Meet family caregiver Jason van den Brand, who managed end-of-life care for his grandmother and father for over eight years. This experience led him to start his own company, Wellahead, which helps families get matched with the best way to pay for long-term care.
In this episode, we talk about how Jason managed care from a 3,000-mile distance, how his family paid for long-term care for his family members, why millions of dollars in veterans benefits for care goes unused, why you shouldn’t wait to use long-term care insurance, what to avoid when paying for care, how owning your a home provides long term care payment options for consideration, and how his family values posted in his office inform how he celebrates his successes.
Scroll to the bottom of this page to see the full-show transcription.
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Full Transcription
This is the whole care network helping you tell your story. One podcast at a time content presented in the following podcast is for information purposes, only views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the host and guest and may not represent the views and opinions of the whole care network. Always consult with your physician for any medical advice and always consult with your attorney for any legal advice. And thank you for listening to the whole care network.
It’s already challenging enough because in reality, you’re dealing with mortality, with death of a loved one, someone you love so dearly that helped raise you and, and make you who you are in so many ways. And that will oftentimes just emotionally flood people to the point where it’s really challenging to navigate these other realities, like the finances of it.
Caring for aging parents or other loved ones while working, raising Children and trying to live your own life, wondering how to find the time for your personal health and happiness. Well, you’re in the right place. Welcome to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast to show where real family caregivers share how to be Happy and healthy while caring for others. Now, here’s your host, Family Caregiver and certified caregiving consultant, Elizabeth Miller.
Hello, everyone. Thanks for tuning in to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast, which is part of the whole care network. If this is your first time listening, I am so glad you’re here. This is a show produced biweekly to help family caregivers integrate self care and caregiving into their lives. Does your company have employee resource groups and prioritize employee wellness? If so, you may wanna let him know that I offer an annual corporate support package that includes educational webinars and care giving panel, monthly, group coaching calls and more.
I’m excited that employers are starting to get that working family caregivers need their support. And this support also benefits employers as it is expensive to attract and train new employees and supported employees are more productive and present in the show notes, I’ll link to my speaker page which includes a speaker demo video. If your employer likes what they see, they can use the contact us page to reach out. I’d like to thank our episode sponsor, Rare Patient voice. Do you want to earn cash in exchange for your opinion?
Rare patient voice or R PV, helps connect researchers with patients and family caregivers for over 1003 diseases and conditions for patients and caregivers. R PV provides the opportunity to voice their opinions to improve medical products and services while earning cash rewards. Rare patient voice helping patients and caregivers share their voices if you’re interested, join the R PV panel at rare patient voice. com/happy, healthy caregiver for this episode segment of what I’m reading, I finished a fiction read called The Wishing Game by Meg Schafer. People love this book since it has an average rating of over four stars on Amazon and Goodreads.
So maybe I was in the minority. I gave it three and a half stars out of five part of the book gave me this Willy Wonka type of vibe where a group of people are going to a spot. In this case, an island to compete for a prize in a game that’s being masterminded by a reclusive author of popular children’s books. That’s a modernized story with a focus on a main female character, Lucy who desperately wanted to foster and hopefully adopt a child. It’s a bit predictable.
There are some sub stories of forgiveness and definitely perseverance which I enjoyed. And I did like the riddles and the clues so that I could play along. And I will say that the narration that I enjoyed on the Libby app was also terrific. So I will link to the book on Amazon so that you can check that out if that sounds like something that would be an interesting read for you. My favorite thing this week, if you want to elevate your home coffee experience, I have a favorite product that I have been using for years and I still love it as much as I did on day one.
It’s called the Espresso Aino. I think I have the version three milk frother. Basically. What you do is you put your desired milk in and you hit the button to make it steam and froth. If you want it warm or if you prefer cold foam, then you can hold the button in and it’ll be cold. The favorite thing may also save you money as you’ll find that you’re just as happy, if not happier with your coffee at home. I love that. I know exactly what’s going into my coffee.
There are newer versions out there that are a little pricier, but I’m going to share the one that I use that retails on Amazon for about $75. So I will link to that in the show notes. Let’s meet today’s caregiver in the spotlight, meet family caregiver, Jason Van Den brand who managed end of life care for his grandmother and father over an eight year season. This experience led him to start his own company. Well ahead, which helps families get matched with the best way to pay for long term care.
In this episode, we talk about how Jason managed care from a 3000 mile distance, how his family paid for long term care for his family members. Why millions of dollars in veterans benefits for care goes unused. Why you shouldn’t wait to use long term care insurance. If you have it, what to avoid when paying for care. How owning your home provides long term care, payment options for consideration and how his family values posted in his office. Inform how he celebrates his personal successes. Enjoy the show.
Welcome Jason to the Happy Healthy caregiver podcast. Thanks Elizabeth. Thanks for having me. I am excited to um dive into our conversation and unpack your caregiving story and what you have to offer for caregivers. But we also always like to get people’s thoughts on some wisdom from the happy healthy caregiver jar. So let’s see what we got here today for you, Jason. All right. It says individually, we are one drop, but together we are in ocean and that’s from, I’m gonna, I don’t even know if I can say this guy’s name. Ryan Suu, Sat Toro.
He’s the father of the Japanese short story. But individually, we are dropped together. We are in an ocean. How does that relate to caregiving for you? Oh uh It’s kind of like parenting. I would say it takes a village. All right. Uh You know, even as I’ve thought about uh my own caregiving experience with my late grandmother and my late father, it takes a village, uh my mother, my uncles, my brothers, uh everyone was involved, aunts, uncles. And so uh you definitely need that community to, to pull these miracles off.
