You know, it’s not anything any of us would choose. None of us want grief, none of us want crisis and trauma, but like, know that it can create a different version of you that is actually more beautiful and true. So hopefully people can embrace that journey of like that painful, brutal journey of like being peeled back.

Are you caring for others while working and trying to live your own life? Wondering how to find the time for your own health and happiness? Well, you’re in the right place.

The Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast, which is part of the whole Care Network, is the show where real family caregivers share how to be happy and healthy while caring for others. Hello and welcome. I’m your host, Elizabeth Miller. I’m a fellow family caregiver, a care advocate, a professional speaker, author, certified caregiving consultant, and certified senior advisor. If this is your first time listening. Thank you for being here. This is a show produced biweekly to help family caregivers integrate self-care and caregiving into their lives. Each episode has an accompanying show notes page.

If you’d like more detail about the topics, products, and resources we speak about, or you want to see any of the related photos, you’ll find the show notes by going to the website happyhealthycagiver. com and underneath the podcast menu, click the image or. So number for today’s show. The link for the show notes will also be in your podcast platform’s episode description. Now, let’s get to it. Let’s jump into this episode.

Before getting into this episode with Katie Prentice, I first have a couple of announcements. Do you have a favorite social media platform?

I do. Mine is Instagram. I like the photos and the videos and I find it easy to use and mark my favorite accounts. Happy healthy caregiver consistently post to Instagrams on weekdays and I enjoy sharing caregiving and self-care tips through the Instagram reels. If you’re on Instagram, I invite you to follow me on Happy Healthy caregiver and save me to your favorites. If you like what you see, consider sharing a post to your story. This is how other people who could be caregiving can connect with the platform and ultimately find the podcast.

I’d like to thank our episode sponsor, Rare Patient Voice. Did you know that you can earn cash in exchange for your opinion? Rare patient voice or RPV helps connect researchers with patients and family caregivers for over 22026 diseases and conditions. RPV provides the opportunity for you to voice your opinions to improve medical products and services while earning cash rewards. If you’re interested in joining the RPV panel, head to rarepatient Voice. com/happyhealthy caregiver. For this episode segment of what I have recently read, I wanted to Share with you the Hunting Party by Lucy Foley.

This is actually the same author as the guest list, if you’ve read that one. I gave it 25 out of 22020 stars because it had lots of twists and turns. If you like a group travel, murder mystery, then I think you’re gonna like this one. It’s definitely a whodunit fiction read. Everyone’s invited and everyone’s a suspect. During the languid days of the Christmas break, a group of 22020-something friends from Oxford meet to welcome in the new year. Together, a tradition they began as students 63 years ago. For this vacation, they have chosen a secluded estate in the Scottish Highlands, the perfect place to get away and unwind by themselves.

Amid the boisterous revelry of New Year’s Eve, the cord holding them altogether snaps, just as this historic blizzard seals the lodge off from the outside world. A few days later, one of them is dead and another one of them did it. If you want to learn more. You’re gonna have to check out the book and I’ll link to it in the show notes. My favorite thing that I want to share with you this week is an app that is on my phone that I downloaded called Duolingo.

I’m learning how to speak Italian. My husband and I are going with some friends to Italy this fall, and I thought, I know a little bit of French and maybe a little bit of Spanish, but I don’t know any Italian. And learning something new is intellectual self-care and can be a great way to exercise our brains, the way that the duo. Bingo app works is that you get these bite-size lessons and you can connect with your friends and have different streaks if they’re also on Duolingo and you essentially earn points to unlock other levels.

So it gamifies the way that you learn languages. But Duolingo does not just have languages, they also have music and you can learn how to play chess. So I’ll link to that in case you’re interested in checking Duolingo out.

Let’s meet today’s caregiver in the spotlight, Katie Prentice. She is a mother of 26, a former professional photographer, and a current filmmaker. When her mom was diagnosed with frontal temporal dementia or FTD, Katie stepped into the role of primary caregiver, balancing her family, her business, and her mom’s care.

This life-changing experience opened her eyes to the preciousness of life, motivating her to make a bold midlife career pivot into acting and producing. In this episode, Katie shares details about Her latest full length feature film, which she describes as a heartfelt love letter to family caregivers. She shares about how caregiving shaped her personal and professional journey and how she found acceptance, growth, and healing through what she calls the law of contraction and expansion. Tune in to discover how this powerful concept can help caregivers navigate every stage of the caregiving journey with resilience, purpose, and moxie. I hope you enjoy the show.

Hello, Katie. Welcome to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast. Hi, thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to chat with you today and get to know you a little bit better and share you with the, with the community of caregivers out there that haven’t met you yet. We always start something out though with a little bit of words of encouragement and so forth from the happy healthy caregiver jar, and these are just things that have resonated with me and I’ve collected so many more that I need to kind of create another one because Um, I don’t know, words speak to me.

I’m a word person, not a numbers person, for sure, for sure. Um, so this one says, I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I am beautiful because I am aware of my flaws. I’m fearless because I learned to recognize illusion from what is real. I am wise because I learned from my mistakes. I’m a lover because I have felt and received love and I can laugh because I have known sadness. So it’s a long one, not a little longer than than normal. Um, what, what spoke to you in there?

