This is the whole care network helping you tell your story. One podcast at a time content presented in the following podcast is for information purposes, only views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the host and guest and may not represent the views and opinions of the whole care network. Always consult with your physician for any medical advice and always consult with your attorney for any legal advice. And thank you for listening to the whole care network.

 

I mean, music is a therapeutic healing experience and that’s really where the journey began.

 

Caring for aging parents or other loved ones while working, raising Children and trying to live your own life, wondering how to find the time for your personal health and happiness. Well, you’re in the right place. Welcome to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast to show where real family caregivers share how to be happy and healthy while caring for others. Now, here’s your host, Family Caregiver and Certified Caregiving consultant, Elizabeth Miller.

 

Hi, and welcome to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast, which is part of the whole care network. If this is your first time listening, I am so glad you are here. This is a show produced biweekly to help family caregivers integrate self care and caregiving into their lives.

 

And I’m excited that we are also part of the whole care network radio show. So if you want to check out streaming radio, you can find the link in the show notes for that. Our guests today, Anthony are both fellow podcasters and contributors for the whole care network. Each of our episodes has an accompanying show notes page. So if you’d like more details about the topics, products and resources we speak about or you want to see more photos, you’ll find the show notes by going on the website Happy Healthy caregiver.

 

com under the podcast menu. Click the image or the episode number for today’s show. We’re also gonna put the link to the show notes in your podcast description on whatever podcast platform you’re listening to this on Come Cruise with me and some of my fellow care advocates in October of 2025. We’ve planned this respite filled self care at sea cruise with family caregivers in mind. And we’ve tried to remove a few of the barriers that we know caregivers may have. We’re giving you lots of notice so that you can make a plan for your care recipient to have backup care, an affordable rate with a payment plan option and just enough activities that you can connect with your caregiving community without interrupting all the rest in the fun that we know that you need.

 

It’s going to be happening on Norwegians cruise on their boat called Aqua and we’re going to go to some great designations, Dominican Republic, the US and British Virgin Islands and the Bahamas. I hope you’ll make memories with us on the self care at sea cruise in the fall of 2025. You’re not only going to get that much needed vacation and that energizing vacation, but you’re gonna return home with a lifeline of support and community. Learn more at bit dot Lee forward slash HHC self care cruise. I’m gonna link to it also in the show notes.

 

And if you do decide to book, don’t forget to choose happy, healthy caregiver as the answer for the question, how you heard about the cruise. By the way, if your business look to become a sponsor for the special self care at sea crew, reach out to me and I can share those opportunities. I’d like to thank our episode sponsor, The Caregivers Journey. My friends, Sue Ryan and Nancy Trista host a podcast for dementia caregivers called the Caregivers Journey. It’s innovative and refreshing with a focus on tackling day to day dementia caregiving challenges.

 

They use practical tips and candid conversations to help you navigate caregiving ups and downs so you can move from feeling frustrated and overwhelmed to confident and supported. Check it out at the Caregivers journey. com for this episode segment of what I’m reading. I finished a book called, did you hear about Kitty Carr by Crystal Smith Paul. When Kitty Carr Tate, a white icon of the silver screen dies and bequests her multimillion dollar estate to the ST sisters, three young wealthy black women. It prompts a lot of questions.

 

Lots, lots of questions. The truth behind Kitty’s ascent to stardom from her beginnings in the segregated south threatens to expose a web of unexpected family ties, debts, owned and debatable crimes that could with just one little teeny tiny pole unravel the all American fabric of the ST John sisters and those closest to them, I gave it four out of five stars. And if you’d like to check it out, I’ll link to it in the show notes. My favorite thing this week is another network recommendation, but this one really complements the theme in this podcast, which I think is all about aging.

 

Well, I’d like you to check out a show called the Green Glove Gang on Netflix. The plot involves three older adult women who are burglars and hide out in a senior care home. But the plot really thickens note that this is originally a Polish series. So it is dubbed in English on Netflix. I enjoyed the season. I look forward to more seasons of it. And I think this would have been a series that my mom and I would have made our show a link to it in the show notes.

 

Let’s meet today’s caregiver in the spotlight, Anthony Cirillo cared for several family members and these experiences prompted him to focus his professional career on helping older adults and advocating for seniors and their caregivers through singing, speaking consulting and writing. In this episode, we learn about Anthony’s New Legacy project and a product called Sage Stream which provides social engagement and entertainment for seniors using music. We also chat about everything else from laughter and social prescriptions to hospice and compound grief. Enjoy the show.