I love that you say community. I um I think it’s important that we have community too. And um you know, sometimes caregiving can be very broad and we can have community too. And like, you know, if you’re a young caregiver, if you’re a male caregiver, sandwich generation, caregiver, working family caregiver, so try to kind of navigate resources on happy, healthy caregiver with helping people kind of fast track to that community beyond their friends and family so that people can relate what they’re going to through. So thank you for that.
And, and, and then just to the point of it takes a village like I have yet to see a solo caregiving situation work. Uh It’s a recipe for disaster in my opinion. So, um and I can share some thoughts on that in a post that I wrote recently. I’ll link to that. So share a little bit about your caregiving story, Jason, like, um you know, most of us don’t choose this to happen to us. So what, how did caregiving enter your life? Yeah, I mean, I, I’ll probably start you off with the stat.
Uh 70% 70% of Americans net worth is locked up in home equity. And so at Well ahead. co, we vet and then we compare hundreds of financial providers to help pay for things like in home care trips to and from the hospital or the doctor’s office and even day to day bills. And so you just mentioned this, but I’ve spent 20 years of my life now building financial technology companies. And when I had to navigate end of life care for my late grandmother and my late father, there was no single place to help figure out where and how to pay for their health care needs.
And millions of Americans are experiencing the same exact challenges every single day. Yeah, I um let’s unpack your story a little bit though too. I wanna, and we’ll get into well ahead of course, like what when you say that you helped with your, your grandma’s and your dad’s end of life responsibilities, like what kinds of things did that look like for you? Yeah, I mean, it was being in California and my family was outside of the Philadelphia area. It was uh a lot of red eye flights, a lot of long haul flights across the country, a lot of last minute uh quickly uh you know, driving to the airport, frantically calling United or any airline to get on a flight as fast as possible.
Um It was easily one of the most challenging experiences of my life and grandmother um was super close to her uh trying to figure out how to get in home care, uh bedside care for 16 hours a day, how to close for five months, how to close the eight hour gap because she needed 24 hours of care. Uh And then very importantly how to pay for it all, um which is, you know, part of why we started well ahead. It’s, you know, 80% of people are going to need long term care at some point in their life and there’s no escaping it. Yeah.
And it’s just such a high percentage. And you know what I, what I realized in my experience and a big reason why we started well ahead is that it’s really a multigenerational challenge. And, you know, we just talked about community a second ago. It’s tough to talk about. And so, you know, my company, Well ahead. co, we think of ourselves really as a conversation starter for families. So we start with basic questions, simple questions. Do you have long term care insurance? Uh Did you or spouse serve in the military?
Do you qualify for Medicaid? Do you own a home? And what we’ve learned is that for the first three questions, 25% of Americans are going to have their care or via those benefits, some of their care, hopefully all. But for the rest of us, 1003% which included my family. If you own a home, home equity, turns out to be the best next path to pay for care. And so when you think of home equity, everyone always is like, oh reverse mortgage. And what we found through our company is that that’s actually the third most utilized option now uh behind products like the home equity investment, uh which is no monthly payment, an investor will buy 10 to 30% of the property.
And then second is the home equity line of credit. The Heloc, you do have a monthly payment and think about like a large credit card secured by the home. And then is that like the same thing, Jason is a second mortgage? Yeah, he is a second mortgage. A second mortgage will be you get the money all up front and a Heloc is like a credit card so you can kind of borrow as you go, but you do have a monthly payment and then third is the reverse mortgage and that has the lowest interest rates of the three, but has the highest fees.
And so for me with my grandmother figuring out how to pay for care. Again, we didn’t have a single place to go and figure this out. So we ended up getting a reverse mortgage for my grandmother. So I had to, again with all those long haul flights, I had to navigate the financing side of things and then work multigeneration with uncles and my parents and, and all these types of things to, to get that secured. And then once you have it secured, then you have to go all the way full cycle back to well, who’s providing the care?
Do you trust them? You know, my, my cousin had to quit her job to help close that eight hour gap overnight. And then the family was all in arrears because they said, well, why would we pay her to do that? Where’s that money coming from? Yeah. How is she supposed to eat and prepare for her future? Like that’s the thing when caregivers quit their jobs is they’re, they’re basically putting themselves at risk for their own long term care down the road. So we want to try to expose the options that they have to pay for long term care where they can also keep working and investing in their future needs.
Like we’re all gonna probably even live longer than this generation is typically living. So it’s, it’s smart. I’m curious, like with grandma, you know, thankfully she owned her own home and you have that option, right? But would you have done anything differently? It’s such a great question. I, you know, I’ve unpacked this, she passed on Christmas Eve of 2018 and, you know, I’ve had the better part of now 56 years to reflect on that entire experience, which led me to start well ahead. co in so many ways and I don’t think I would have.
Ok, good. Well, and even if you would have like Jason, like I tell family caregivers, like we make the best decisions with the information that we have at the time. So we have to give ourselves grace. Like you sometimes we learn a lot like later and we’re like, oh, I should have could have would have, but it’s so hard as you said, to navigate that. And you’re, you know, you’re living 3000 miles away or something like that from your, from your dad and your, and your grandmother. So, um, that’s rough.
That’s rough. Um, and before we leave that remote topic, like w would you ha what advice would you have for, you know, sons and family members that are trying to navigate remote caregiving? Like, is there some tips that you give or like things that you’re like? Oh, this was amazing. This really helped me. Yes, there’s, I mean, back to community, back to your, your village, back to your support network. I it’s understanding who’s involved, understanding who’s not involved, understanding who can provide what uh from, you know, from actually being able to show up and provide care because as I’m in the sandwich generation and you know, how much time do I have to be in Philadelphia area before I have to get back to my job and my family and then who else can step up?
