This is the whole care network helping you tell your story. One podcast at a time content presented in the following podcast is for information purposes, only views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the host and guest and may not represent the views and opinions of the whole care network. Always consult with your physician for any medical advice and always consult with your attorney for any legal advice. And thank you for listening to the whole care network.

 

I think it’s just part of your makeup, this whole caregiving, it’s like a gene, you know, and I think that once you’ve been through it, I think you, you take that energy and you wanna keep working with it.

 

Caring for aging parents or other loved ones while working, raising Children and trying to live your own life, wondering how to find the time for your personal health and happiness. Well, you’re in the right place. Welcome to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast to show where real family caregivers share how to be happy and healthy while caring for others. Now, here’s your host, Family Caregiver and Certified Caregiving consultant, Elizabeth Miller.

 

Hello, everyone. Thanks for tuning in to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast, which is part of the whole care network. If this is your first time listening, welcome. This is a show produced biweekly to help family caregivers integrate self care and caregiving into their lives. Each of our episodes has an accompanying show notes page.

 

So if you want more details about all the stuff that we’re going to be talking about, you can head over to Happy Healthy caregiver. com, go to the podcast menu and then click the image or the episode number for today’s show. We’re also going to put that link in your podcast platforms, episode description. So you can easily navigate to the resources that can help you. If you’re not on the email list for Happy healthy caregiver, you are missing out every Tuesday. I send out a weekly roundup which includes tips under the pillars of happy healthy and caregiving.

 

Plus I share upcoming events and offers and other information. You can find that and subscribe at bit dot lee forward slash hh ce news. If you haven’t heard about the cruise yet, I don’t know where you’ve been, where you’ve got a self care at sea cruise happening in October of 83. And we are booking up the rooms and we want you to be on it. We are planning for respite care for family caregivers giving you a payment plan so that you have time to prepare and arrange that backup care we want you to come for the respite and leave with a community of caregivers and resources that can help you when you return back home.

 

Learn more at bit dot Lee forward slash hh self care crew. By the way, we’re always looking for sponsors for the cruise. It’s a great way to advertise your brand, your product and your service. So ask me about the sponsor options that we have available. I’d like to thank our episode sponsor, Rare Patient Voice. Do you want to earn cash in exchange for your opinion? Rare patient voice or R PV helps connect researchers with patients and family caregivers for over 700 diseases and conditions for patients and care.

 

R PV provides the opportunity to voice their opinions to improve medical products and services while earning cash rewards, rare patient voice, helping patients and caregivers share their voices if you’re interested, join the R PV panel at Rare Patient voice. com/happy, healthy caregiver. My romance book streak is continuing and I have two new ones and a two book series to recommend I listen to the series by Christina Lauren and it’s the DNA Duo series is what she calls it. Book one is called the Soulmate Equation. And Book Two is the True Love Experiment.

 

Book one is kind of a twist on what a dating app using DNA could look like. Um Of course, there’s you’re gonna meet all the characters and stuff in book one and then book two is about finding your mate kind of through that, like Bachelorette, sort of type of TV series. But you’re going to be hoping that things don’t go as planned. Both of these books. I gave four out of five stars. They’re perfect escape reads. If this is your thing, I hope you enjoyed them too.

 

I will link to them in the show notes. Favorite thing that I want to share for you in this episode is a little thing that fits in the palm of my hand. It’s a portable white noise machine that is chargeable and I don’t use it every night. It’s situational for me, but you could use it every night. It’s noise canceling. I particularly like it in a sleep situation. You could use it in other situations as well. The one that I use has three different natural sound settings.

 

It’s great for sleeping in a room with other people. Like if you’re sharing it on a weekend away somewhere and you wanna, you worry about you snoring or other people snoring for a hospital setting, it could drown out a lot of those noises or other strange places where you’re not used to sleeping or if you just have difficulty falling asleep to get your mind to settle. I will link to that in the show notes. If that’s something that you could find useful for you.

 

Let’s meet today’s caregiver in the spotlight. Heather Henderson is what I’m calling a boomerang family caregiver since she has moved in with her mom to be her primary caregiver. At various times in her life, Heather initially became a primary caregiver overnight in two, 2003, when her parents were in a fatal car accident, her dad didn’t survive and her mom was seriously injured. She moved home to care for mom until she was fully recovered. Then 15 years later, Heather became her mom’s primary caregiver. Again, moved back in with her while working two jobs. In this episode of the podcast, we discussed the joint joys that she and her mom shared how volunteering and cat videos have helped Heather heal since caring for her mom has ended how her clean skin care business got started and how fitness classes in all the phases of her life have kept her grounded and connected to others. Enjoy the show.