 

Hello, Anthony. Welcome to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast. Thanks, Elizabeth. I’m excited to be here and excited to see you again. It’s been a while. It’s been a while and then you think like, wow, it’s been a while. Like we’ve been doing this uh for a while now, this is uh 2020 15. Uh was when I started, I don’t know, when were, when did you get started in this space, Anthony? Uh before that. But uh we, we came in contact with each other, I think through my caregiver summit and we ran three of those. And so, uh that’s uh I think when I reached out to you and um you were doing virtual events before, I think a lot of people were, you know, before it was kind of cool, right?

 

When we learned during the pandemic, how much we could get done virtually. So, I appreciate you. Yeah, connecting with me that way. Well, we’d like to start the show with some words of encouragement from the happy, healthy caregiver jar. And I’d love to get your thoughts on today’s message. Uh These are just things, no, just things I’ve collected no wrong answers here. It says, I says, I love myself when I am laughing. And that’s a quote by an author and documentary filmmaker, Zora Neal Hurston. I’ve started like looking up because like sometimes we see these quotes and we’re like, who are these people?

 

You know, unless you’re, you know, Oprah or some commonly known. But I love myself when I am laughing. What are your thoughts on that? Well, it’s actually a timely, a timely quote because last night after the rush back, as I was telling you, I know this is time date and all that kind of stuff. But, uh I had a day yesterday in my life where we had to go to a funeral and come back. And so you’re feeling a little, you know, but we had a, there’s an event every year in Charlotte called Charlotte Squawks.

 

And it’s sort of like a Saturday Night Live. Uh but it’s, it spoofs everything local and national uh with parody songs and it never disappoints. So, uh I found myself hysterically laughing and, uh you know, the thing is you don’t get to do that a whole lot. You know, if you really think about like belly laughs, uncontrollable, letting yourself go. Uh And it’s a, it’s like a cleansing type of thing because, uh, and, and especially on a day like that when you’re trying to do that. So, if anything, I would say people, uh people need to laugh more.

 

In fact, I even talk about that in some of my, uh, keynotes about bringing more humor into your life. Yeah, I know. We take ourselves too seriously sometime and, you know, I appreciate, you know, you sharing that you were at a family grief event and thank you. Um Yeah, part we were talking before the show comes on and sadly, it’s part of the part of the circle of life. And I think in the work that we do, we hear and see a lot of more of it, but it’s when it strikes something personal that’s at a, at a whole, a whole new level.

 

And I’m glad that you Charlotte Squaw was there for you? Is that at like a physical place or is that a virtual thing that, ok, so you had tickets when, you know, after the whirlwind event? Oh, my goodness. Ok. Well, I will link to this theater in the show notes. Um And yeah, laughter is medicine, you know, went to a laughter yoga session once. Have you ever done that? I’ve, I’ve, I’ve written about them but I’ve never done that. We did one as part of our daughter, um when we were doing in person, daughter events in Atlanta and I didn’t know what to expect.

 

But, yeah, no movement. I don’t really know why they call it yoga. It’s just like, well, I guess you’re moving your belly muscles but it’s, it did work. It was everyone laughed in a much lighter, a lighter mood whenever you, yeah, you start out laughing but it’s all fake and then it really turns into like real laughter. Yeah. You see that how it’s really, is contagious to laugh. Um, well, I’d love for you to share a little bit about your caregiving journey with us, Anthony. Like, what is your personal caregiving story?

 

So my for I’ll back up even a little bit further. So everybody has their entry point into senior care caregiving, that kind of thing. So I was a professional in, in hospital administration and public relations and things like that. And, but I’ve always also been a musician throughout my life and um when I was in hospital work, I was gigging in nightclubs full time and got tired of that. And I was looking for an outlet for my uh music and my voice and um stumbled into a continuing care retirement community.

 

So, uh this was circa 1992 dating myself. But uh that’s kind of where in many respects I was a caregiver because I’ve really learned how to become a performer as opposed to just a musician on stage. Because in a band, you’re up there and you’re playing your instrument and you’re singing. Ok, that’s fine. But when you start singing for seniors in a different environment and you, you have the, you know, you let go of your instrument and you have backing tracks and you got a wireless microphone and you’re walking around.