And then very importantly, you know, how are we going to pay for all of this? Everyone thinks, ok, you know, it’s already challenging enough because in reality, you’re dealing with mortality, with death of a loved one, someone you love so dearly that helped raise you and, and make you who you are in so many ways. And that will oftentimes just emotionally flood people to the point where it’s really challenging to navigate these other realities, like the finances of it. And so how do you, how do you kind of take a step back, hopefully be able to take one deep breath and be able to coordinate and facilitate amongst family members and friends and loved ones across really challenging topics like who’s providing care?
What kind of care and how do we pay for all of that can provide time, who can provide resources and back to your earlier point, which is 100% correct. So many people take part time roles or all the way to quitting their jobs, to provide care and that decision should not be made lightly. It is a downstream consequence to their own family because the reality is more often than not today. It is the sandwich generation that’s taking on that burden and, you know, no one knows how long this caregiving is gonna be required.
That’s right. There’s no crystal ball on these things. Not even doctors know it’s a guess. And so they can tell you, hey, like for my father, it was pancreatic cancer. That’s, you know, terrible sentence to get. And you think, and you read the studies and the doctors tell you, well, hey, it’s gonna be a few months that’s, you know, make sure you get your kisses and, and your hugs in. Yeah, I’m so sorry. Three years. Oh, wow. Yeah, they were wrong in a good and maybe in a good way like, yeah. Yes.
Um although we definitely, you know, sometimes the quality I say your prayers can sometimes change. Like, you know, you, you want longevity and then sometimes you’re like, maybe I don’t want longevity. I just want this person to be at peace. But having those courageous conversations, that’s what I call them is really important with your family members. Did you do anything different to pay for dad’s care than you did for grandma’s care? Um We didn’t, um my dad uh works in a hospital and unfortunately he had uh some benefits through the hospital to help pay.
Um, and for a moment there, uh my brother was living in Philadelphia, so he was able and was a student also studying nursing. He was able to hands on experience there and transport dad to and from, um, he was getting his care at the hospital, University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. Um, so being able to pick him up, take him back and forth as he was weakened, you know, over time from the chemo and the radiation. And um, so no short answer. No, we didn’t have to do anything um, abnormal like we did and I wouldn’t say abnormal.
It actually turns out it’s very normal. But, um, we were able to support him and I think a lot of that honestly, as I look back on, it was just luck in a way because now my brother would not have been able to do that. The timing is like everything. Yeah. You know, I I had a flexible schedule myself comparatively at that point. And so being able to fly back and forth to Philadelphia and spend extra time and work remotely myself at that point to be able to kind of flex in and also take dad to and from the hospital.
Uh I was there when uh he finished radiation treatment and got to ring the bell in front of all the angels that otherwise known as nurses that, that helped him along the way and, and went into remission. And, um, yeah, sorry, getting choked up. Yeah. Good. No, I mean, that’s, listen, I like leak on. I call it leaking in every conversation because like you think you’re over some of this stuff and then it just kind of like takes you back there. And I mean, I just, it’s, it’ll be 10 years since my dad passed this year.
Um, and my mom passed in 2020. But yeah, it’s just like just even saying that. So, um, I know you’re big on to in the financial world like you’ve got, you know, your fintech companies, your finance degree now. Well, ahead. co is your, is your business. Um, I can’t tell you how many deer in the headlights looks I’ve gotten from family caregivers when they learn that Medicare, which is health benefits that people age 65 and not older adults receive. Um, doesn’t have to be need space. Just it is that, you know, triggered at an age point, like when it, they learn that it doesn’t pay for long term care and that it only does short term care.
Like that is a hard conversation that and I’m not a financial planner, a lawyer or anything. So I’m just trying to help people kind of navigate to the next the next thing. And of course, I will definitely mention your, your resource as an option, but you ask the questions and the well ahead um wizard, I kind of went through the website a little bit and you mentioned a couple early on like, you know, do you have veteran that military things? Because maybe they’ll qualify for veteran benefits.
Are they on Medicaid, which is like the financial needs um based up the long term care insurance. Um and you ask about their home stuff and, and their life insurance. But most people, I, you know, find that like they do feel like they don’t have a lot of options um besides private pay. Uh But are there any, are there any other options or you talked a lot about the home equity? Um being something that maybe it sounds like, maybe it’s underutilized? I think, I think it’s in that home is home, is where the heart is.
And you know, so we, we look at the what we call the circle of care and obviously these health providers, health care providers, whether it’s in home care, whether it’s assisted living, whatever the situation may be and then there’s wealth, there’s your CPA S, your financial advisors, your registered investment advisors. And then finally there’s legal, which is your state attorneys, elder attorneys. And they all have a place in this, this world, this circle of care and they all come in and out depending on the family situation.
The reality is, is that only 1003% of Americans carry long term care insurance. It’s really a product that has been reserved for the Haves. It’s so expensive. Like it’s not an option for the Millers, I can tell you. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s, and you’re not alone. And then on the flip side of that, you mentioned Medicaid. Medicaid is for the have nots, it’s, it’s a welfare program and your net worth as a family needs to be on average. It’s different by every state, but on average $8000 or less in order to qualify for Medicaid.
So is that 8000 or less? Is that a year or net worth? Yeah. Like I, I always scratch my head. Like we have a huge waitlist in Georgia for Medicaid. Last I heard, I think it was like 7000 people are on the waitlist for Medicaid. And like we tried to get my mother in law and Medicaid, I think we were denied like eight or nine times and she like, she had something ridiculous like a $900 maybe a social security check. Like, and basically like a car, a used car and then she kept getting denied.