Wow, so much. I, I love that you do this, by the way, like how cool it’s like a little like fortune reading or meditation or something. I think that one of the things I think a lot about is like giving in to our fear and how much that like, how much, there’s something in there about the illusion. I think like, often our fears are an illusion of what might be. It’s us using our imagination against ourselves instead of for ourselves. And so, so much of what that quote said resonates with me, just like healing and hope and love and like our reason for why we’re doing the things we’re doing, but that one, the illusion really stood out to me.

Yeah, illusion from what is real. I know, and your fears are powerful. They can be debilitating and paralyzing in some ways, but a lot of times, you know, just taking that. step of action can help mitigate worry, mitigate fear, and, and just kind of feel calmer. I know I felt like sometimes I was spinning and still feel like that sometimes it’s like, OK, what can I do to kind of help myself right now? Like what is, what is real that I can truly do for me? Yeah, like staying present in the moment we’re in rather than projecting out what’s going to happen.

Yeah, yeah. We need that, we need that, we need that this year in particular, for sure, for sure. Well, tell us about your caregiving story, Katie. Share, share a little bit about it with us. Yeah, so my experience with caregiving, I think our timelines are semi-similar with our parents. We lost my mom to frontotemporal dementia 25 years ago. She was diagnosed 26 years ago at the age of 62. OK. And so my mom’s journey was, you know, I think she was definitely exhibiting tons of symptoms before we got an accurate diagnosis, which is really common with FTD. Mhm.

But my sister and her family took her in first in Georgia, where you are, and And she lived with them for about 3 years and then we had mom move out to Oregon with us for the final 3 years of her life, unbeknownst to us that it was obviously the years. So we just, we, you know, I was able to be with mom and walk her through those last years and um it was really tough, but yeah, so 2016 is when we lost her. OK. Yeah, it’s a it’s a lot.

Yeah, my dad passed in 2014, my mom in 2020, so kind of in between, but I have an aunt that my dad’s sister had frontal temporal dementia and supranuclear palsy. And a cousin who was a solo caregiver, so was certainly involved where I could be with her. I know for me this you talked briefly about the symptoms. I was sitting in a caregiver conference and we were, we didn’t know what was going on with her mom, you know, and I was listening to a speaker talk about frontal temporal dementia and I thought, this is, this is my aunt Chris, like this is, yeah, what were some of the symptoms for you all?

You know, FTD can be so confusing because there’s so many different variants of FTD, but But for my mom, she had what we call primary progressive aphasia, she was losing her ability to speak and communicate. Before we realized she had that, she was exhibiting some hallucinations and just describing scenarios that weren’t real, and they became more and more far-fetched as time went on. That’s what, that’s what initially got us to get her to seek some care and some evaluations. So that was before her diagnosis ever. And then Yeah, as she progressed, she completely lost her ability to speak.

She was just, she would repeat phrases like, OK, OK, or let’s go, and couldn’t really communicate or articulate what she wanted or needed or felt anything. So her personality. Absolutely, yeah, she became more stoic. Um. You know, I think it’s like, when you, there’s a lot of different neurological things that people have to deal with that where people go more internal and like more inside themselves, and that’s how I felt with mom. Like, I felt like I knew she was in there, and she couldn’t get out.

She couldn’t express, she couldn’t show, um, there would be like subtle indications that she I was like cognizant of what was going on, but just incapable of speaking or really showing that emotionally or personality wise. And what was going on in your life during this time? Yeah, so we have 53 children and I was in the middle of raising them. They were in, I think our oldest was starting middle school. And the rest were in elementary school. So it was just like right in the throes of like hectic parenting when you’re shuttling kids everywhere and trying to manage and it’s, you know, I think about that a lot, like the tricky part of having like an early onset person that you’re caring for is it’s just never, it’s like when you have anyone with an unexpected diagnosis, maybe your brother is like that, but it’s like, you think we’re all too young to be in the zone.

I think maybe now I might be expecting to do some caregiving for parents or something, but then I had no idea that this could be possible. Yeah, you’re just trying to think about like the, you know, getting them to age. 18 and beyond. I know my folks had chronic comorbidities I could kind of see it coming at some point. And for my brother, though, like, yeah, no, I’d never thought about like what would happen after my parents passed away and sharing the care for him has been, has been interesting for sure and a different, different kind of journey.

Well, what kind of resources helped you? As a family caregiver, you know, in the sandwich generation, trying to help yourself as a dementia caregiver, essentially. You know, um, I think that when we had mom come out and live with us, she was more progressed than I realized. I think my sister and I just hadn’t shared like enough details to like what her actual needs were before she came out. And so there was a lot of shock happening for me and a lot of loneliness and feelings of isolation.

For me, a lifeline or resource was unexpected, but sharing on social media. And like just feeling like I couldn’t even journal, like I just felt so like stretched then, and I would share like one little thing on social media with the hashtag like just sucks, like super vague. And I started finding people and finding community, and it was just such a lifeline at that point, and I really like it felt like that was the amount of what I had the ability to do. Yeah. But it really taught me like, wow, sharing our stories really matters and like really truly impacts, we impact one another and we soften things for one another when we’re able to communicate our stories.