 

Welcome Heather to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast. Hi. Thank you so much for having me, Elizabeth. I really appreciate it. I’m excited to have you. And for those who are watching the video, we get to see Orion in the background, uh hanging out in the sun. Uh, definitely, um, we can take some, I think we can take some self care strategies from our pets. They really show us how to do things, right. Yes. Yes. And you know what? He’s always with me whenever I’m working, he, you know, he’s with me and um he does show me sometimes I need to take a minute and just stretch a little bit. Yeah.

 

Or they’ll come nudge you. Like my dogs will be like, hello. We’re here. Do you see? Yes. Pay attention to me, love me. Um, all of that. Um, well, perfect. I like to kick off the show with some words of encouragement. Inspiration from the happy, healthy, caregiver, Jar Heather. So, let’s see what we’ve got here today for your episode. Ok. Ok. It says there’s a reason the rear view mirror is small and the windshield is so big where you’re headed is much more important than what you’ve left behind.

 

Oh, I love that. Yeah, I love a visual reminder of like the past is hard and traumatic in many ways and yet we’ve got a lot to look forward to in the future. Hm. Well, let’s get into your caregiving story, Heather. Like you’re, you did have a, um, an abrupt and traumatic start to caregiving. Tell us a little bit about what happened in your own words in, in 2003. That really said you are a caregiver, Heather. Yeah. You know, uh, in 2003, my parents were in a really bad car accident and unfortunately, my dad did not survive.

 

Um, my mom was very badly injured and, you know, you get that phone call, um, from the hospital saying, hey, we need you to come down as quickly as you can, you know, and the hospital was an hour away. So I gathered my brother and sister and we all got down to the hospital and from that moment I was a caregiver, you know, all of a sudden I felt the pressure of caring for my family because my dad was really the person, you know, he was the center and to have him taken so quickly, it was such a shock.

 

But then to have to deal with our mom being in the hospital planning a funeral, um, you know, getting her from the hospital to the rehab and then getting her out of rehab and getting her home. So that was a big shock. At the time I had moved from Manhattan. Uh I had left finance and I was working as a teacher actually uh at a Catholic school in New Jersey. And so, um I was able to move back home to my mom’s house. We set up a room downstairs for her and just really, you know, from having to learn how to walk to feed herself, um because she had broken so many bones.

 

So it was really a process. And you think that, ok, six months later because it happened in June and by Christmas, you would think she was, you know, perfectly healthy again. But um, there were moments like making Christmas cookies where she didn’t have the strength in her hands to mix the dough that was kind of an eye opener. But I will say that my mom was my hero because she lost the love of her life in an instant. Um, they were married 44 years and she really, you know, wanted to get back up and keep going and she, uh met Arnie who was a rocket scientist and they got married and had 10 years together.

 

Uh, and then, um she was his caregiver for the last couple of years of his life, which was eight years ago. And then five years ago I was, or for five years, I was her caregiver. After Arnie passed, she kind of lost her way because she like taking care of someone. And we kind of felt like we, she was down in Florida. I was up in New Jersey, my sister in New Jersey and my brother too and we all kind of felt like we didn’t want her to be alone because she was starting to get a little forgetful.

 

She was a diabetic and could have really low blood sugars that happened very quickly. So we really, even though we got her, you know, the life alert thing in case she fell, we just didn’t think she should be by herself. So, um, I was lucky enough to do my first snowbirding year of going down to Florida to spend the winter months with her and then we came back up to New Jersey for the summer. And then, um, I think COVID happened, he was really kind of feeling like she didn’t want to be far away because she kept feeling like she didn’t know how long she had kind of thing.

 

She felt like she couldn’t see very well. She, um, she would fall, she couldn’t hear very well. So she wanted to be close to her family and then COVID happened. So then we were really happy that we were all together. Yeah. Um, and I will say for me, the one thing with COVID, even though I had been taking care of my mom, I was still running around. I was going back and forth to New York. I was getting my nails done. I was going to the gym.

 

I was doing things. I was going places, I was having dinner with friends and with COVID, it really made me stop and slow down. And so we had some really beautiful times having coffee in the morning, um, you know, dinner at night watching the Yankees because it needed to be something that it was easy for her to follow. Um, so there were really beautiful moments that we wouldn’t have had if I was running all the time. But one interesting thing, um, I have always been a person to work out early in the morning.