And I was like, if she gets denied who gets approved for this, like I was just in shock. Yeah. And that’s the challenge that we went through. I had, I went through this with my grandmother to figure out she also did not qualify. So, you know, again, you got 3% have long term care insurance. You’ve got 5% that qualify for Medicaid and to qualify for Medicaid, you have to jump through all these hoops. Now, elder attorneys help plan for that, but that’s also typically something that’s reserved for the half.
So we have this, this weird juxtaposition. There’s everyone else in the middle. Now in the middle, you’ve got folks that have served in the military themselves or their spouses, so they qualify for benefits. So we just went to a conference here in the Bay area about a month ago and we learned that for veterans benefits, there are 8.5 million veterans that qualify for long term care benefits. 8.5 million. And today, only 100 and 1003,000, what are taking advantage of it actually receiving those benefits? 8.5 million qualify 100 and 60,000 are receiving it. Now, here’s a true story.
My grandmother would have qualified and didn’t know we as a family, our village, our community did not know why because there’s no single place for Americans and they’re not advertising it. I’m sure, like, you know, they’re doing the best they can, but it’s complex. It’s hard to find it. It’s like doing your taxes. It’s, you know, it’s, it’s messy. So, you know, again, with, well ahead, if well ahead would have existed when I was going through this process with my grandmother, that right there, those benefits that she would have qualified for veterans benefits, which 10% of Americans do qualify for older Americans qualify for, based on service.
It would have saved the family upwards of $80,000 1000 dollars. And now think about it like this, my cousin quit her job. Hm. Yeah, that money. She, and then the family is kind of infighting to how to pay her, who’s gonna write, who’s gonna pay for that. Right. And then you got medicines, you got all these things that add up. And so we’re, we’re really as Americans and, and to be fair, it’s not just America. I was just in Japan last week. It’s one of the oldest countries in the world in terms of aging.
This is a major problem there. It’s a major problem in Europe. It’s a major problem in South America. This is a worldwide phenomenon, but here we are in the United States got 503 million people and our, our, most of those people are going to be over 75 years old by the end of this decade. So, yeah, I just I just saw a new stat since you, like, for a long time, it was 10,000 people are turning age 65 every day. But I just saw an A RP magazine that it’s now 12,000 a day are turning age 65.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that aging is synonymous with disease. But, um, it is, you know, increase the, the level of, um, sometimes the needs, needs there. So interesting, like you about the veterans benefits, I mean, is the place to go, to find out about that? Like if you have something, you know, a military experience it for your spouse or yourself like to go to the veterans affairs or like, where’s the place to go for that? We’ve brought it on? Well, that’s why we asked that question. So remember it’s, do you have long term care insurance?
And if you answer yes to that, we say go and file a claim you paid for it, you should go and get that money, you should go and file, wait for it because I had that conversation with someone recently. They’re like, wow, we don’t know if we’re going to need it later. I’m like, but then I know people who’ve, who waited and then they don’t get the benefit of that. So do you say use it, use it when you need it? I say if you’ve got it, use it and, and you know, you just, there’s so much uncertainty in this life.
The next bridge when you get to the next bridge. Yeah, if you’ve got it, I would say use it. And then the second question we ask is, do you, did you or spouse serve in the military? If you answer yes to that, we then have these providers on the well ahead. co platform that will help those families navigate all the paperwork and the time that it takes all the paperwork and then wait to get the money on average. It takes veterans 3 to 4 months before they receive the first money to pay for long term care.
And so we’ve partnered with companies that will help shorten that time cycle. We vetted them. Uh No pun intended. We vetted the veterans to make sure that they’re taking care of our cherished older Americans and then they will help them get the benefits that they rightfully earned. They served in the military or their spouse, served in the military. And so collectively, we really want to help close that gap between the 523 million Americans that qualify for veterans benefits and only the 160,000 that are 8.34 million Americans today could be getting these benefits, right.
And then again, third, um Do you qualify for Medicaid if the answer? Yes, we say yes, we’re gonna direct them to the right resources. And then finally, do you own a home? And now the numbers are a little jarring because again, long term care insurance, veterans benefits and Medicaid, that only helps 25% of people. That’s the small part of this pie. 75% are not going to get that help. 80% of those older Americans, 80% of them actually do own a home. It’s the highest homeownership percentage in the entire country is older Americans.
So, and they think, oh, again, oh, I don’t want to use home equity. It’s a reverse mortgage. Well, again, reverse mortgage is the third most utilized. There’s the home equity investment, there’s the home equity line of credit, then the reverse mortgage. And very importantly, and this was my experience with my grandmother. Well, it didn’t exist. So what did I do? I did what everyone else did. I picked up the phone and I started calling the local banks the first bank that we called, they gave us the terms for this reverse mortgage because that was all we knew.
We didn’t know about the home equity investment. We didn’t know about the home equity line of credit. We didn’t even know to ask about it. We didn’t know that they qualified for benefits. So. Ok, reverse mortgage is the answer. The first lender that gave us the terms. Ok, thank you. We really appreciate it. I’ll get back to you. I pick up the phone. I go to the next bank. The Delta between the terms was night and day. It was night and day and So again you have to shop for it.
Just like you shop for a car, shop for a house. Everything. Yeah. And this is a phone call where I’m leaking to use your term. It’s emotional like you’re, you’re trying to do this, navigate it, but it’s also emotional and you’re in a crisis situation. Like it’s, it’s, it’s, yeah, it’s a, it’s a, we, we wanna help, you know, other people avoid, avoid this. Um I, I love that you, I love not that you went through this experience but that you’ve used this experience to inform and change and do something um positive for that.