 

I mean, music is a therapeutic healing experience. And that’s really where, where the journey began. Now, we did come into it, you know, so that was my entry, my interest in caregiving, of course, was based on personal circumstances. So, uh unfortunately, we’ve, we had a spurt from 2013 to 603 when we essentially lost five close family members like one after the other. So my, my sister passed, she was 10 years older than me unexpectedly, like, you know, lung cancer diagnosis. Uh December 17th, uh died January 14th. Uh My, my wife’s brother actually passed on December 212th, the day we learned of my wife’s and that was sudden and it was a crazy accident.

 

So all of a sudden, I had to move my mom from Florida where she was living with my sister and my brother-in-law, uh who has since passed as well. Uh But it became a really fast decaying family dynamic uh in terms of OK, when are you kind of, when are you getting there out of here? So I had to basically six weeks from the time of my sister’s memorial to figure out what we were doing with mom. And that was for January 225 and mom passed in June of 23.

 

Hard to believe that was eight years ago already. It’s crazy. So, uh, yeah, so that, and I had a caregiving experience. It was a little bit different than most. So, it was not an Alzheimer’s or dementia. Uh, my mom just had physical AMS and she was 23.5 when she passed and, uh, uh, you know, essentially she had CHF and COPD and things like that, but she was in an independent living community and, uh, you know, at the end had some, you know, we had some health, you know, home health come in but not a lot because you, you know, you probably hear this story all the time.

 

She couldn’t, she couldn’t tolerate, you know, whoever we sent in. So, uh you know, that was, that was kind of that. And then, you know, she had a, um, you know, a hospital incident and just really never came out of that. And, uh, you know, um if we, if we do have a chance, I, I just to speak of hospice because, um my, my, my mother had an amazing hospice experience in a, um a, a car, you know, in a residential kind of hospice. So it was a, you know, physical place that you went in.

 

She was only there. I think we counted the hours. She went on a Tuesday night and died on a Thursday night. So it was 26 something hours. It was, it was, and but it was in, in many ways, a magical ex, you know, emotional, spiritual ex experience because of uh the care she received. Um the people who stopped in that kind of thing. And um I’m, I’m finding that’s not always the case uh depending on where hospice is administered uh and things like that. So, uh but um you know, as a caregiver uh and end of life, uh if you find the right uh and it’s appropriate um hospice care just takes things to a different level.

 

And I appreciate you saying that and I, I have a friend and a fellow podcaster. Um Helen Bauer who offers some hospice navigation type of tips um and does an intro call there, so I’ll link to that so people can kind of learn more. But I think the best tips is word of mouth from, you know, what works for us. I’ve had great experiences with hospice for the various people in our lives and different scenarios, some in communities, some at home, some and a skilled nursing. So like, uh but I do think I appreciate you bringing it up because I think it is a underutilized research res resource rather um that people don’t hear about until later.

 

Um Was there anything that you were wishing you had gone in sooner? Like I know for our first experience we were like, wow, we didn’t know this. We would have come here a while back. No, because I’m connected to the community of healthcare providers here. I already knew of the place. In fact, they hold local healthcare meetings there every month actually. So I’d already been there. Um, so it’s weird when I go back there because I passed the room that she passed in. So that’s a, that’s a little strange.

 

But now she was in a situation where, um, you know, without getting, you know, they had to do a major surgery on her to, because her intestines became flipped and things and they had a, you know, it was a mess and it was one of those situations where six years before this is how the stamina and per persistence this woman had, she had a screw put in her neck to stabilize her spine at 2100. And she, we, we were taking bets. She’s not coming out of this surgery.

 

She did and she lives six more years. So when we put her in hospice, I actually had the conversation with the hospice folks to say, all right, I know all the things about hospice in terms of like, if she doesn’t, you know, because she might surprise us, you know, and then sometimes people come off of hospice and that’s, that’s ok too. And then what happens? And so my mother in law, in another case, she actually had the same thing. It was supposed to be a residential hospice really turned out more to be like a hospital hospice type setting wasn’t the best.

 

But in essentially she was kicked out because she was too healthy and went into his sister living and wasn’t there. But before days and then passed. So, um, we didn’t have a whole lot of, of, um, advanced notice that she was going to be sick and have the need this care. But it was becoming really evident. I mean, that, that’s the part where it breaks your heart because she started asking about questions like because some of her friends had moved into assisted living, she was an independent living and she said, do you think I can go where, where they’re at?

