um you know, go in and, and um talk to Nick and they just said you’d go in because they noticed that when I went in to talk to him, his, his vitals would change. So they knew he would respond to me more. And what they do is they take you out of the coma, they reduce the, the uh medicine.

And then I looked at him, he looked at me and I was just like, hey, dude, you know, like this is, this is like, what are we gonna do? And he was non verbal but Nick completely. Yeah, with his eyes, he was like so on point. And to totally was telling me with his eyes like I am not going out and I think he’s, he has a lot of me and him where he was actually low key though before his brain injury, like he’s low key. But now I realize he’s a flipping fighter like me, you know, I mean, he, he just never showed it like I was, I’m always in your face kind of person.

He’s not like that. All he was always low key, but he always got it done, you know. And his friends even told me stories later about like these things that he would do. And I was like, wow, like he is a warrior and he was just like looking at me like, no, no, no. And I was like, OK, dude, no, he went back out and I was like, sorry, this is not gonna happen. And um and I’m assuming you’re happy he was on the, on the side. Yeah.

Yeah, we, yeah, we, we all, we talked about it and we were both like, hey, what, you know, what, what do you want to do? And it was all up to Nick, you know, if Nick looked like he was like over, he was too tired or whatever, I didn’t know how I was gonna figure that out either, but I knew this was the right path and then, then we reduce the, the um medicine and then he started breathing on his own and doing the whole thing. And I was just like, OK, so this is it now his vessel, his body is different because he has a lot of spasticity in his hands and he is fully disabled and he can’t speak, he’s still nonverbal.

So he expresses himself and he’ll tell me when he’s annoyed or sad or we also have this code with look up for, yes, look forward or down for no. And he talks to me that way. Um I also use a, uh, a board where I have like a choice to look at either thing. Um Yeah, he’s very, and also he’s still mischievous. Like he used to be very funny and he also still, um, he also, you know, I’m the mom that used to be like the crazy dancing mom doing things embarrassing on purpose, you know what I mean for my kids, you know, it’s so funny. Emily. Yeah.

And we do things that like in grocery stores and when we hear music, you know, and we’ll be like, we’ll start to dance, you know, just a funny thing. And, uh, so I used to do that when he was gaming. I would fly into his room and I’d be like, dude, and I’m like, let’s dance, you know. And um he uh he was like, no, like, like eyes straight ahead like no. And so now I do the same thing like I’ll hear music and I’m like, let’s dance and he’ll just seriously look at me like for real, not the mood, not the vibe today. Mom. Yes.

Well, I appreciate you taking us back there. I feel like people need to kind of, you know, understand that and I know that um you know, I know you have a care team around you with your husband and hopefully some other folks are there other folks that have surrounded you. No, no, a little bit about that. Like, yeah, in the very beginning is yes and I mean, in the very beginning for sure. Yes. And um but just like, you know, if someone had like, you know, my friends who have breast cancer, same story that happens with them, right?

So they have breast cancer, they get a rally of people. But if it’s a long term, you know, illness um then people slowly go on with their lives. And also what’s interesting, I find that um they can’t like people. Well, sometimes I think people start thinking like, oh this could happen in my life, you know, like they don’t almost like you’re contagious in a way, you know what I mean? Like if, if you, if this could happen in my life where I’m gonna have to take care of someone and, and, and I’m my message is like, yeah, it is gonna happen in your oh for sure.

It will happen people. Yeah, that’s it. That’s it. And um, it might not be as dramatic and it might look differently but it’s definitely gonna happen. And so I’m, I’m 62 years old and, uh, people in my community, like, they’re all retiring and they’re, like, living their, like, best life and they’re traveling and everything and it’s kind of like, like, we don’t have anything in common in that place. You know what I mean? Um, and so it’s just interesting how people react, but i it’s just, and anything like any kind of tragedy people like rally and then they either freak out or they uh you know, fizzle out this because how many years has it been on for your journey?