And with well ahead and, and that you are vetting them, right? Like you say on the website that you safeguard families from using predatory practice. What does that mean? Like in just layman’s terms? Like, what does that mean? I mean, if you think about it like this, in my experience, I picked up the phone and I’m in this, you know, emotional state and the first lender gives me terms and had I not had my financial background, I probably would have said great. Let’s do it. You trust you trust, especially if it’s your bank.
You’ve been, I’ve been using the same bank for years. Yeah, it wasn’t even, it wasn’t our bank, it wasn’t our bank. It was a local lender. And then fortunately I went to the next one that had way better terms. And so, you know, there is obviously an issue in this country and worldwide where certain financial providers are going to prey on the weak, right on the people that need help the most, they’re gonna potentially take advantage. And so we take it upon ourselves at Well ahead. co to interview them.
I asked them, we asked them things like show us your rates, show us your fees. How many customer service agents do you have that are trained to deal with emotional transactions? Like getting money to pay for care for older Americans? How many states do you operate in? How long have you been in business? So on and so on and so forth. We have 32 different checklists that we put them, we put them through the ranks. Good. So that now come back to my story here I am, I’m picking up the phone instead we want people to have one place to go to.
That’s already done that phone picking up thing and the people that you actually then work with, they’re, they’re not the ones that are trying to take advantage of you because we’ve already shopped them. We’ve already made sure that they’re in par like in the market of what, how much does it cost? And then we bring that transparency to the family so that they can make the best decision and avoid what almost got us and it gets you give a couple options like on average, the people that we’re working with and we’re talking about thousands of Americans now that we’ve worked with, they’re gonna talk to even on our platform, they talk to two providers, stop and compare even between them and make sure that they’re getting the best deal.
It’s not gonna be night and day. It’s gonna be like 7 a.m. to 103 a.m. But yeah, take 7 a.m. It’s good, I think to have a couple to, to bump up against each other. You know, and I know the initial wizard process, I’m gonna call it. You probably have a more sophisticated but the question is free. But you are an entrepreneur, you’ve, you’ve, you’ve got a proven record with fintech companies. Um How, how does well ahead make money and stay in business? Like can you be transparent about that a little bit 100%?
I mean, transparency is one of our core values. So this is completely free. Wellhead. co is completely free for every single American out there. You can go and visit the site wellhead.co. There’s no m on the end. That’s one thing that trips people up or you can just stick it in into google. com and, and uh you know, you’ll find, I like the name by the way it is what it is. Yeah, we’re trying to help people say well, yeah, go ahead and so we, we get paid by these financial institutions that are on our marketplace.
It’s a very, very small dollar amount and think of it just as a, a referral fee. Ok. Like a lead generator, you’re basically, they didn’t have to go out and find these people. You vetted them, you’re selecting them. And then you’re saying, hey, here’s a, here’s a qualified client that could be good for you and you’ve saved them so much marketing and all that. So for that service they’re paying you well. Our goal is to build a trusted relationship with the family. And so as, you know, as we know, it’s typically the oldest daughter of the family that’s navigating these end of life circumstances and caregiving circumstances.
They’re making the biggest sacrifices. I’m the oldest of three boys. So it, you know, fell on my shoulders here. Uh The term has been volleyed around alpha daughter, oldest daughter, daughter, Judy, everyone has a different term for this. But that’s who this, that’s the relationship that, that, you know, we really are building trust within at well ahead and who, while we serve older Americans, that’s who, that’s who we’re here to help. We also work with families to help them figure out best way to pay for care for their loved ones and what are their own financial needs.
What, you know, how do we actually help the entirety of the country? Because again, I just went through this for grandmom. Dad passed in between that and grandmom passed and I sit here and I look at my two Children, I have a five year old son and a three year old daughter. And I think, well, boy, I really want to make sure that they don’t have to go through what I went through. Yeah. I mean, that, that’s why I’m here as well. Like it’s, you just want to make it easier and different and trust and trust is everything.
So thank you for your, your transparency because I will say like the caregiving world, like if you get believers and the family caregivers, like they are the best referrals for you. Like they are going to tell their friends and be like this is what helped for us like in those support group meetings and things like that you will have loyal following, you know, forever. When um you take care of of family caregivers, is there, is there any bad ideas when it comes to paying for care? Try to avoid using credit cards?
I think that’s the number one thing that people tend to do is use credit cards and it’s a real slippery slope. Interest rates on credit cards are over 20% on average. Then suddenly you’re paying that back and you borrowed a lot of stress of that. Like that’s keeping me up at night. Yeah. And you know, when you look at the cost of care today, I mean, these, these numbers are gonna blow your mind. I know, you know it, but they’re gonna blow someone’s mind. Yeah, it’s the cost of care is today close to $8000 per month, $8000 by the end of this decade, by 2030 it’s gonna be closer to 15,000.
So it’s nearly gonna double from today. The length of care that people need is upwards of 18 months. Yeah, that’s actually less than I’ve heard. The average caregiver is a caregiver for 103 years. Um, is kind of one of the stats. Uh, yeah. So, I mean, this is a huge problem and I, I’ve lived it right, my mom and assisted living and I’m grateful that my parents, you, you said the haves and the have nots they were on the have spectrum, you know, where my dad had sold his company and he had invested well and, but we, you know, dwindled away that nest egg and it didn’t take a whole lot.