 

I get to the gym at 6 a.m. and I work with a bunch of people. It’s, um, it’s personal training, but it’s a group. So, uh, you get to know people and you have, um, you know, really good friendships. And so even during COVID, they had to stop for a brief period, but then they opened the gym. So that first we were outside, they would do little pods with equipment. Um So we were still getting that community, which I think is so important, but you still had your workout, you still were able to do that.

 

Um Then we moved inside in the gym and we had our little pods and then at one point we had to wear masks and that was, that was a little tough. But you know what, we were together, we got to work out and it was great and we were helping our friend who had his business because we also wanted to help him, you know, sustain his business. Um And then really just at the end when I felt like my mom couldn’t be alone, that’s when I stopped going to the gym.

 

But then I did yoga online. Yeah. Well, listen, caregivers are so creative, but there’s so much in what you said, first of all, like, you know, the traumatic and um initiation to caregiving with your dad passing away. And you know, when you’re telling your story, I, I see the compassion and the empathy that you had for your mom. And yet you are also in this situation where all of these things happen to you as well. So to grieve the loss of your dad while also trying to navigate care for your mom, which, you know, my dad didn’t pass in a car accident but it was like a sudden decline at the end for him.

 

And I, I can relate to that. Like, like, I don’t know about you, Heather, but I look back and I’m like, how did we get through that? You know what? You, you just keep going, you know, you’re just taking it every day, one day at a time because if you try to look too far in the future, it’s just overwhelming. So you can really only take it in small bites. And that’s why it’s super important to do things for yourself, you know, to make sure that you’re getting the little bit of care that you need um like going to the gym or taking a walk or being in nature or having a good cup of coffee, you know, and I miss the, I miss the coffee chats with mom.

 

You mentioned that like it’s the little rituals of the things that, that, you know, that I miss the most that are and, and I also feel, I don’t know if you feel this way heather but had this not happened, have these um you know, situations on him where we cared, maybe we wouldn’t have spent as much time with them. That that’s it. You know, I, I do feel like there’s a path and a plan, you know, and you have to navigate it. I feel so fortunate that I was able to spend so much time with my mom.

 

Um at the, you know, the last couple of months of her life, we were trying very hard to get hospice care because we felt like she needed that care. We were doing it at home. Uh This was post COVID. We were doing it at home but um trying to get her into hospice was such a challenge. We had to fight people and um it was only the second time that she was in the hospital that we finally got people to say, OK, yes, she’s ready for her hospital.

 

You need a professional to kind of initiate it and which can be so frustrating and yet it is a way for caregivers to get more, more help and support and to help centralize the, the the care, the management of, of it. Um because they, you know, I was just having this conversation actually in a, in a daughter circle that I lead. Um we were talking about hospice because I feel like there’s so much education around it where people have this belief that it’s, you know, right at the end of life.

 

And yet there are many situations where people are on hospice for years, you do have to get re evaluated. There is something that this is not curable that there, you know, want to be. Um you’re no longer trying to like do things to prolong their life, but to make them comfortable, but all the supplies, the nurse, the, it’s the medication and all that kind of stuff. So, interestingly enough after my mom passed, I started volunteering at this hospice and I feel like it really helped me with my grief because I feel like the love that I was giving to my mom, I can now give to the people in hospice.

 

And, uh, I, I find it beautiful. There are some people that are there for a long period of time. There are some people that are there for a very short period of time. There are moments that you run into a family member who just really needs to talk and because you’ve been through it, you can, you can really emp emphasize and I’m sorry, I can’t empathize and um you know what they’re going through, you know, and, and when they can talk to somebody who’s been through it, I think it’s really helpful.

 

What do you think it is about this caregiving experience where we’re like, we, we go through it and we need, we feel this like urge to pay it forward and help somebody else. I think part of it is, I think it’s just part of your makeup, this whole caregiving. It’s like a gene, you know, and I think that um once you’ve been through it, um I think you, you take that energy and you wanna keep working with it. Um I, I really think that it has helped me more than I help other people.

 

I really feel that I get so much out of it. Um, so one thing that we do at hospice, I started cooking night, uh, we have this amazing woman and her son for many years did, uh, ice cream, Sunday, Tuesdays. And so they go around with ice cream and I thought, wouldn’t it be nice to have a warm cookie? So, um, I talked to the chef and unfortunately I thought I could make the cookies at home. We actually make the cookies. We bake them off in the hospice.

 

So that when we come around we have a nice hot cookie, a warm cookie and not every patient can have it, but their family members can or the staff. And so everyone really looks forward to this warm cookie. We have milk if they want it or, or water. And it’s such a simple thing, but it’s such a beautiful thing, you know. Yeah. Absolute. I mean, my dad was in the hospice. We’ve, we’ve had different situations of hospice but his was what, you know, a quick kind of week.