So true. Well, I’m glad that you found that community and I think The social media caregiving community is amazing. Like it is for people to kind of connect with that and to feel like you said, less isolated, less alone. Um, anything specifically for the FTD part of it that like learning about this disease. You know, I, I will say like, my confession is that I, I was pretty ignorant about what FT FTD was, and I think again, I felt like I was in survival mode, being activated and trying to juggle like my mom’s care and my children and like my business and everything else.

And I feel like, sadly, I learned more about FTD after I lost my mom than even I understood at that stage. My mom had a quirky personality and so when she got diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia, I just remember feeling like, OK, it’s in the frontotemporal parts of her brain. Yeah. And Thanks also like she’s kind of quirky, you know what I mean? I just, I just didn’t, I feel like I’m, I think that my response to like the anxiety and trauma and crisis I was feeling was to like not read more, which is kind of the opposite of what some people, some people dive into research.

I was like, I can’t, like I, I am just coping right now, so yeah, it’s too heavy. You’ll unravel, if you go too deep, yeah. Yeah, that’s how I felt, and I’m thankful that I’ve been able to dig in more now and become like, hopefully a strong advocate and like resource for folks now. Uh-huh. Because I didn’t have the bandwidth then. I didn’t and it was less known even then, like the progress we’ve made is already really pretty tremendous. We need tons more, but even, even in 9 years, like it’s been significantly better and the information is growing.

So that’s, we need some positives there. If you met a new You know, dementia caregiver today that was dealing with was an earlier version of yourself back then, like, what would you tell them? Oh, definitely like, I would definitely say like plug into the community, like you said, like the online community and the resources like the AFTD or some of my favorites are Remember me podcast, the girls there, they like are so wonderful about connecting people to the FTD community and like. Research and understanding our stories.

I think, um, you know, there’s there’s folks like you that like really help like caregivers just to like listen to a podcast while you’re going to on a walk and like hear other people’s stories will will hopefully bring hope and comfort to you. That is something that like I didn’t know was even out there, but I think, I think that it’s so wonderful to know that there’s so many people. Out here willing to catch folks that are finding themselves in this scenario and just like grab them up.

So yeah, like, let’s make it a little bit easier for these folks and and then to kind of go back to one of your caregiving tips was to share your story. Like don’t be afraid to be vulnerable about it and Absolutely cracks kind of show because that’s really I think how the healing, healing starts to happen. Absolutely, and there’s like so many, I mean, it’s kind of like whatever you feel like you can handle or need, there’s something out there for you. Like there’s, if you don’t do social media, there’s support groups, you know, or there’s like online blogs like we talked about Kitty Norton and like, you know, the Wine Women and Dementia do that she created, you know, she created a Podcast, or no, a blog where when she was processing dementia, yeah, yeah, it’s like where people can go and talk to one another.

So that’s huge. And I would also just add one more resource to anyone, any children of early onset dementia types. Lorenzo’s house is a beautiful that captures, catches children and those affected by young. onset dementias, and I just think that’s such a beautiful resource, especially for those, there’s so many young people out here who are feeling even more alone and isolated because it’s so abnormal to have like at a young age, do this. They’re all great stuff that you’ve mentioned there. Well, tell us about this. So were you working at the time that your your mom was out there, or had you kind of put things on hold and What happened there?

Yeah, so I was, I actually have had a portrait photography business for 18 years and so I was right in the middle of that and um I don’t know, sometimes I don’t know if you think about this, but sometimes I look back and I’m like, when people ask like how did you function, I’m like, I don’t know adrenaline. I don’t know. Yes, it’s like the trauma. It’s like you’re just doing what you can, you know, but I, I was running my portrait photography business and I remember even like getting a studio in the midst of my caregiving journey and I do think sometimes that type of tangible work feels like a lifeline.

It feels like Healthy and happy, it’s like going to take portraits of people smiling and like celebrating their love with each other. It’s like, well, and you know how to do that. Like I know for me as a working caregiver like I like to go to work because I was like, OK. I can get a little bit of a break, but yeah, not feel guilty about it completely because I’m earning a living and contribute to my family. So, and it was stuff I knew how to do.

And you’re having conversations with other people and you can kind of put that other stuff in a box. That’s so true. It’s like we’re all, I felt so like overwhelmed by not knowing how to go through caregiving with my mom and yeah, you’re right, like jumping to. Something where you feel like, oh, I can feel like an expert, I can feel comfortable in the zone. There’s something I can control when there’s like so much that feels out of control, so that that was definitely a really beautiful thing to have for sure.

What a great thing to capture capture other people’s memories like that. They’re probably still looking at your portraits and stuff that you’ve taken for them over the years. And, and then you had a career pivot. Yeah, that happened. Yeah, so for me, you know, after I lost my mom 16, I remember being at work one day and just thinking like, I, I think anytime we’re close to death and you see like the brevity of life or that’s how it feels, you think I was reflecting on like how I wanted to do things that made me feel alive.

Like I just wanted to feel alive, like not numb out. on, you know, all the ways we numb out, like TV, social media, drinking, whatever. It’s like, I just wanted to feel alive and I thought, I want to do things that are exciting and one of the thoughts that came to my mind is being on a set. Like I, I thought it’d be really cool to be like on a movie or a TV show and see what that world was like. Um, and there were things filming in town, like all over the place.