We would have to have meetings with their financial planner. Like if we keep spending what we’re spending, how long are we gonna be able to make that? And, you know, now that my parents are deceased, it’s the siblings and I sharing the care if I have a brother with an intellectual and developmental disability who needs care and is not, you know, employable. So he gets SSDIS Social Security disability insurance. Um and sometimes Medicaid, uh that kind of varies. He’s a snowbird. He lives half the year in Michigan, half the year in Georgia, which is also interesting.
Um But we are having those conversations again. Like, can we, you know, he’s 60 years old. How are we gonna pay for his long term care? We’re all getting older. We need a backup plan that if we’re, you know, our, our village is not, um, the way it is. So the conversations are always out there. But I think the important thing is to, to keep a, to them and, and I’m not like you Jason, I don’t have the finance acumen that you business acumen. I’m a broadcast journalism major.
Like I could write you a really nice um cover letter or anything that you want, but finance is definitely not my thing. So, um you know, another, another one comes up a lot. Remember I talked earlier about the circle of care, health care providers. You have wealth, you have legal, right? Those come in. So healthcare providers, obviously they’re providing care, right? No matter how you slice and dice that they’re providing care and they get paid for it and that’s the job and that’s what we all do.
And then, well, hopefully, because we all know there’s this whole big slug of people that are unpaid caregivers, we can come back to that 3 million in the US. And more. So now when you talk about wealth, right? So another thing that people don’t think about when they’re comparing options. So you mentioned financial advisor, financial planner. So people will go and actually liquidate stocks bonds such, you know, things like that. Investments to help pay for care. When you do that, you’re now going to have a capital gains tax.
The federal average federal capital gains tax is 20%. And depending on where you live, which state like in California, California also charges upwards of 2100% capital gains tax. So here’s the example you need, let’s put some real numbers out there. Now, you need $2100,2100 to pay for care and that’s probably on the low side. But it’s a round number. You’re in a position as a family where there’s an investment portfolio that has $250,252 in it. You also are in a position where mom, dad both owned a home that has $210,1003 in equity.
What should you do? Yeah, great question. Financial planner will tell you typically much to the chagrin of elder attorneys. I’ll come back to that to liquidate the $2100,2100 in investments. Elder attorney says that’s nonsense because they’re thinking about taxes and tax planning. So, unless you’ve got a network of CPA S financial attorneys, financial providers, elder attorneys, to all be looking at the thing at the same time, more often than not, you’re going to liquidate that investment and then you’re gonna get a tax bill for 2100 to $30,000. The alternative was to go and liquidate some of the home equity that you have.
You’re not gonna pay 20 to $30,000 in taxes if you do that. So while I talk and we talk a lot about haves and have nots long term care insurance to Medicaid. When we talk about everybody in between, which again is 75% of Americans. They own a home, they have some investments. The most common thing people do is liquidate the investments. But well, before that, they use credit cards. So I would, if anything, please don’t do that, you have to take into account, liquidating investments, paying taxes versus using home equity.
The net result is the same at some point. Like when my grandmother died, the home, everyone thinks, well, we want to keep the home, we want to keep the home. The number one thing that the heirs to the home do is sell the home, right? I think sometimes like you said earlier, like there’s an emotional thing that my parents actually own two homes and my mom would never even approach the conversation of selling one of the, the homes. But to your point, like as soon as she passed away, we knew we could not maintain both of them.
Keep both of them. We sold one and my sister bought the other one. So, um we actually sold two, I guess technically because my sister bought it, but it’s, you know, there’s, it’s complicated, I think to your point like you gotta kind of look in and put your arms around all of it. And um and it, it makes sense out of it, you know. And then I think another thing that I hear financial related that people ask and I’ve seen people do and I’m like, oh, probably not a good idea is that they, um, but again, not a financial person is, should a family caregiver add their name to mom or dad’s bank account like they do it, I think because it’s easy, like to do it.
But I do, I have heard that, um, could potentially be putting them in jeopardy for Medicaid and other government services down the road. So better to get a power of attorney, a financial power of attorney. I think this is why elder attorneys exist. Everyone thinks they’re gonna cost a ton of money. Uh, when you compare what a attorney costs, which everyone here is attorney, they think. Oh my God, that’s so expensive. We compare that expense to the attorney to what not being able to qualify for. Medicaid is gonna cost the family and 1003 times out of 100.
The attorney cost is less. And so again, well ahead, that’s why we’re partnering with home care providers, assisted living providers, registered investment advisors, elder attorneys to collectively bring in all of the complexities that come into play here into one place. So that when families are navigating end of life, care like you and I both have and millions and millions of Americans, it’s 5.5 million Americans today. Every single year are gonna go through this and that number is obviously going to be going up. And so where do you go to find the right answers based on your own specific scenarios, your own personal financial, your own tax issues.
That’s what our technology is building. That’s what we help solve for. And that’s why we exist to help older Americans and their families figure out the best way to pay for this needed care. So good, so good. And, and is there anything that well ahead doesn’t do? Like, is there, is there anything in kind of in the financial realm that you’re like? Oh, that’s not really what we do. Yeah, we back to the wizard that you call it the question. You know, if you select, yes, that you have long term care insurance.
We are not going to help you file your claim, you select. Yes, that you serve in the military or your spouse, served in the military. We are not going to be the ones that actually help you with that paperwork. However, we do have providers on our network, on our platform, on our marketplace that will help you. So we will make those connections. So I’d say the only thing we’re not doing as it pertains to this is helping someone with long term care insurance. We’re not going to go and just be like, hey, go do this.