 

It was a quick to kind of decline and we had a big end of life celebration while he was still living. And the hospice workers, in fact, interestingly, like, one of them was named Sunny. Like, I still remember, I know we’re going to get into that conversation but, like, just I can see him. I can see this volunteer. So you just, you know, you don’t know the impact that you’re maybe you do know the impact that you’re making in, in family side. But we had wine, we had cake, we had, you know, we told stories and we had Facetimed family members in there.

 

So and they had made the comments like we wish other people would, you know, do this. So it’s not this like somber. I mean, there’s different types of hospice, right? Home hospice, a hospice community center. It sounds like what um what is the name of your hospice? Well, we’ll be sure to t um center for Hope Hospice Center for Hope in, in, where is this place in Scotch Plains, New Jersey? And they also have a facility in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Nice. Yes. So, yeah, a lot of like myths, I think with hospice and it, you know, I also have a great resource that I’ll put in the show notes to where someone is.

 

Uh they offer a complimentary hospice, Navigator call. So it’s like you just have if you’re confused about it and just kind of want to like no judgment, talk to somebody. Um Helen Bauer who’s been on the show before, uh offers that to caregivers to be able to just kind of talk to them. I don’t know what to call you exactly Heather, but I feel like a boomerang caregiver like you have been like a car and then you’ve got to come back and, and done some things on your own and then here you are, you know, caring again and potentially there will be future scenarios, you know, we have siblings and family members. Exactly. Exactly.

 

I don’t know what it is. I, I really do believe it’s this path that you’re on and, you know, I do the caregiving when it’s needed and then I can kinda go back to my own thing and then, you know, step back in where it’s needed. So I, I think it’s so much a part of me that I can’t imagine not doing it. It’s in your DNA. Yeah. What, how have you been able to, like, financially sustain some of these big waves of care? Um, I’m lucky that, uh, I worked in finance for a long time.

 

That’s where I spent the bulk of my career. Um, so I was able to put money away. Um, I’m living in the house that I grew up in. So that was paid for, I don’t have to pay for anything except utilities and taxes. Nice. Um, so I’ve been very fortunate that way. I, I laugh because I say the only place I actually made money was when I worked in finance, everything else and I’ve done a million different jobs but everything else. I haven’t made any money. I, it’s relatable.

 

I, um, and I know that you, you know, you had shared a story with me, like when you were caring for your mom. Um that reminded me of an activity of a workshop. I do, we do something called a joint joy list. Um where you make a list of the things that bring you joy as a caregiver and then the care recipient and working with them, the things that joy and then where you overlap are like these joint joys. Yeah. And, and you shared something with me of ways that you and your mom kind of did, did this type of stuff.

 

What were some of your joint joys that you had with your mom? Well, one thing that really stands out, we love to watch the birds and the squirrels and all that, all the little animals. So, um, even from the beginning, I mean, we used to have, uh, we used to have skunks that we used to walk through the yard and we would just get up and look and watch them walk through the yard. They’re adorable. As long as they’re not spraying you, they’re great. But we used to do this thing that every afternoon we would feed the birds and that they would wait for us, the birds, the squirt, the chipmunks.

 

Um, we’ve had deer come in the yard, um, beautiful. So it was really nice to just go out and feed them and then sit back in the, in the, um, what we call the great room, which is a really big sunny room and just watch them come and feed and to see all the different birds. I love the outdoors. I think it’s something that I really need. I always have the windows open. Um, I like to walk in the backyard and my bare feet just to feel the grass.

 

You know, I, I’m an early morning person so I, you know, my mom was also an early morning person so we would, you know, mid-morning have our little coffee break. Um, we just spend a lot of time together. Yeah, I’m with you on the outdoor stuff. I, I wish we could keep our windows open. We, I live in, outside of Atlanta. It’s too hot or something. And my two of the people in my family have allergies. So we, we live in a closed window house but we have a fabulous screened in porch and I, um, I’m sure to utilize that and to get outside that way.

 

But I figured that out very quickly how much energy I get from being outdoors in nature. So beautiful. And, you know, you’ve had a kind of a care team too with your mom too. Talk about like what your care team is, look like with my sister. Yeah. Yeah. So, I am super fortunate to have a twin sister and, um, we’re very, very close and my brother who I work for, he’s a veterinarian. I work for him, but a lot of times he couldn’t come and care because, um, he was working, you know, he owns the business.