So it felt very like accessible, but I, but also mysterious to me. And I never had any, you know, were you ever like in a drama play in high school or did anything? OK. No, and I went to a small private school and I don’t remember us even having a theater department. I did performance things, but not like acting stuff. I always thought of it, but I never did it. OK, so. I, yeah, it was just kind of this random thought and I, and I honestly didn’t even have any idea of like how people do careers in this, in this realm.

I thought, you know, you just know the A-listers and that’s it. And you think like, there’s nothing else between that and us. Yeah. So, all that to say, I was thinking that thought and then I saw a casting notification. for a movie and I was like, it says you could just like reach out to them if you’re interested. And I was like, doesn’t say you have to be talented technically. And so I was just in my mind like, I’m gonna reach out and see what happens and they’ll probably laugh at me, but it’s not the end of the world.

And so I reached out and they said, can you do a self-tape? I didn’t even know what that was. And so I googled what a self tape is and I, anyway, the long story short is that I submitted for this audition and I booked the role, and it was on a feature film. That’s a beautiful story, ironically, not ironically about a girl in high school who loses her mom. Um. Yeah, right? And it was like it was a wild. Um, her name is Jessica Barr. The movie is called Sophie Jones.

Link to it for sure. Yeah, she loses her mom to cancer in high school and, you know, it’s based on her true experience. And so I was just so deeply connected to these women that were wanting to tell this beautiful story. Um, anyways, I got this role and I remember being terrified and going to set and being like, I don’t know what how to do any of this and just Kind of paying attention and really truly in my mind thinking like that will be such a cool experience that I got to do this movie one time.

And then I got there and I was like, kind of like caught the bug, right? Because I’m like on set and I’m watching this collaborative effort of storytellers, like cameras, lights, which I kind of, you know, have a background in photography and lighting and all of that, and, and then actors and directors and watching everyone come together for this connected purpose. Felt so beautiful to me and felt like what I had been craving for so many years being a solo entrepreneur. I’d always wished that someone could collaborate with me and I always talked about telling people’s stories through photography.

And here I was on the set, getting to like tell a story and have like one slice. I was getting to collaboratively tell a story with this cast and crew and I remember leaving that day thinking, how can I do more of this? And I was a little like, I got away with it once, maybe I can get away with it again. And really just kind of fast forward, I was like, OK, well, I figured out how to start a photography career as an entrepreneur, so I can like dive into acting and try to figure out this industry as well.

And, uh, you know, just did all the things. I found an acting class, found a coach, got an agent, just started working as an act for the other. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think to your point like that entrepreneurial life, this caregiving experience that gives you this like new thirst for life. And do you think the caregiving experience had anything with you getting the role like that maybe you could identify with the You know, it’s, it’s interesting because I don’t think they were offering me the role when we all realized that we had a shared story.

But I think that it was meant to be. Like, I look at that and I’m like, there’s no way that was all a mistake, that we were all like connected through our experience. I do think when I think about acting and when I think about my desire to live, it’s like to feel alive, I’m like acting has been A huge catalyst for that to get to deep dive and feel all the feelings in deeper, bigger ways than I have as a human before. And it also like has, you know, opened up avenues and things in me that I probably, for whatever reason through life have blocked, you know, we all like survived.

and like, try to live our lives and project an image and like be a certain way in society, and our families and our in our social circles, and then acting kind of has this way of like stripping that down and creating paths to access like this fuller, deeper humanity that exists within all of us. It’s just been this like incredible endeavor. For me, and it does make me feel like so alive whenever I get to do it. So it’s been a gift. Well, good. More joy for sure.

Um, is is important. So if you get to get to do what you love to do and make a living doing it, it’s amazing. Tell us about your current, your current project that you’re working on. Yes, so it’s all connected because I started acting and then I remember thinking like, well Because, you know, every actor is wanting someone to give them roles and like create this great beautiful story and role in movie or show or whatever, that’s perfect for them. And it’s just less likely, right? The odds are not in your favor in this industry.

And my one of my coaches was like, you know, it’s really good to make your own work. So that got my mind thinking about um trying to make a film. And in 2020, I was like, I believe that sharing my story with my mom was a huge catalyst to community and to connecting for hope, healing for me, all of that. So, my first film was loosely based on my early stages of um caregiving for mom. OK. And that film touched a nerve, and I think that what’s happened in the process, I, I decided I really enjoyed filmmaking.

I made a few a number of other short films, like to learn the craft and to develop as a director and writer and producer. And in that process, I’ve been thinking, years ago, I was like, I want to do more for the caregiver community for FT. community, dementia community, and I feel like what I can do is take the parts of that first short film that really connected and gelled with people and create a feature length movie. So right now I’m working on a movie called Wake Up Maggie.