So it will be eight years, this, this Halloween, eight years. And um and so how do you, you know, how, how have you and your husband? Like, how do you incorporate some of your life? He works full time at a library uh at, at Northwestern University. And um he uh he does that and I’m the full time caregiver and then at night when he comes, when, you know, when he comes home, we have dinner together and do the family thing. And um and then he helps out at that time or um so we have that I have not found a caregiver, like I’ve interviewed lots of people and I’ve ha had, you know, a caregiver once in a while in the beginning when he first got injured.

Um But it’s really hard to find someone that is not afraid of brain injury. And also it’s because he’s non verbal people, I don’t know if they get frustrated or they don’t know how to react. Um, because people want a conversation, you know, they don’t like that awkward silence, you know, but I’m like, there’s so many different ways to communicate. That’s the, that’s the way to learn. And also you could show things to Nick all the time and, um, he’ll engage, you know what I mean? Like, uh, music or a movie or, you know, like you a joke, you know what I mean?

Like any kind of like something like that. He, he still has all his five senses. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So, he just, he just can’t speak to you. And, um, yeah, so that’s, it’s been difficult because, like, the state of Illinois, they, we have this thing where, um, caregivers are, they’re called personal assistants. You know, we get paid, um, you know, heavens, I wish we had that in Georgia. We don’t have, we have it here in Illinois. Right? And so, um, but I get so many hours that there’s like, hey, you know, you’re like, wasting all these hours that you don’t get to use.

You know what I mean? Because I don’t have another caregiver. Yeah. So, I’m like, I know, but, like, I could get someone and I’ve interviewed people and when they finally, like, come here, you know, they’re like, no. And also because I, I want people who are physically fit in the way. And I, and I, you can’t say that are you physically fit because you have to be you like we, we put Nick on the standard which is like this like a table that you lay someone on and then you crank it up and then stand.

And so he gets, you know, some good pressure on his bones and muscles. And so he, you know, stays healthy and his limp systems moving and all the things, but that takes effort to get him on there and also make sure he’s ok and then work with him while he’s doing that. And if he has like, any kind of episode, meaning like he starts coughing or he’s, you know, anything that’s riles him up, you have to, like, hold him and all that stuff. So, work it out, work it out. Exactly.

And that, that’s like, that’s something people freak out even when I brought physical therapist in my own home. It’s rare that I have someone that will do that. So, yeah. So that’s the challenge. And I have looked for, um, places to, um, for Nick to, to live if I ever leave the earth because I just need to have a plan. You know, I, I was, I was thinking about this question and I thought, oh, I don’t know. That’s pretty fast. Yes. And Nick knows we, we’ve talked about it.

We, you know, I mean, like he knows his sister, um, isn’t, um, capable of taking care of him. That’s what, you know, she has said at this moment. You know what I mean? Because they’re both the same, they’re twins and, uh, so we’re trying to have like a, a place and so I’ve looked at, like I told you, like, looked at nursing homes and I was like, no, there’s a place here called Misericordia, which is for, that’s been around for 60 years that are for disabled adults. And um and they, and disabilities, meaning everything from down syndrome, cerebral palsy, you know, certain, certain kind of brain injuries and stuff and uh I’ve been in conversation with them but because of the short staff thing, it’s, it’s iffy.

I flew out to California where actually uh my daughter lives in L A and there’s a place there called Ryan’s Reach, which was started by Pat Boone’s um granddaughter because his grandson um fell through a skylight and has a traumatic brain injury. And he uh so it’s called Ryan. His name is Ryan and it’s called Ryan’s Reach. And I went there and it’s actually a couple group homes that have four, only four people in it each thing. And that’s the closest that I’ve come to um finding a place of like that, it’s gonna give you peace to know.

He’s, I, I mean, it’s not the same but in a similar way my brother is neurodivergent, born with a developmental intellectual disability, totally verbal, but it is hard to find the right fit for him. Like he’s, you know, so he’s either in, in, with people who he doesn’t have a lot in common with. Um it’s, it’s frustrating at the same, but we think about that as well in my family, my parents are deceased and if something happens to us, like what, what will happen, what’s the plan?

And you know, you do have to have those conversations. Um you know, you your videos on social media and of course, will link to everything at the end. But for those of you that are right, trying to kind of are you work in this care economy or you also caring for somebody with a with a brain injury? Um Lisa is doing a lot to help normalize the conversations that your life is still valuable when you’re not, you know, non verbal, but it doesn’t mean you’re non communicating like um and I think your videos really highlight that.