We’re gonna give them the guidance because it’s the right thing. To do it all. The more reason that we need to exist because I’ll give you another example back to my story. If I call up that first reverse mortgage lender for my grandmother, number one, they’re not gonna ask us if we have long term care insurance or if we qualify for veterans benefits or if we qualify for Medicaid, why? Because they get paid a commission to sell mortgage. That’s their job. That’s what they get paid. And that moral hazard is subconscious.
They’re not bad people. They’re not doing this on purpose. It’s just, that’s their job. That’s what they’ve been trained to do of hammers and nails. They’re the hammers and we’re the nails. So, you know, as we thought about building, well ahead, we didn’t, we’re not a lender, we’re not an investor, right? We’re here to serve people and compare all of them to each other so they can make the best decision. Yeah, one other question about the what? So after someone puts the question, questions in well ahead, um you’re serving up or you’re like concierge, kind of serving up the options.
You’re not taking their information and giving it to all of these people so that these folks get um bombarded with emails and yeah, I’m glad that that would be miserable. By the way, please don’t do that. No, no, we don’t do that. Ok. So we get the information and then we do have a concierge team that will actually get in touch typically with the oldest daughter of the family, the older American, whatever the case may be, we’ll actually get in touch with you. However you want to be getting, get in touch with.
So it’s a phone call. If you want to email, that’s fine. We also text and all we’re gonna do is just confirm the information that came in. Get a little bit more of an understanding of, hey, what’s the situation here? And then we’re gonna make this recommendation that provides guidance of, you know, ok, based on your situation, based on everything you’ve just told us, uh, here’s your options and transparently here, here are not your options and why? Right. So that way, then we go back to this vetted financial provider list hundreds of financial providers.
So that instead of you having to deal with 100 phone calls from all of them, if you put your information into the wrong website, you’re gonna have two phone calls and you’re talking to the right two people, right? Products that are best for your situation. So we think of it like a filtering exercise, right? And uh, I mean, because if you think of the person that you, you and I were those people, we’re sitting there, we’re emotional, we’re vulnerable, we’re dealing with very difficult situations with family members and caring for our loved ones.
We’re flying to and from across the country, we’re tired and then on top of that we have to go and figure out how to pay for it. And that’s the reality for every American. So that’s the worst time to be having to get 100 phone calls on top of what you’re already dealing with 100 emails or 100 text messages. Let’s narrow that down to the best two and that’s, that’s what we done. And then also that concierge team is available. So as you’re going through the process, you’re talking to these two providers that we’ve narrowed it down for you.
You have additional questions, you come back to us and guess what? It’s not a robot. It’s a human. It’s a real person right here in this country that you can talk to, uh, to help you through this process because again, look, you know, you brought up your quote at the beginning of the podcast from the Jar. Yes, necessity is the mother of invention. This is the necessity that as I kind of sat there crying my eyes out, going through this reality that my grandmother is gone. My father is gone.
Everything that I had gone through all that emotion, everything I had done everything my family had experienced the not getting the veterans benefits that, you know, almost working with the wrong lender that would have cost us more money. You know, all these things bubbled up. Well, this is what we need, this is what the country needs. So here we are and we’re inventing it to bring transparency, to bring awareness to all these financial products that exist today. Veterans benefits, whatever the case may be, there’s a finite amount of ways to pay for it.
Hopefully again, if we can do anything right here, you just don’t pay for it with a credit card because that’s just a terrible, don’t do that. But I’m curious and if you’re willing to share, like, what have you done to set up, um, your family for your future long term care needs? I don’t know yet. I’m on the road to find out. Ok. That’s an honest answer. I mean, is the mother of invention. So, here we are. Yeah, we’re learning, we’re, we’re, we’re figuring out just like everyone else.
Ok. Here’s the options. Here’s what, what’s out there? Should I go to my family budget and try to figure out how to pay for long term care insurance. You mentioned, it’s really expensive. I’m on the road to find out. I want that answer. Yeah. Go get it. I found that over the age of 50. Like I’m 52 now. So, um, but we did go see an elder law care attorney. We have all of our ducks in a row. We put our home in a trust. Uh That was another thing that I learned from my parents of like how easy it was when they passed away to kind of avoid probate and to do all of those things So I wanted to have that the, the word that what I had heard or learned is that, um, you know, if you own your own home, that’s something to think about is to put it in a, in a trust.
And I’m grateful for my brother’s trust. The special needs trust that is, gives us a lot of comfort and um and caring for him for sure. So, well, we’ve got to switch real quick because we’re gonna run out of time, Jason. But I gotta ask you about your self care. You’re a busy entrepreneur. You’re got this company that you’re, you know, you’re growing and helping people. What do you do so that you don’t burn out and that you prioritize your health and happiness? Um What kind of we’re being nosy?
Yeah, I have this machine called a Tonal. Hm. Like Peloton for strength training. OK. Uh So I try to get on that thing about three times a week. Nice. I mountain bike to get my cardio. Uh I meditate twice a week. Just for 10 minutes. A pop. Nice. Do you use an app or program for that app called calm. I love calm. I use calm. Yep. Um Let me think. I’m trying to think of the uh the, the facilitator’s name. Ta Tamara Ta Yeah, Levitz or something like that.
Tamara Levitz I think is how you say it. Yes. Her voice is just um peaceful. I love a guided meditation because I will fill in the blanks if you kind of give me something to kind of focus on and do whether it’s a body scan or breathing. So, yeah, I do, I do therapy, uh uh therapy, talk therapy once every two weeks, uh video. Uh, the therapist is located in Oregon. I’m here in Northern California. Um, and then, you know, just, I play with my kids. I, you know, I, I go on walks with my wife after we get the kids down and just talk through everything and just try to, you know, really take care of yourself.