It’s my debut feature film, so it’ll be a movie that will get to screen in theaters around the country and um and. Maggie is my mom’s name. Yeah. So writing it in her honor, writing it and to honor, I always call it my love letter to caregivers, you know, because I think. Yeah, it’s like having a movie where we can watch and feel less alone and feel like hope and like, oh yeah, I felt that. I’ve acted that way. I relate to that scenario like it it it’s It’s something, I think there’s the, the shadow sides to caregiving that are harder to talk about, like when we feel like we’re not our best or we feel like guilty or like, I don’t know, for me, I had a number of times where I like I didn’t do the thing.

that I wanted to do or the way I wanted to do it. And it’s like it makes me feel bad about myself. And so it’s harder to talk about those things. Writing a movie and creating characters is like such a beautiful way to be like, see, look, we’re all human. In this, we love, we fail, we like have all the full spectrum tired and angry and resentful and yeah, all of that, all of those things are valid. Yeah, it’s, I think it’s too it’s hard to, it’s hard sometimes to document those things on social media.

I know for me like I’m not going to pull out a camera in the heat of a moment and kind of capture it with My brother and be like, see, this is what it really is like. I can talk about it afterwards and try to put it into words, but even that sometimes it’s hard to unpack it. Well, what a, what a great way to have a creative way to put that out there for the world. And what’s what’s your timing on that? We are filming this fall here so we’re we’re shooting the film September, October of this year and um planning to have it finished.

Within a year of shooting, the release will be 2026, yeah, and you know, my hope then is that we’ll do screenings around the country and then get it on the streaming service so that everyone can see it. We want everyone to see it. We want caregivers to feel hope and healing, and we want policies to change and advocacy to grow and research to grow and continue. So like our hope is that it has like a really deep impact. I’m sure it will be a catalyst for all of that and more.

How can the community when they’re listening to it this year, like how can other care per urs and businesses and caregivers, how can they help support you in this project? Thank you for asking that. It means a lot. It has been amazing gathering community and I feel like Wake up Maggie is just the energy behind it has been so beautiful just to watch people like really care about this project that we’re working on and really long to see it. We have a website, well, the web, the web name is uh wake up Maggiemovie.

com, and then we have, we’re on Instagram and social media under Wake Up Maggie Movie. OK, we’ll add those. Yeah, and I, I think really like I always say like support. Um, energy comes from the same bucket, like time, money, um, it’s like all the same bucket, you know, and, and some people have been able to give financially to back the the movie, which has been beautiful. Some people are giving time, some people are giving locations. It’s a true indie film, meaning like we’re just like rallying the troops and getting a lot of beautiful donations.

We are fiscally sponsored too, so we’re really glad that, you know, we can like operate as a nonprofit and get tax deductions for people who donate and um even in kind donations, which has been really tremendous to to be able to offer that, and it feels really good for this movie because it is a social impact film, you know, to like say, look, it’s it’s nonprofit essentially. Wonderful, wonderful. Well, we look forward to helping you support it. Yes, so follow, follow Katie’s work with a wake up Maggie, uh, movie and so that we can kind of be, be in the know too and help socialize it.

I mean, that’s, we want people to watch it and get there. I mean, that’s a big help too is. is to share it and watch it when it becomes available. Well, I wanted to pivot and talk a little bit about self-care. Let’s go back to kind of, you know, when you were caring for your mom, Maggie, and what were the things, you know, you talked about work kind of being an outlet outlet for you. What were some of the self-care things that you put on that maybe gave you peace of mind, provided you that emotional or physical energy or was just pure joy for you?

Oh, I will say like always being with family and friends is always like a self-care nurturing thing for me. I think allowing other people to help her and caregive for her too. Was that hard? It, you know, I think it was really beautiful. I think I learned a lot watching caregivers come in and love her, and like the way they responded to her. I was like, oh, they only know her now, so they’re not experiencing loss, which um It was really beautiful to like see that example and try to emulate that.

So, self-care would be like being with my kids in that stage and like celebrating those things like taking time away as a family without feeling like guilty and like getting, you know, someone to stay with mom was huge, like allowing us all to take a deep breath. Yeah. You know, always for me is like going for walks, being in nature, practicing yoga, like all of those things that help me like just take a deeper breath were pretty tremendous too. And then I think just trying to do, think about ways to connect to her too, felt like a good I know it doesn’t sound like self care, but I just think like doing something with her felt so nurturing to me.

If I could think of any activity that she could do. Um, because otherwise it’s just like when things, when you’re only caregiving, it can just make this, the relationship changes so much and it’s like harder to bond when you’re like always caring for someone. That was one of the pieces of advice I remember getting from I boohooed so much in this first caregiver support meeting that I went to when I was caring for my mom, and that was a piece of advice that really stuck with me and she said, do things to kind of honor your your original, you know, mother-daughter relationship.

And I thought, I don’t just have to do tasks, you know, like task to take care, like we can infuse some other things. And so it did take some time to kind of figure out intentionally like what that could look like, you know, within the limitations of what she had. But yeah, we found we found ways to connect. What kind of things did you find with your mom? You know, I think music Sure. You know, some of my favorite memories are when we played a song that we knew mom would love, and like my sister was visiting one time and they were dancing to one of her Johnny Mathis songs that she loved.

Same genre, yeah, yeah, the Righteous Brothers, by the way, that was my mom. So I don’t know if that was like one of her top 5, but yeah, and then, you know. I have memories of like my daughter and I coming and trying to do like pedicures with mom and like we’re just painting each other’s toes, you know, I would read aloud to her, which just felt like, you know, maybe a connection she would read a lot and then she like kind of lost that ability to and so I thought, well maybe I’ll read to her and it’s like a way for us to share a story.