 

And I said, mom, it’s really up to you to, you know, see if you want to embrace your rehabilitation. But, you know, once we brought her a great way to phrase it like, hey, you can hold the cards and she did and she didn’t because, you know, once, once we weaned her of the, you know, 203 medications she was on, you know, the first night at hospice except she made us swear that we wouldn’t take her sleeping pills away. So, uh that’s part of care maybe for some, yeah, she literally did not wake up after that.

 

So, um I mean, I think she knew we were there. Uh and then my son flew in special just to see her. So, um yeah, we had no advance preparation, but I was aware of what existed and uh I knew she couldn’t stay in the hospital and get a hospice care because they were just itching to get her out type of thing. Um, that’s a, you know, that’s a shame of, of, uh, as well as that. Um, nobody seems to want anybody to pass on, on their watch. Right.

 

Um, nursing homes famously, if people fall or whatever, they won’t even try to pick them up or whatever, they’ll, they’ll, they’ll call it the emergency department. Um, so I think people as caregivers need to be aware of the rules and the regulations of each of the places you’re thinking about with mom and dad because we learned like, just from my daughter-in-law yesterday, the assisted living that her mom was in was just had a set of rules that you had to follow and that’s not always going to result in the best care.

 

So to understand some of those things going in, uh, would, would be AAA good thing. Yeah, I think that’s a benefit of like connecting with other caregivers and, um, and getting that support so that you can kind of learn from other people because it’s not really until you’re in the trenches, you can read about these things, right on, in the website or paper. Um, well, Anthony, you brought up so many different things. I, I wanted to ask like you had a, I don’t even know if this is a term, but I’m gonna call it compounded grief.

 

Like you’ve had, you had a really intense um section there of just grieving people, but also grieving your life change of like, need to take care of your, of your mother. Um You know, while still grieving and we’re always, still grieving, like it never ends. Like we’ve just, you know, brought up their anniversaries, my dad’s gonna be past 220 years, um this August and it’s like you just, you know, the grief comes apart. But how did you cope? Like, what helped you during this time of like, I’m calling it compounded grief and like navigating initially for mom and, and throughout that, like, what has helped you?

 

Well, um my, my, my partner in crime, my wife, you know, we’ve been together for, you know, 267 years. So we had to lean on each other. Then first her, you know, me on her and then in quick succession, her father passed. Um So my mom passed or my sister passed in January of of uh 2300. Her father passed in, in August of 14 and then my mom in 16 and then her mom in 18. So, and her mom was a pretty intense caregiving for her and her sisters, that kind of thing.

 

So, first of all that leaning on your partner is a great and you know, the other thing is, um you know, we do have a great life balance. We remember went to and we were talking before this about this uh you know, we, we take time to have our vacations or to getting away and uh those types of things. Um So that’s important. Of course, you know, I, I have a keynote that I give, I presumptuously call it the meaning of life. Um Because it’s the meaning of life.

 

Well, you know, after spending thousands of hours with um you know, elders in, in these communities and then I self published a book long ago now, 2003, 2004, it’s still on Amazon who moved my, who moved my dentures. Uh I’ll find it and link to it. The whole point of that was, you know, I was, I was, you know, taking off on who moved my cheese, who moved my cheese was about resiliency in the workplace, right? And who moved my dentures was a resiliency and elders. A lot of the people who I interviewed, they’re all stories basically.

 

Um And my keynote is a bunch of those stories followed by a song that relates to that like having purpose is one of the things I learned from everyone. Story of Esther. Yes. Yes. The story of Esther. I mean, it was a real person. Yeah, I mean, I, so the story of Esther, I mean, and I’m still in touch with her, in fact, for my podcast, um uh your brain on music. Um One of the segments is gonna be, we’re gonna analyze a song at each in each episode, uh, like the neuroscience behind it and then also the musical side by side, but also every episode we’re gonna hear from people who have stories of music in their life and, and what makes an impact.

 

So Esther, um Esther was in an assisted living where I was performing and she became my designated heckler. Um, uh, so, you know, we would go back and forth with each other. This actually gets to one of the points of coping actually, which is his purpose. And right. Um um So anyway, she summoned me one day when I was going up to the assisted living, told the activity director I want him to come and sing for me and she was in the hospital. So on the way over, um the uh activity director said, hey, by the way, you know, she died and was revived and she’s in cardiac intensive care.