 

So, um, but my sister is my best friend and, um, you know, my total teammate when I was going back to work for my brother and I had to be in the office. My sister would come and watch over my mom and make sure, you know, her sugar was stable and that kind of thing. So, um, the last week when my mom was home, um, my sister and my brother-in-law were just with me almost around the clock. And, um, what we were doing was, uh, because we were doing hospice at home.

 

My, um, we would do a schedule of when she needed to get her medications and, and it was funny because the one night my brother-in-law was gonna take a shift by himself. I stayed up later, so he wouldn’t be by himself and then my sister got up earlier so he wouldn’t be by himself. So, you know, we are just a very close family and, um, that support, I think I am very, very grateful to the support that I had. I totally understand. And, you know, I, I meet solo caregivers all the time and they’ve got to be extra creative to figure out how they can find their family.

 

They’re like friends that can be like family, neighbors, you know, cousins, aunts, uncles, um people in the community. But it, it’s, it’s, um, family is definitely a big source of help. For many of us, sometimes they’re not a lot of help and that can be frustrating too. Um, and I think, you know, you talk about your mom being diabetic and I can relate to that. My mom was diabetic and one of the challenges we had was just trying to get to, to have people come and care for her.

 

So that, you know, she lives, lived in a sister living near me for a while, but then lived with my sister in rural Michigan and, you know, home care wasn’t really a fit for that because they could not give her her, um, insulin medication and she needed that like, every meal time and then at night time. So it was so frustrating to not be able to leave and hire in professional help. So you’re really relying on friends and family in that case for, for respite. Well, I also think, um, that’s absolutely true.

 

And I also think it’s hard to find caregivers. I think it’s hard to find paid caregivers. I see, even at the hospice that, um, it’s hard to get nurses in. It’s hard to get A I DS in, you know, and I think that’s something that’s going to increase as, as we all age, you know, because we’re going to have a huge older population and there are gonna be fewer people there to cure already there. Yeah. I mean, there’s already 12,000 baby boomers turning 65 now that doesn’t mean they’re that synonymous with disease, but we’re outnumbered.

 

Uh, and it’s, and care workers, you know, are underpaid and there’s lots of turnover there. It’s so, it’s, it’s a really difficult, um, situation that in and then that’s where this unpaid invisible labor of what we’re doing as family caregivers comes into play and not everybody has the financial situation that you had and that I, that we had in our family. Like, it’s a huge strain for families um to be able to do that dur during this phase. Heather, like how you, you talked about maybe it was because you were in this boomerang phases of care that you had like some habits, some self-care habits for him.

 

But what did you, how did you self talk? How did you try to kind of keep some of those habits going when you were like deep in the throes of caregiving or did you have to make switch things up a little bit? I think for me, I’ve been working out for so long that it’s just a part of my routine. So I found the time it has to be early in the morning because if it’s not early in the morning, then my day starts and I’ve got things going on.

 

I get interrupted. I was never the kind of person who could come home from work and then go back out and go to the gym once I sit down, that’s it. I’m done. Um you know, but I know that about myself. So I know that what’s important to me is to get my butt out of bed, even when it’s dark and I don’t feel like it to get out of bed and get to the gym. Um, that’s super important to me. Um I also think for us cooking is very important.

 

You know, when I grew up, we were always in the kitchen with my mom. You know, she would be cooking my sister and I would be sitting with her talking with her. So being in the kitchen is a big deal. Having my family close is great because we get together for meals and, you know, uh I think that’s super important. Um Other habits. I don’t know, I think, I think I was just kind of in a routine. Um but I will tell you certain things, my faith is very strong.

 

And so that really helped me through a lot of, a lot of things when my mom would take a nap, I would pray the rosary. So that was kind of my way. It was a little bit meditative for me. I find it very intimate when I’m doing the rosary. I know a lot of people do it at church and they do it in big groups. I like to do it just by myself. It’s a very intimate experience and um it’s very meditative. Um It would give me time to rest, but when you have a loved one, you’re always, it’s like a child.

 

You’re always listening. Are they getting up? Are they doing something? Do I need to run and check on them? So, I do think that the, the time I spent doing the rosary really helped me and you say after my mom passed, I kind of got out of that habit and I’m getting back into that now and I, I think it’s normal, yeah, normal for like some practices that we need in certain times to be different. Um, I, the rosary is, um, and we have that in common.

 

I was raised Catholic and, um, I have some fabulous rosaries that have been passed down from um, some of my elders and my family and i it’s a, it’s a good form of like spiritual self care and also emotional self care because it really, you have to be in the present, you know, and like you said, you don’t have to put a, it’s very meditative. You don’t have to think about what you’re gonna do. I’m gonna put a link on how people can learn to pray the rosary if they’re like, I have no idea how to do this.