It’s hard though. It’s so I think it’s, you know, I think you understand like the, the uniqueness of the mother-daughter thing or just a mother in general. It’s like this is your primary comfort and nurture person and then now you’re being their primary comfort and nurture person it’s like the very person you need that from is the one you have to give it to. It’s it’s confusing. It’s a confusing time for sure. It’s an emotionally heavy time too, for sure too. And I know you had shared with me previously too about some mental self-care you do about the law of contraction and expansion, and I wanted you to expand on that.

I’m like, what is that? Yeah, you know, wow, that idea is Something that has been really profound for me even recently it’s just this idea of contraction happens before expansion always, like the way you think about like the whole earth is breathing with the tides and the weather and the rotation of the earth and all that. And I think about our lungs. Contracting and expanding, I think, you know, if you’ve experienced giving birth to a child, you know what that’s like. Yeah, we know what the contractions feel like for sure. Right?

And and I think that when I reflect on my life, that gives me a lot of like comfort and peace to know that there are seasons of contraction that happened before seasons of expansion. And a lot of times I feel like people, you know, it’s, it’s interesting when you’re in this space talking to a lot of caregivers and whatever. It’s like, um you are someone, wow, you’ve been so many years, a caregiver, and it’s like the back to back thing is so tricky. I think of that as like the when I was having my kids back to back and how I felt so Um, maxed out with my ability, like you, you know, it’s just never ending tasks.

Um, a lot of the days you feel like you don’t have anything to show for like the work you’ve done all day. It, it, there’s something about that zone for me that made me feel like it was a contraction, like it was a time of sacrificial love. It wasn’t necessarily about me, about What I was becoming not a growth. Well, you’re growing as a parent, but like, yeah, you’re growing without knowing you’re growing, I think, yeah, but as far as like, you know, the ability to like, I’m gonna try these new things or start something new or even shower the dishwasher, that would be my thing like, yeah, can I just empty the dishwasher without being interrupted, right?

I just want to go to the bathroom with no one knocking. Yeah. And I think about that that sacrificial time, that sacrificial love is like, felt like a contraction, and then as the kids grow up and expand into their own lives, you can also experience that expansion. And I think caregiving feels similar to that. It’s like, it is a season of sacrificial love, like you’re having to say no to a lot of things so that you can say yes to caring for this person. You love. And that’s hard.

It’s hard. We like, we want to think about ourselves and do things for ourselves, you know, and so to give up some of self for another is a beautiful sacrificial thing. And I say that contraction before the expansion because I feel like for me, my life is expanding, you know, into a new career and the filmmaking and all that, but I’m very cognizant of the fact that there’s going to be More contractions. Life is messy, right? Like, I’m an expansion now and it’s easy for people to look and say, oh, it’s so easy, or like she gets to do all this stuff.

Well, I don’t. It’s like we compare, right? We compare our paths, we compare like what we’re able to do in life. And I think, well, there’s going to be contractions and there’s going to be expansions and if we can just breathe through that, like in the the way that we can track and expand and see that the bigger picture is doing that too. It like creates more ease and peace and acceptance for me. OK, like I’m really grateful for where I am and when I can contract again, I want to be really grateful for that and know that expansion will come again.

I mean, I love the way you describe all of that and there are seasons of life, I think, you know, there were definitely times where people were asking me. You know, and, and keep asking us, right? Like we want to still be asked as caregivers to to to do things. But I would say, I’m so sorry, thank you for thinking of me. I’m in the season of my life right now where I just cannot take on that right now. And I’ve even had to say that recently and in caring for my brother that like a maxed out type of thing. Yeah.

And I, and I know one of the quotes that was, it’s in the jar somewhere, but it’s, you know, is, you can have it all just not all at once. And that was very, OK, like, you know, this is a bigger thing, you know, this isn’t like a little daily expansion you can do. This is a bigger thing that’s going to need more space, but and, and it will happen at some point, you know, when the, when the timing is right. Um, I do think too though, that we, I feel like we also need to be cognizant of not completely putting Our lives on hold and so trying to figure out small ways that we can be intentional to find these little, I don’t know if you want to call them expansions, but this little breath of something because otherwise I think it really takes a big toll on our health and happiness if we cannot figure out how to accept, how to make it sustainable, how to find this breathing room and this space so that we’re just completely not back burner.

What did that look like for you? Like how did you, how were you intentional about carving out some space? You know, I mean that well that’s what’s so interesting is like I did, I did experience some expansion, you know, I mean, I think like, I did too. I mean, I started this blog. I had no I had no business starting a business while all this stuff was going on. Like that was so silly and stupid, right? Like, but it was healing for me. Yes. And I think again it’s like, OK, so, so like if If like the diagnosis of your loved one feels like a contraction, where you have to go in and process that and grieve that and like figure that out, like you can also, I think it’s leaning in to me, it’s like the other thing I think about a lot is the serenity prayer, and it’s like, it’s like, OK, I cannot control.

My mom’s diagnosis. And so honestly, even coming to a place of acceptance, where I go, this is, is an expansion. If I say she has FTD and there’s nothing I can do about it, that’s an expansion. That’s true. I love that you just like even. Yeah, I, I remember like my mom was bedridden the last two years of his life, and I, I thought, I, I don’t have to go take a walk and I, I get to, like I get to go do that. Like what a, what an amazing thing that I can still move my feet. Yeah.