So I encourage people to go out. But why is that important for you to do that? Well, you know what’s so amazing is that Nick taught me um about your soul. Like I, I always thought about, you know, your soul like what the essence of you. And when I learned about brain injury, when Nick started, you know, when he had his brain injury and I started really researching about brain injury and brains, our brains and how we’re just really an electrical system. And that there’s this girl that I um follow who, who has a brain injury just from walking her dog and she slipped on ice and she hit her head and from that moment, she isn’t able to work and it’s not like she, she still walks and talks and does all the things, but her brain is not the same or football players with CTE.

That’s because, you know, the electrical like getting hit, it’s an electrical pathway that gets interrupted and then it totally changes you. And so we’re literally like one little poop on our head. We’re different people 100%. And so I, I’m so like, fascinated about that and then I, but then I realized that the essence of Nick, like when I’m with him, his pure essence, like there’s no denying it’s Nick, you know, like, dude, like even his friends who come and visit him, they can sit with him and all of a sudden something will happen, a joke will happen and then Nick will respond in his own way, like by kicking his leg up or moving his arm and they’re like, dude, like, we know like, yeah, it’s Nick, you know what I mean?

He’s so funny. And then I was like, that’s the thing, man. We are so attached to our physical bodies and like what we’re, you know what all of us you know, like what we present to the world but our souls are 100% intact. And I think that’s the biggest gift that I’ve had. You know, and when I do meditation, I’m a meditation. Uh, well, I’m trained to be an instructor but, like, I use meditation in my life for yourself. And, um, what, what is your meditation look like?

Because I know everybody looks a little different. Oh, yeah. I mean, I just um I have a seated practice like every day I just, you know, do like a breath work or some kind of centering prayer or some, you know, something. But I, but a lot of times I do like even mantra, you know, s and you know, just different mantras. And when I do that Nick participates and I’m like, OK, see it like energetically, he’s, he’s aligned like he does things. And the other thing is, is that um while I was doing the inspiration cafes, I’ve been a massage therapist because I never took a salary from inspiration cafes.

It was just like my, I don’t know my mission to do it, but my job was a massage therapist and in massage therapy, uh one of the things I learned was being a massage, like an infant massage instructor. And so when I became an infant massage instructor, one of the things that you do is that I never touched the baby, I only instructed the parent how to touch the baby. So I had like a doll to show what to do. So the parent, because it’s a bonding thing with the parent.

And every time before you do a massage on an infant, you put your hands up and you ask permission and this is a little tiny baby. You obviously can’t talk, you know, like and you say I’m, I’m gonna massage you, are you OK? And you can tell by the way they look and how they engage, if they’re ready and then you tell them, I’m going to touch your foot, I’m gonna move, you know, like, and you say it, the exact thing that I learned all the cues happen with Nick.

And then when I did research, I found out that you heal when you have a brain injury from, from your infant state, all your primal reflexes, all the things that babies do, like if you touch their cheek and they, and they, you know, root, um if you touch their foot a certain way you, that’s how your body heals. It goes, it goes backwards that way. I find that so fascinating and, and amazing. And um, and then I had to find doctors that were, that believed in that, you know, and, and like, that’s where we’re at.

So, yeah, so it’s been like a incredible, I’m grateful, I’m grateful that you’ve had that you’ve got the tools through this prior business that you had through the masseuse and the meditation. Like you, you came into the caregiving role with definitely some real awesome uh self care tools uh for sure. And I think that’s, that’s great and, and we’re going to link to the inspiration Corp and all that and some of the other things you said, you know, so let’s talk about joy because like we talk about a lot of heavy stuff.

Like how do, how do you and Nick infuse some joy into your caregiving life. Uh Anything in nature with anything in nature we go to um we go to a professional baseball, not, not, not like, not like the Cubs, not like the Cubs like whatever it is like the minor, minor like, yeah, it’s, it’s called something or national league or something. Anyways, it’s this, it’s a local team that we go to. Um and they have this really great handicap, you know, accessible feature. It’s called the, it’s called the Schomburg Boomers.