 

Um We can certainly do that. But I, when you’re talking about how that habit was good for you while caregiving. Same for me with journaling, which is why I wrote that journal because journaling was a big part of my life. Like I had to kind of sit and process everything that was going on and park it out of my head and just, you know, sometimes the tears would stream down my face, but just writing things out really was super healing for me. And I don’t do a lot of journaling anymore.

 

You know, I’ve kind of evolved into different self care practices and I may go back and, and, you know, revisit that one or maybe it takes on a different look and I’ll do some art journaling or things like that. But I think it’s important to kind of have this toolbox of self care tools that, you know, work for you in certain situations so that you can go in and kind of pick out, pick out what you need when you need it. Right. Right. And you’ve got, you’ve got some great ones there.

 

I wanna talk about your, um, the, the, your, your business that you have the chance of Sunny. You’re the founder of Chance of Sunny. A personal care brand uses plant based ingredients and essential oils to calm and soothe the mind and body. It sounds like something definitely caregivers could use. But how did this come about for you? You know, it’s funny that you talked about me being a boomerang caregiver because there was one little window of opportunity that I could take classes to learn how to make these products.

 

Ok. So originally I was in the shower, I was looking at my shower gel and I realized there was not one ingredient that I could pronounce. And I thought, what am I putting on my body? One of the things I always hated was when you found a scent that you really liked and then the company either discontinued it or they changed it and it wasn’t the same. I thought, you know what, I’m going to make my own. I like bath and body works is really and they’re probably, they probably got a lot of, a lot of the ingredients that we, that we don’t know what’s in it and then we get attached to some set and they move on.

 

So, yeah, that’s exactly what I was using. So, so I decided I was gonna go to school for aromatherapy. Um I didn’t realize that aromatherapy and natural perfumery were two totally different things. Um, but I fell in love with the healing properties of aromatherapy. I learned so much about plants and essential oils and what they do and how they help you and how there are many oils that have the same healing properties. But scent is so subjective that you may love a scent that I don’t like or I may love something and you don’t like it, but they are both healing.

 

So from there, I found Amy Galper who had a school in New York. Um, and I spent a couple of weeks learning how to make lotions and creams and oils and all these beautiful products. And then I spent a couple of years making them and handing them out to friends and family. Nice to see what they liked, what they liked on their skin. It’s really cute because my mom was part of the process. Um, I would be making things in my kitchen and then, uh, she would be doing my dishes and, um, and then she would try all the products, which is cute and I would get her opinion.

 

What did she like? What didn’t she like? Um, so, so, uh, so she’s definitely a part of it, but it’s been a process, you know, it’s been a couple of years. I work for my brother who’s a veterinarian. So I really created these products for people that work in the veterinary industry because they give so much, um, you know, they’re, they’re a little introverted. So this is a good way to give them something that is nice for their skin. Um, and so it’s kind of just more from there.

 

I mean, I had some great products that I thought were amazing but when I gave them out to people, they’re like, uh, not so much. I had a lip scrub that I thought was awesome. And people are like, yeah, no, thank you. Well, I mean, good to have those people in your life who will tell you your, their honest opinion about stuff. Um, and, you know, I’ve tried your products and I’ve tried the, some of the lavender ones. First of all, I have one here. It’s called Chance of Sunny.

 

Is your branding out that people can see that. And this is the head to toe oil that, um, you know, still has a long way to go because I’ve used all of the cream. I didn’t have the citrus one, but what I love about this oil is my husband has this weird pet peeve of, he hates dry elbows. Um, so, and I like at night is kind of when I want to put this lavender oil on. But then I thought, oh, I’ll get it all over my fingers.

 

And then what if I touch my book and my stuff? So I have found this system where I put it on my palm or the back of my hand and then I rub my elbow and I do that on each side. And so the, the tops of my hands are soft, the elbows are soft and I can smell the lavender. So that’s been my new little ritual. Oh, nice. Well, one nice thing to do is when you’re coming out of the shower and your skin is damp.

 

If you have time, I like to do a shower at night and then I like to mix the oil and the lotion together. But you can also just do the oil or the lotion and I like to just put it on and then sit you know, be in my pajamas and just kind of hang out and relax and let it all absorb in. I did pick oils that are fast absorbing, but it’s not gonna absorb instantaneously. You do need to give yourself a few minutes to just let it absorb.