And, you know, look, I, my life’s not that different than anyone else. You know, like we’re all going through our own challenges, we have our own issues. We’re all dealing in so many ways and then you get these curveballs of uh, hey, the phone call, we need help or hey, dad got diagnosed with cancer. He needs to go get the whipple procedure, right? And that stuff you never know when that’s gonna come. And so, you know, very importantly, I’m really glad you asked this question because, you know, for caregivers like taking care of yourself, uh through all of this is really hard.
It’s easy to kind of let everything else absorb, you know, everything that’s there. And if you can just find 10 minutes to go and, and take a walk or do the meditation or do some air squats, do something to just kind of take care of yourself and be kind to yourself as you’re going through this, you’re not alone again. There’s millions and millions of Americans that are going through the same exact thing every single day. So, you know, find that community, find that village they’re out there, talk through these things.
Have the, have the hugs, have the cries, like lean on your friends, lean on your family. It’s a really trying time. I’ve been, oh, you’re saying all the right things and I didn’t even have to, I don’t even have to pay you. I mean, that’s essentially what, what happy, healthy caregiver is all about is hopefully like fast tracking them to ideas. That’s why I get real personal about the things because it’s like, well, try this on like see how this makes you feel. Does it make you feel more Energi energized?
Does it make you feel like you’re getting more peace of mind? Does it? Is it just played fun? Like keep doing more of that? Now, I gotta ask you a question from the Just for you Daily self-care journal. This is a book that I wrote that helps people prioritize their health, health and happiness because sometimes we do lose ourselves. Um Let’s see. I’m just gonna try to scan here and pick out a good one for you. Um I like that one. Let me look at one more.
Well, I think this is a good one because you, you have had this. But how do you celebrate your personal successes? Like when you’ve built and sold your companies prior and which I know that you’ve done and, and maybe that’s the future well ahead and you’ll move on to something else. Like, how do you celebrate those successes? How do you celebrate the successes that you have? Uh I don’t know if you can see on my, my backdrop here, but this is my family’s core values. Ah I love that.
So we’ve got uh give generously uh practice gratitude, work hard seek adventure and think globally. And so what comes to mind when I think about celebrating is to uh give generously and practice gratitude. So number one, who can we give back to that helped us get here? Right. So, you know, so many times you think you hear about the self made person, the self made man, the self made woman, it’s not real, it’s that help along the way. So being able to give back in any way if, if you know, if it’s money great, if it’s not, it’s time.
So you know, helping other entrepreneurs that are coming up on their own journey, which is oftentimes very lonely, being there for them giving back. If you give a lot, you get a lot. It’s kind of my life’s mantra and then practicing gratitude. So just so much gratitude for everyone and everything from community and all those that have helped me, my family, my parents, my brothers, my sisters, everyone in our community that have helped us get to where we are um to live this life. And it’s short.
And so when I celebrate anything, the milestones of life, uh it probably starts with those two and, you know, I probably wash that down with a nice glass of red wine. There you go. We live in northern California. So wine is, is here. It’s abundant. Uh, and you know, my wife’s birthday is this Thursday tomorrow actually. Ok, good that you remember. I’m ready. I’m, I’m good. Yeah, I love that. We go and Friday night, a little wine bar locally and have a glass of wine, clink the glasses and, you know.
Yeah, as you should, as you should. Well, Jason, I’ve enjoyed our conversation. And are there anything else that you wish we talked about? And then how do people get in touch with? Well ahead. Yeah, I think we’ve covered everything so to get in touch with. Well ahead. Uh, it’s, it’s Well ahead. co just remember the M is not on there. It’s, you know, that one was, uh, it’s not ours yet. It will be, I promise. Um, and uh you can find us on, on the internet just Well ahead.co.
Um And yeah, just, you know, again, I think what we’ve really tried to bring to light here is to help older Americans and their families just figured these really, really complex situations out much like you and I experienced, everyone’s financial picture is different. Everyone’s health care needs are different. Not everybody needs an attorney. Some do not, everyone has a financial advisor, some do not. Everyone is going to need in home care or assisted living. There are other services out there and the one commonality across all of it is what’s the best way to pay for it?
And so if you have long term care insurance, you should absolutely use it. If you qualify for veterans benefits, you should absolutely use it so on and so forth. If you own a home, it’s another thing to consider. Well, ahead. co will help you figure out the best path forward so that you’re not dealing with 100 phone calls, 100 emails, 100 text message. Thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you for everything that you’ve made me, you know, a smarter coach so that when I coach caregivers, I can help them navigate to some resources that help and I just um appreciate your story and appreciate what you do.
So I’m grateful for our conversation today. Right back at you. Thank you for all you do. I really appreciate it. Thank you.
Thanks for joining us today on the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast on the whole care network. As always show notes that a company today’s episode can be found on my website Happy Healthy caregiver.com. Just look under the podcast menu for today’s episode image and that will take you to the page with the links and information we spoke about today. You’ll also find other resources on the website along with links to purchase the Just for you daily self care journal. When you purchase from my website, you’ll get a signed copy and for a limited time free shipping. If you’ve enjoyed what you heard today, consider subscribing to the show on your podcast platform. It really helps other family caregivers find the podcast and you’ll automatically receive our biweekly shows in your podcast listening queue. Maybe while you’re subscribing, consider leaving a five star rating and review or just simply talk it up on your social channels. Let’s stay connected. I’m on Instagram and Facebook as Happy healthy caregiver. And until we meet again, please take care of you.
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