 

I said, if she wants me for what she goes, I don’t know. So we get there and um Esther’s there and her daughter’s there and Esther’s flirting with me. It gets kind of comical and her, her daughter’s saying, mom, he’s a married man, you know, all this kind of stuff. Anyway, Esther wants one song because he lives beautiful song because he lives, I can face tomorrow except, you know, the one thing is, you know, I may live in the Bible Belt, but I’m from South Philadelphia and, you know, I grew up with, uh you know, Frank Sinatra in the Great American songbook.

 

And they were the first songs I actually performed, you know, I joke, you know, you come down uh from upstairs and on the, on the wall, on one wall is a picture of the Lord and the other wall is a picture of Frank Sinatra and, and, and, and you, and you bow before Frank every morning. You know. Uh so I said, Esther, I don’t know that song. I said, but I’ll learn it for you. So I sang her unforgettable because, you know, it was, uh, she was unforgettable.

 

The moment was unforgettable. So, yeah. And, and so, um, I learned the song and I had a recording studio at the time. Now it’s my streaming studio and, um, I sent it to her in a CD. She was back in the assisted living. And, um, I thought I was well and good. And then I found out, um, she was in hospice and then I found out she passed and, um, I said, I don’t make it a habit to go to the funerals of residents who I’ve sung for because, you know, that’s going to be a permanent condition.

 

Very busy. But I did go to Esther’s funeral. I don’t know why something was just tugging at me to go. And I go, and of course, the song on the, on, on the program is because he lives and then the daughter came up to me and gave me a hug and started crying and she told me and others told me she had not cried until I came into the room and she saw me. So this gets to the crux. Um, essentially on Master’s last day of life, they played my CD with the one song over and over and over and again until the daughter actually, um, knelt down next to her mom and, uh said, and started singing with me first of all, and then told her mom, you know, it’s time, let go.

 

So, you know, that’s a moment where you and somehow impacted whatever life is now to whatever life’s going to be afterwards. And so basically in this, in transition. So, so that song has great meaning for them. And in my podcast, we’re going to end every podcast with a viewer or listener who can tell us about a song that has great meaning in their life and why. And so I’ve already lined up the granddaughter now because they were, they were both part of this experience. Um, you know, in this.

 

So, you know, having purpose, um, still in your life, uh, is as I think, uh, you know, and in some ways, you know, doing the things I’m doing in, in, uh, in the space that I’m, you know, doing that keynotes or TV, work. It’s in some respects. It’s busy work. Could I retire now? Yeah, I, I could, uh, but am I ready to play pickleball and golf all the time? I don’t, I don’t think so. Um, there was a great skit on pickleball by the way back on that Charlotte Squawks where we started the conversation.

 

Uh, but, you know, um, socialization, I talk about that a lot and social isolation. I mean, there was every other day, there seems to be uh a uh study on social isolation. There’s just one in mcknight’s long term care again, reporting on two different ones. So, um thanks, we have a large group of, well, not just family but friends. And so uh people joke about us either, you know, being away uh visiting family or traveling with friends or when we’re home, having, you know, every single night of the week filled with something.

 

So, uh that’s, that’s certainly a part of it. We talked about humor, um you know, that kind of thing and I make five other points, lifelong learning and gratitude. So that’s the keynote. And then um I’m gonna link to the book, I’ve got the podcast, your brain on music. I think that’s gonna um amazing. I love the connection with the Esther story that kind of prompted you um on your purpose and how this music has really uh been a part of people’s lives. And like, when, you know, music is a mood shifter, I, I say that very frequently, like music has spoke to me sometimes during those like really weary caregiving moments to the point where I start creating a caregiver anthem playlist.

 

Like every time I hear the song, I think this is reminding me of some piece of caregiving. So I’ll, I’ll link to that um too just on Spotify and, and um and Pandora, but it’s uh you know, and just changing them mood from when my mom and I were having tough moments and we’ve had some beautiful things where we’ve hired musicians in when she was bedridden. So I’ve seen it in action there and, um, tell us more than about, you know, your, your business or your product, I guess is a Sage Stream. Yep.