 

But um, it keeps your skin super soft and um, again, natural ingredients. Um but it’s great because it’s really good for sensitive skin. Um either the lavender or the fragrance free. And um we find that some people don’t like scent at all. But the idea of using essential oils is that it really is calming and soothing. So if you can just inhale it, you can get that mu kind of just, you know, relaxation. Um Black is really well known for being a nerve oil, which means that when it hits your central nervous system, you really do get that rest and digest moment. Nice.

 

Yeah, aromatherapy. Like when I was caregiving I and blogging and putting social posts and trying to be held accountable for my self care practices. I would try on a lot of different things like people try on clothes and aromatherapy was one of my paths that I took. I got a diffuser. I had a lot of the different oils I was experimenting with what made me feel and it was like one of those little tiny micro acts that you can do in your day that can energize you that can calm and soothe and, and all of these things.

 

So, depending on, on what you needed. And so I have, yeah, roller balls and things at my desk. Amazing how much it helps. You know, sometimes, um, when I’ve been formulating because I do create all my formulas. So sometimes when I’m working on a, um, a new scent, I’m using my oils and a drop will get on something, a piece of paper or not pa or tissue and I’ll forget about it and then I’ll move some papers and, and I’ll just get that little scent and you can really feel your body relax.

 

I just love it. I love it too. I love this. I’m more of a citrus girl. A bergamot like Bergamot. I don’t even know how you say that. But um yeah, there’s so many good things out there. Uh I love that you, that this is something that you did with your mom too and it connected with that and um it’s, it’s wonderful. We’re gonna of course, link to the website so people can, can check out the stuff. So, are you ready, Sonny for the lightning round? Ok. Let me ask you a couple questions from the Just for you daily self care journal.

 

Um Oh, this is an interesting question. If it’s your last night on earth, what would your last supper look like? We play this around the campfire in my family. I don’t know if we’re kind of like weird. But that’s something we always, first of all, I would have a really good wine because I like my wine red or white. Um, I can go either way, but I’m thinking red. Ok. Um, and maybe a really good steak because I don’t make that very often. So, if I, um, one of my favorite restaurants is Smith and Wollensky in, in the city, they have a number of, um, locations but I just love the way they cook their steak.

 

I don’t know what they do, but I love it. So it would probably be a Smith and Wollensky uh, New York strip with a really good glass of red wine. Yum Yum. That sounds great. Any dessert? Um mm. Maybe chocolate ice cream. Like a really good chocolate ice cream. Yeah, that sounds lovely. Perfect. Um ok. Next question. What do you crave in your life that doesn’t exist today? Oh, my gosh. Ok. What I really crave is I wanna be able to snap my fingers and get to wherever I need to be.

 

I, I don’t want to have to be at the airport three hours early. I just want to snap my finger teleport. I wish we could tell. I wish that so much when I was caregiving and for a distance from mom and even now, like my sister is still in Michigan. I’ve got a sister in the DC area. Like, yeah, let’s just snap and go. My daughter’s in Chicago. Um yeah, there’s, we’re all too spread out. Yeah. Are there any social media accounts that you follow that just kind of lift you up?

 

Ok, so I am a sucker. I, I know this is you’re asking for a deep, no, I’m not, it’s whatever comes to mind, it’s not lighting. I love cat videos. I don’t know what I love cat videos. I love cats obviously. Um but um there’s an account where you can kind of like go and see all the cat videos. Beagle bits. I think it is. Um and also uh I just love when they show their little toe beans, there’s something really, there’s something really relaxing about cat toast.

 

I don’t know what it is. Their paws. Oh, that’s so sweet. Um Well, listen, you’re not alone. I think a lot of people like cat videos. I know my hus I did a whole like little Instagram reel. I’ll see if I can find it. It still makes me laugh um with my husband like sometimes instead of watching funny videos on Instagram, I can just watch my husband watch stuff and he makes me laugh like what sitting next to him and like what in the world are you watching?

 

So I have, I have this whole video of him like laughing at videos and his laugh is kind of infectious. And then um there’s another video that comes where it looks like a golf ball is coming to his face and he tosses his phone and that just made us laugh even harder. So, I’m just shocked that I got it on video. But he watches Golden Doodle. We have a golden, I love that. Yeah, he watches Golden Do. And our doodle’s name is Sony. Sunny sun. There’s a lot of sunny chance is sunny, sunny, the hospice guy.

 

Sunny, the golden doodle. Um, sunny sunshine. We call her. Yeah. And we have a Shih Tzu too. But, oh, nice. They’re fun. They’re funny and fun. So, I don’t think you’re alone. Pets are. Pets are great. Um, ok, let’s see here. Well, you look like you sound like a person who tries a lot of new things. So let’s give you this question. It says something people say, which helps them be happier or healthier that maybe you’ve never tried is what? Hm. Ok. So I’m gonna say aerial yoga. Interesting.