It’s SCG is a, is a little um yeah, a suburb. Yeah, suburb. Yeah. And it’s, it’s the Schomburg Boomers and I love them and we go to baseball games in the summer and we go nature walks Botanic Garden. We have a huge, we have a beautiful garden here uh called the botanical garden like Chicago Botanic Garden. It’s insane, beautiful. Uh We go for walks, you know, like all that kind of stuff is super healing. Nature is super healing. It made me, it was so healing for me is that I actually just got certified to become a horticultural therapist. Yeah.

What is that? Yeah. So that’s where you use plant activities. Well, first of all, there’s different ones, there’s therapeutic horticulture and horticultural therapist. They’re the same. No, but the way to use it. So there’s some that work in hospitals and nursing homes and, uh, they work with teams of physical therapists. OTPT, you know, mental health, social workers and you create plant projects um like even repotting a plant like say so like like an example would be someone you’re gonna be in a dementia care ward with, you know, and you’re working with the social workers there.

And so you are just replanting like say geraniums, you know, and you have started having a conversation with the person that you’re working with about when was it when you know what, what was your childhood flowers? You know, like, what did you have in your childhood? Because like long term memory is something that they start to make a right? Or you know, geraniums or like what do you, what do you love about them? What the colors and you just engage, engage, engage and while they’re doing that, you can even have them standing.

So it’s balance work. If you’re having a like a standing table when you’re, you know, repotting um the scent, you know, if you bring in scents, if there was roses, if you just have essential oils and be like, oh you remember this scent lavender, you know, anything kind of engaging, you know, and engages your brain, engage in conversation. And the social worker is there too observing to see like where they are in their progress, you know, or someone who has a stroke and they can’t use their maybe their right arm.

But there’s tools that are like grippers. You know, there’s ways that you just go around your arm and there’s grippers and you also get them maybe standing up sometime and they don’t even realize they’re doing balance work because they’re standing, you know, that they use these grippers and you’re just in the conversation, whatever you’re doing, it’s just, it’s therapy without them knowing they’re having therapy. Exactly. So, that’s the horticulture therapy. Yeah, that, that’s, that’s a therapeutic horticulture, therapeutic horticulture. Got it. Yeah. And so, um, and then horticultural therapist, um, works like, I’m, I’m, I’m an independent and on my own and, um, uh, I would work with, like, I wanna work with kids.

Like I work with neighborhood kids now, you know, just in our neighborhood. And I, we do projects where we did like, um, uh, we, we, we plant, we painted bird houses and we looked up the birds and then we did this, like, um, take a whisk and you, and you put like, uh, all kinds of material for nesting in it, you know, like that. We planted a pizza garden this summer which was super fun. Which means, what is that? Mayes oregano, like whatever you put in a pizza, right?

And, um, and you, and you plant the garden like that and it’s just in a, like a round pizza. So like each section you have that in there. Um, and we’ve done wreaths together where you take, you know, flowers and we do this little like these little tiny baby. Um, they’re called Tussy mussy. They’re from way back in the, like in the twenties, in 19 twenties where these like tiny little bouquets that women used to wear and hold and so you can do like, you know, because they’re miniature.

Everybody likes to do many things, you know. Um, and I work with like kids like that and I like it because, um, well, first of all, I didn’t know I was gonna love working with little kids. What that was, which is crazy because, I mean, I love, I always did stuff like that. I homeschooled our kids Emily and Nick for a while, um, for a couple of years and I had a blast doing that. So I guess I already had an innate, but I didn’t think that II, I didn’t know that that was my thing.

And so I’ve been working with people and then I worked with, um, for my final project for school. I worked with people who are homebound, um, online and we did, um, you there, we did, these are wildflower seed balls. Do you see them at all? And um, so what we do is you take, you take air dry clay and then you flatten it out and then you take wildflowers from your, you know, from where you are. So I would take midwest wildflowers and you know, south wildflowers.