Yeah, and I think like. Um, you know, I think about like when I was caregiving for my mom, I had to order my life differently. And when we eventually had to put her in a home, I created like my work schedule to where I had Wednesdays off. Now I’m, you know, I’m self-employed, so I can do that. I, I sometimes still think of Wednesdays to this day as a gift that my mom left me, but I think like some of that is expansion too. It’s like, I’ve like grown as a business person and like learned how to manage my things differently.

That’s an expansion. Mhm. So, so yeah, it’s like, it’s like sometimes it’s not necessary. It doesn’t always look like. Becoming an actress and yeah, yeah, it doesn’t have to be like something the world even sees. It can just feel like filling your lungs, you know, and just like, yeah, that, that, that release, not having to be like small and like take time, but I, I also think there’s this idea too that we like maybe think expansion is good and contraction is bad, and I don’t think that that’s true either.

Like I think That they’re both a necessary part of being. And contraction can be a really beautiful thing of like coming to stillness and like quieting our mind and and centering our life, you know, it’s like, I think, you know how when you go to somebody’s house who just had a baby, like there’s this like stillness and like I always feel like there’s something like sacred about it when, when I like, if I Entered that space. I’m like, there’s like there’s just quiet and you know, there’s also chaos happening.

There’s chaos in the bodies and the crying and like trying to figure all that out, but there’s just like quiet, like beautiful space to it too, and I think sometimes con contraction feels like that and it might be like that you’re entering into death with someone and like or watching them experience the end of their life, and that’s a contraction, but it’s still really beautiful and sacred. So you’re right, there’s so many different ways to kind of look at that and I appreciate you saying that because I was kind of thinking, I was guilty of thinking, oh yeah, and no, you can’t, you can’t appreciate a sunny day without a rainy, rainy day, you know, and rain is beautiful.

Some people love, like my brother loves a thunderstorm, loves it, you know, so, but I think if all the days were sunny or if we, you know, if I always lived at the beach, I may not appreciate it, you know, just, just as. I do. Well, one of the things I appreciate, Katie, is when I am scrolling on my TikTok and I see you dancing. So I got to say you got moves. How did that all come apart, like come about? Like what what made you, what inspired you to kind of dance or is it a healing?

Is it a self-care practice for you? You know what, that is also like, that is also something that I started doing after I lost mom, and I’ve been A like chronic people pleaser my whole life and like really afraid of the idea of what would they think. And so I was that classic person who would only dance if the whole dance floor was filled with people and nobody was really watching. Like I love it to the center. Yes, I’m like I love a big dance party, but I don’t want anyone to see like me dancing, you know.

And then during the pandemic. I was like, wow, we’re all, we’re having a collective crisis and trauma here, and we’re all trying to process and I was like, it’s just kind of again on a whim. I’m like, oh, this makes this actually makes me happy to dance in my kitchen. What if I posted it and it made other people happy? And so you’re so sweet. And so I remember thinking like, oh my God, people are gonna think I’m such a whatever, fill in the blank. What would people think?

And I hesitated to post it and I thought, no, this is not how I want to live. Like, I don’t, I don’t want to like stifle my joy or even one other person’s joy for like the thought of somebody being critical. People are always going to be critical. People are judging whatever. Like we all judge. We’re all critical of each other. Who cares? Like live, you know. So, um, as I was thinking, I wanna, I wanna live, I want to feel, I want to experience my own joy, I want to lean into the things the way I feel like I’m made to be, the way I want to express myself.

And so the posting on like TikTok and stuff was literally an experiment with um me pushing against people pleasing, and I chose the word moxie in 2020 and I remember thinking, Moxie is a nerve determination, force of character, and I remember thinking like anytime I thought. When I had the thought of, oh gosh, someone’s gonna judge me or what will people think, I, I would say, oh, now I have to post it, because if that’s the thing that’s making me like hesitate, then I’m not giving validity to it.

I’m gonna lean in anyway. So, yeah, and it’s like you, I think about that. I think it’s Mark Mahone that wrote The Subtle Art of not giving up. I allowed to say bad words on your. Was it, yeah. It’s on the title, but, um, you know, he said you can’t be a life changing force for some without being a like laughingstock or something to others. And I think about that, I’m like, I want to influence people toward, you know, acceptance, joy, like living their full lives, and I’m willing to be silly to people.

I don’t care if some people think I’m silly because I’m just attracting you’re going for the smiles. Yeah, I love it. Keep doing it. Thank you. Don’t stop. I love it. Thank you. Well, I’d love to get your thoughts on some of the other prompts in the just for you daily self-care journal. I just picked out a couple, a couple of days ago, so they’re, they’re not fresh for me. But what relaxation strategy helps you the most? So like if you’re all wound up, You you chill out and chillax a little bit.

You know, I love this question because I think like, yeah, I’m so much more in tune with what’s going on in my head and body these days than I used to be. I started daily practicing yoga in 2020, and that for me has been like such a lifeline. I do yoga with Adrian. It’s all free on YouTube. Yeah, a guy or a girl? Adrian, OK. And I think just like calming my body and focusing on my my mind really breathing through yoga has been like so helpful. So I will say I will say a few things, yoga.