 

Is that the one where they get on the ribbon? Oh, no, that’s, um, silks. And I will just, I will just go back a little bit and tell you one thing that I used to do when I lived in Manhattan, it’s called um, ST Static Trapeze. And if I could live my life over and run away and join the circus, that’s what I would do. So, static Trapeze is not flying trapeze across the room, it’s like 8 ft off the ground and you do tricks. And so my teacher was Lorelai, Ash and she is down and she has something called, oh, my gosh.

 

Um, I can’t remember the name of her company. It’s ok. But when it comes to you, you can always send it to me later and I’ll add it to the show notes. Ok. Um, gravity defined fitness. It’s called. And so she taught us how to climb ropes, which I had never done and to get on a trapeze and to do all kinds of tricks. And I have a really bad fear of heights except when I’m on a trapeze. Interesting. I’m a situational height person too though. I am like certain things.

 

I’m like, yeah, no problem. Other things, I’m like, this is terrifying. Yeah, I’ve never heard of this ST static, static and um and using it for fitness and then a aerial yoga. What is that aerial yoga? Um I guess it could be with some of the, it’s like they have like, like almost hammocks that they hang in and maybe there’s like the ribbon that you were talking about. I don’t know, I was talking about the, like the they call them silks or tissues that you can climb up and do all these tricks.

 

I would like to be more flexible and yes, it is fun. Like I love working out when you’re not even realizing that you’re working out and strength training. So I can see that this would be a lot of fun. I, I’m not aware of anything around me like this in Atlanta. Um, I do hot works. That’s kind of the hot yoga, hot Pilates, hot hot bar. There’s no bar but they call it. Um, there’s no bar but use the wall. Uh, but I love, yeah, doing different things.

 

We just got new E bikes, so I’m having fun enjoying those and, yeah, I like, I think it’s good to, again get outside, staying active. Um, has definitely been something that I’ve embraced after watching my family, my parents and you know, what was kind of their Achilles heel was the, was their sedentary lifestyle. So that, that’s not happening here. Good. Yes. So I love that. Thank you for, for sharing and playing the lightning round. Is there anything else Heather that you wish that we had touched on as part of this?

 

Um Any parting words for family caregivers, I think, you know, just advocate for your family, advocate for yourself. Um You know, and, and just try to enjoy every moment because uh it, it just goes too quickly. I love how when you’re talking about advocating I inspector like self bathing, it’s like we couldn’t have time that that any better for the the video. How do people stay in touch with you? Um They can reach out at Heather at uh Heather at chance of Heather Chance of Sunny at gmail.com.

 

Um They can check out my website Chance of sunny.com. They can check out Instagram, Chance of Sunny underscore um Yeah, we’re gonna link to all of that stuff. So, thank you so much for sharing this conversation and, and walking us through the story and, and the great things that you have um now that you’re after care, giving his ends for this boomerang, the things that you’re doing with Chance of Sunny and also with your hospice volunteers. It’s really, really good healing stuff there. Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m really enjoying this.

 

Hello, podcast listener. If you’re caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia, you don’t want to miss all’s authors podcast. Untangling Alzheimer’s and Dementia. I’m your host, Mary Anne Shuo, a registered nurse author and dementia daughter. In each episode, I interview one of our 300 plus authors about their personal dementia story and why they chose to write about it, sharing intimate details and painfully obtained not to help you on your own journey. We share a variety of stories across all diagnoses and from a range of caregiving experiences, you can find us on your favorite podcast platform on the whole care network. Remember you are not alone, one can sing a lonely song, but we chose to form a choir and create harmony. Find us at all. Authors.com. See you soon.

 

Thanks for joining us today on the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast on the whole care network. As always show notes that a company today’s episode can be found on my website Happy Healthy caregiver. com just look under the podcast menu for today’s episode image. And that will take you to the page with the links and information we spoke about today.

 

You’ll also find other resources on the website along with links to purchase the just for you daily self care journal. When you purchase from my website, you’ll get a signed copy and for a limited time free shipping. If you’ve enjoyed what you heard today, consider subscribing to the show on your podcast platform. It really helps other family caregivers find the podcast and you’ll automatically receive our biweekly shows in your podcast listening queue. Maybe while you’re subscribing, consider leaving a five star rating and review or just simply talk it up on your social channels. Let’s stay connected. I’m on Instagram and Facebook as Happy healthy caregiver. And until we meet again, please take care of you.

 

This is the whole care network helping you tell your story, one podcast at a time.