So like you Sprinkle them in there and then you close it up, you know, and then they air dry and then you whip these into wherever you want them. You know what I mean? You can plant them just nice. But I like the story about seed bombs is that uh especially in Chicago is that there was a group of, they’re called gorilla gardeners. Um On the south side of Chicago, there was a lot of empty lots and um there was a lot of like uh drug dealing and gang things happening and, and people were like just treating the empty lots is like as a garbage pit and the neighbors didn’t want that anymore.

And so the city wasn’t moving quick enough. So what they did was they started cleaning up the empty lots and then they would, there’s the, the city was put fences around and they couldn’t have access to the lots. So the people would create these things and they would whip them over the fence and they would create flowers in the, the empty lots. And so that’s where the gorilla garden came. But this is really great because it’s dexterity work, you know, you get to talk about the wildflowers.

It’s all about education and, you know, it’s just kind of reminding you of taking, playing, play doh when you were little. I love, I love the connection and I don’t know if you’re familiar and maybe they would even like, it was created with more of a dementia person, but there’s a partner I’ve worked with before called Connectivity Box that does like a monthly subscription. I want one. Yes. What did you think? That’s exactly like it. Yeah, I mean, they don’t just do horticulture things but I really give them props for like putting some really cool stuff and, and all kinds of fun stuff.

And then I wanted to ask you about the kids. So like you’re having kids come over, are you exposing them to Nick too? Because like, what a cool thing and, and it’s, and it’s what’s interesting is and I, and I had to be open hearted enough to accept this, that some Children are afraid of Nick. You know, they say the darndest thing like they do, I don’t mind them talking like that but they’re like, super afraid, you know, I mean, they get super afraid and then I was like, oh, but then we have conversations, I’m like, hey, he’s as a chair with wheels on it.

You know what I mean? It’s kind of cool. You can, you can whip around and, you know, we talk about just um, just about like how he eats because Nick eats through a tube in his stomach and things like that. The only thing I don’t really share with them much is about, um, how he got sick because I don’t want kids to think that they’re gonna get a virus and then it happened because, you know, in your mind, you think, what do you mean? He just had a, like mom and dad and then there moms calling me like, you know, my kid can’t sleep.

You know what I mean? So I’m like, no. So I just say like, oh, Nick just had an accident and I just leave it like that, like just hit an accident and I tell the parents no, you know, if they want to share that’s their on there, that is their thing. I just don’t want to like, freak a kid out. Yeah, because, because Nick’s agreed with you, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Nick’s twin sister. She totally Emily, she, that would have been it. If Emily learned that when she was little I would have, she would have came home and told me anytime she got sick, she’d be like mom, you know, like something gonna happen to me that she would be that person. Yeah.

Well, what a, what a gift that you’re giving them? The gift obviously of the horticulture therapy. But then, and you’re giving them this little side gift of like exposing them to caregiving and exposing them to, um, Nick who’s in a chair and, and what that all entails and I think it’s having more of an impact than you probably know. I hope so. I hope so. The other way I expose Nick to the community at large is, um, I teach fitness classes and, um, um, we have, I haven’t done it since COVID now, but one be right before COVID, I was teaching fitness classes at a, a facility that served older adults.

And, um, but I told them I couldn’t have the job because they, they knew me from, I worked there for them before Nick’s brain injury. And then after Nick’s brain injury, they were like, hey, would you, you know, come back and I was like, yeah, but Nick has to be with me and they’re like, ok, and so Nick would be in the, in the gym with me and I’d be teaching like a Zumba class or, you know, some kind of dance fitness thing and we weights and Nick would be in there.

And that was a really interesting experience because these are older adults that are, you know, when you get older, there’s a lot of ageism and you become invisible and they’re not really feeling seen or heard, you know, and the fitness class was bringing community together and we’re doing something helpful. But then, um, but then Nick brought, like, I don’t know, like an awareness, like their life was really a lot more blessed than they knew I get to do this. I get to get to Zumba today. Exactly. Exactly.