I love to do walks. I like take photos of the flowers in my neighborhood or any any beautiful. Things I see, I think just connecting to the world outside is like so rejuvenating, getting me off my phone. Yeah, the bigger world, yeah. When I’m really anxious, like when I, when I get super anxious about my movie or the work I’m trying to do in the world, because it feels like such a huge endeavor to me. I like sometimes just lay down and I visualize it all working out.

Which is such a beautiful way to like calm your nervous system because like what we started this this episode with when we talked about our imagination. If we can use our imagination to bring up beautiful scenarios that aren’t real, why can’t we use it to bring up all the things working out? You know, it’s powerful. It’s so. Powerful and happy. So, and sometimes it’s just as simple as a breath or you know, like, just, just checking in with my body and being like, oh, I feel like a lot of nervous energy, like, so let me just acknowledge that and take a deep breath and say, OK, I see you, it’s going to be OK. Yeah.

It’s so powerful. Yeah, I love that question though. That’s such a good question. Well, I hope you love all 365 questions. I know I need to get that. Here’s another one for you. What’s your most treasured possession and why, or one of your treasured? I know it’s like not the most. Wow, I mean, my mind was on fire. What are you going for? Photos for sure. That’s, it has to be that. I think that uh. I’ve got like right in this closet in my office, it’s like baby albums and photo boxes of when my kids were little.

I don’t know that I could get it all in a fire. Well, yeah, just take what you can. It’s funny because when you were describing your acting and how it was like making you feel alive, it was, this was something so when I, I don’t know, when my daughter was a baby and I went to my First, like creative memory scrapbooking classic scrapbook. That was the thing I got home. I got like so fired up about making scrapbooks and getting all our family stuff in order, and I just couldn’t get enough of it.

It was just, it, I ended up becoming a consultant for a while and I did too, yeah, I, I will say like my first two kids have books. And then my last one has like an empty book. It’s OK. I don’t really. I maybe I’m one of 6 kids and Maya had a baby book and it was and it was my name. Mom, I was number 5 out of 6. So I just had the name. So I wonder if that inspired me in some way, um, to get my, my books done.

But I joke with my husband now. I’m like, if I, if something happens to me, you got to bring all my finished albums, need to come to my Memorial. He’s like, I’m not bringing all those albums. I said, you have to. I’ve told everybody that you, that they, they must be theirs. Um, yeah, I, I love that. I love making the memories and anything else, Katie, like before we wrap up, like, is there anything that parting words of wisdom for caregivers and best way for people to stay in touch with you, um, because you’re such a ray of sunshine and hope and this, and I think.

You know, leaving the people are kind of in the thick of caregiving listening to this. I think it’s going to be very helpful for them to know that like after life after caregiving is, is, it’s, it’s, you know, we miss them and it’s been very cool to kind of see the things that you’ve been doing and creating. Continuing to create. That’s, that’s really beautiful, but then I’ll say I will echo that right back to you. I think our grief can unravel us, but it doesn’t get the final say.

It’s what I like to say, and I think Um, some of my favorite people unfortunately are people who have lost loved ones because they’re soft and raw and often really honest and I think there’s something really beautiful about the way tragedy and difficulty can peel back those layers in our lives. True. So, you know, it’s not anything any of us would choose. None of us want grief, none of of us want crisis and trauma, but like, know that it can create a different version of you that is actually more beautiful and true.

So hopefully people can embrace that journey of like that painful, brutal journey of like being peeled back. Mhm. And then, yeah, I think, I think if people want to keep in touch, I have an email list called Sunshine Souls that I try to do once a month. That’s like about the most. So I can send an email. That’s OK. We’ll take what we can get. I’m pretty sure I subscribed already, but yes. Thank you, thank you. So yeah, I mean, I have that my website, social media, I’m all under Katie Prentice everywhere.

I feel like I’m pretty easy to find, and I love connecting. I feel like the whole point of social media is being social and creating community. So that’s always my hope is that we’re here, we’re here to feel less alone and more together. Yeah, well, you’ve been a ray of sunshine in my day. Thank you so much, Katie, for coming on to the show, and I look forward to seeing your creations and continuing to support each other. Thank you so much, Elizabeth. Thank you for having me and for the work that you do in the world too.

It’s really beautiful. Thank you. Glad to be a part.

Do you enjoy listening to podcasts? So do I. And I’m always up to support a fellow care printer whose podcasts I value. Nicole Will, host of Navigating the world with your aging loved one, explores the world of aging and care. As a former guest, I can tell you that Nicole’s podcast has an ideal mix of practical tools and resources and messages of hope and encouragement. You can find Nicole wherever you download your favorite podcast or go to her website, we’llather.com.

Thanks for listening to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast on the whole Care Network. I hope this episode provided encouragement and practical tips to infuse into your life. You’ll find the show notes and all the resources mentioned at Hahealthy caregiver.com. I also invite you to check out previous episodes of the podcast that you may have missed. If you enjoyed the show, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Ratings and reviews also help others discover the podcast, and sharing with a fellow caregiver is a great way to spread support.

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