I mean, I felt like that with my, my mom was bedridden in the last two years and I was like, look, I am not complaining about, I was just thinking about it even last night, like how I get to reposition myself in the be like, like, yeah, yeah, just standing up. You’re just like, I, I can stand up. I could use my fingers. Yes. Lots of gratitude things there um for surely and speaking of gratitude and because this is a type of thing, I you might like this horticulture uh therapy idea of I getting a pumpkin and make it turning it into a gratitude pumpkin where you get a sharpie and you write one thing on the pumpkin that you’re grateful for and then you’ll have a Thanksgiving centerpiece and then you know, and you can, you can swirl it around it like do you know where you, where you cut open the top and you scoot out out the seeds?

Then you could put a plant inside there. A mom. Oh, look at your way to elevate it. Way to elevate that. I love that. Um So yeah, so cool. Don’t carve it till you’re ready to display your mom. Yeah, because if you carve it now and then do your gratitude thing, it’s gonna be like a mushy pot. But I love that. So Um You know, because again, that kind of goes with that gratitude practice. Well, I love that. Tell us um Well, let’s, let’s get into the journal.

Let’s, that’s our time is flying by Lisa. So, um but I did want to say too, you’ve influenced me because you did a little clip on my um We’ve been doing these collaborative, real self care tips because I’m really interested in like what are caregivers really doing to infuse self care into their lives and not shooting all over them should. Um And one of your tips was about the basil and I have my arrow garden and my basil is out of control. Like I can’t use it to cook with a fast enough.

So I’ve been clipping it and I’ve been doing your rubbing and smelling it. It’s beautiful and then I take it and I put it in my garbage disposal and it makes my garbage disposal smell amazing. That’s a really smart thing because they just like, what do you do with the, I’ve done it with lemon but I’ve never done it with. And I’m inside like my air garden is just an indoor thing and the garden is a really cool thing because I was talking to another coaching someone yesterday and they were, you know, their mom is feeling sad and isolated.

Um There, she’s an older adult where she lives and I said, what did she like to do in her before? She moved into assisted living. She said, oh, she was really into gardening. And I said, well, do they have a garden there? And she said, no, they don’t have one. I said, maybe they could, they could start when I said, but in the meantime, there’s this thing, like, at least you get a little bit of, you know, bringing that gardening indoors. I bring, I do that with microgreens with people are really, really easy to grow and they’re, they’re, and they’re really great, good for you as a person eating it.

And um yeah, anything green and growing. It’s good into some of that stuff when we, when we get there. Ok. So just for you daily self care journal, this is a book I wrote. We’re going to do a lightning round of it where whatever comes into your mind is the right answer. Lisa lightning round. Um OK. What is one self care activity that you could do while you’re waiting, waiting for something to happen? Like waiting in a line waiting? I’m actually because I’m married to a librarian and also love books.

I always have books with me. I have books with me and so I, I’m that weirdo that has like a book in my backpack. And I, I read, have you read anything good lately? I got to ask. Um, well, yes, I mean, I, but I usually read, you know, like about permaculture and I mean, gardening and things like that. Yes. Ok. Good. Good to know. Um, I also am a big reader. I love it. It’s, it’s a great escape. Ok. What? And actually go to the library, you know what I mean?

To get books? I just went, I didn’t go to the, I didn’t get books but I had to renew my library card. I’m a Libby audio book listener. I always have a paperback going but I like to go to this used bookstore and, and get them and then give them to somebody. But Libby is an app that people can get and all they need is a library card. And I’m like, this is the most underutilized place in the library. Like, go here 100%. Yeah, it’s free. I know you can’t be free.

Um, what’s something that you were afraid to do and did it anyway. Catheter Nick. Sorry. Yes. Yes. Having to do ac Straight Cath on Nick. That was, that was a very, and a nurse was, she coached me through and she was, would not let me fail. She was just like, no, no, you have to be like, yes. And she’s just doing it like we’re going to do this way. We’re gonna do this way and we did it and it was, it was a game changer. Yeah. I’m so glad that she was the person that was showing you how to do that.

Um, ok, let’s see. This might be the last one here. What? Are you looking forward to doing this week? Oh, this week. Um, well, my 35th wedding anniversary is on Sunday. Congrats. Yeah, thanks. So, um, we, we usually go to, um, a local restaurant that we know the owners and so, and they love Nick and so what is it? We’re gonna plug it. It’s called The Candlelight Chicago. Yeah. Yeah. It’s on Western and Howard. Yeah. And in Rogers Park and it’s been around for over 40 years. It’s a pizza joint but it has, it has, you know, regular food too, burgers and all kinds of stuff.

But they, they’re known for their pizza and because it’s Chicago pizza. But, ok, but they have a Detroit one too there. That’s a thicker pizza in case people, you know, want thick pizza. Yes. I had a meet up recently when I went up to Chicago with a couple of folks caregiving folks. Um, you know, Chris mccabe from life with grams. Um, and, um, Joe and Bella’s, uh, one of the band from Joe and Bella. I’m like, oh, and some other folks and we were talking about how Chicago pizza is not the deep dish pizza with all we do have the Malnati.

Yeah, the meal. But they really feel like Chicago pizza is what you’re talking about. Yeah, it’s, it’s definitely a debate just like the, um, baseball teams, the White Sox and the Cubs. It’s just who has the best hot dog. I’m sure that’s all the same. Yeah, it’s a debate. So those are the kind of debates that I would like to be a part of though. I don’t like these other debates going on in the world today. Like, let’s talk hot dogs and pizza and baseball people. Um, wouldn’t the world be better if we were just debating on all of that?

Well, Lisa, you and Nick Nick, thank you, Nick for allowing your mom this space to. I’m gonna bring, I’m going to show Nick at the end here, right? OK. And can he hear me, Lisa? Yeah. Hey, Nick, I’m Elizabeth and your mom and I have known each other for a while. Thank you so much for giving your mom the space to share both of your stories today on the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast. You’re going to enlighten a lot of people. So thank you. Yeah. There you go.

I’m grateful for you, Lisa. I’m grateful for you too. Thank you for the service and just to wrap it all up. Instead of folks saying, I don’t know how you do it instead. Say Lisa, you are a remarkable human being and Nick is pretty cool. And those are the kinds of comments that I’m sure Lisa and Nick would like to hear the next time that you encounter them. Yes. And also like, how are you feeling today like this day? Yes. You know what I mean? Like just at this moment because I know that it just like in people who are grieving, you know, they have different times when they’re not feeling steady and sometimes they are like, so I say, how are you feeling today?

And how do people stay connected with you, Lisa? Like, what’s the best way to get in touch with you? If someone hearing your story, they want to reach out, they want to learn more about um the stuff that you do with the horticulture or how I have Instagram. Um It’s uh L Isa dot Nigro, that’s Lisa Negro. You know, like that Lisa dot Nigro. But I also have my other one for caregiving, caregiving naturally. Um That’s an Instagram too and you can reach me there. I’m, I’m on Facebook too, but I’m not really a Facebook type of person.

Yeah, me neither. I bought it, but I don’t love it. And now you have a website, Lisa. Oh Yeah, on my website. Yeah, because it’s a landing page and I don’t think of it as a website. You know what I mean? It does tell my story though and you can get a hold of me that way. So it is. Yeah, Nigro dot com. Yeah. Doesn’t get easier than that. Lovely. Thank you so much Lisa for everything that you’ve shared today. You have enlightened me in so many ways and you’ve definitely elevated my love for nature even more. So, thank you so much for spending this time with me today. Ok. Send me a picture of your pumpkin. Yes, likewise. Let’s let’s do our gratitude pumpkins. All right. Take care.

Thanks for joining us today on the Happy Healthy caregiver podcast on the whole care network. As always, show notes that a company today’s episode can be found on my website happy healthy caregiver dot com. Just look under the podcast menu for today’s episode image and that will take you to the page with the links and information we spoke about today. You’ll also find other resources on the website along with links to purchase the just for you daily self care journal. When you purchase from my website, you’ll get a signed copy and for a limited time free shipping. If you’ve enjoyed what you heard today, consider subscribing to the show on your podcast platform. It really helps other family caregivers find the podcast and you’ll automatically receive our biweekly shows in your podcast listening queue. Maybe while you’re subscribing, consider leaving a five star rating and review or just simply talk it up on your social channels. Let’s stay connected. I’m on Instagram and Facebook as Happy healthy caregiver. And until we meet again, please take care of you.

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