 

Sage Stream. Sage Stream dot Live. And, um, so this was a, you know, kind of a, I call it a Legacy project is, um, you know, I like to, I like to go out with something that actually brought two parts of my life together. So, you know, since the sixties, seventies, you know, late sixties, early seventies, music’s been part of my life. I was playing music and playing guitar when I was 10. I was in bands at 673 playing it, even in nightclubs underage that kind of thing. So that’s always been that you heard the shift about how I went to, you know, older adults and, and that thing.

 

Um, so, so that’s been one part of my life, but in the eighties, uh, just because of a series of circumstances, I didn’t know I was going to work in health care. But, you know, at the time you fall into different circumstances, I was a communication and business major. So um through TV, work and the medical publishing, I wound up in hospital work and then the shift to aging because of the music. So this is something that brings both of these together because first I know the issues, right?

 

Um you know, social isolation and live them. Yes, caregiver, caregiver, relief, caregiver burden. Um what’s happening in, in uh you know, senior communities, lack of staff, lack of budgets, uh lack of money everywhere, lack of money or so-called, lack of money, depending on, on your, on your cynical side on any given day because I could argue that point. But that’s a whole another podcast. But yeah, I bet we’d find the money. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So that’s, that’s the thing. But so it was a way. So the essence of what it is, it’s a live stream real time interactive music network.

 

So when we broadcast, we are live live, which means if you’re a subscriber, there’s a chat function and you can communicate with us likewise, you could probably, you could communicate with other viewers. Uh And, and I was just, you know, for my newsletter this week uh on Substack, I was citing this loneliness study and citing sage stream because, you know, if somebody is shut in and can’t get out, um This is a way first of all, to become engaged uh with the artists, you can, you know, make song requests and get shout outs for birthdays or whatever it is.

 

Um And, but also if you’re on that platform, you can um see who else is communicating and what they’re saying and maybe you wanna communicate back, track the comments, people do that all the time, half the time they get lost in the comments and communicating with each other. They forget what they’re even listening to. But uh so, so it’s live interactive uh music. We have some other topics but you know, people early on told me to pick a lane. So I would say 90% is music. Uh um So uh we’re interactive from the chat feature, but we also have a Google phone number that people can text if they don’t have um chat available because we’re on some other platforms like touchtown TV and well, Zesta and a few others.

 

And so sometimes they’re just watching it on monitors but don’t have a way to communicate. So, so we have that um we rebroadcast, we have an archive. Uh but um the, the real, I mean, our performers. Right. Absolutely. So, yeah, it’s just not me. Um I, yeah, no, I know I tried it a few years ago. I thought I was on the cusp of something, but it was just before of the pandemic and it was before I kind of conceived this on a broader and it was, you know, scale and it was morally motivated because we got fiber optics in our neighborhood.

 

Now, I could, you know, I could stream but I, I didn’t know what I didn’t know about streaming about the equipment I needed. And so I spent a lot of time just getting a lot of that in order. But uh I quickly started recruiting artists from all kinds of sources. So from, you know, so you were a guest on one of my caregiver summits. Another um guest was Grace Meadows who founded Music for Dementia in the UK Great Organization. Uh And um Grace, um you know, put a call out and I have several musicians from the UK who are on the platform uh who in many respects, incorporate, I don’t advertise this as music therapy, but I do, I do believe that when you’re interactive and if an activity director is actually using this the correct way at the front of the room, taking requests and relaying notes and then continuing the program after by talking to the residents about, you know, why did you request that song and almost coming up with the playlist of the community, that kind of thing.

 

It is music therapy. But our UK artists truly have aspects of music therapy and how they uh conceive their programs and, and uh and uh and then put them on. So we, we, we start out with a bunch of folks from there all kinds of artists, a Scottish singer who does all kinds of amazing things with harmony and looping. Uh AAA Guy Guy game uh guy game guy named my M George. Uh and he’s like, he looks like a little Monty Python character. Um, but he just sings with his guitar on his couch.

 

He has 2000 songs, but he has different cues in his, his performance that help with memory. Like, you know, 11 is, he wears the same shirt, every performance with the same logo, but the shirt changes color. Um He’ll take a snack and a drink of something during the performance because he wants to remind caregivers to say, stay hydrated and, and stay nourished people watching who may be living with dementia, forget to eat and drink. It’s like, you know, you model model it, it’s like, oh, you do, let me do that.

 

So interesting. Well, this is gonna be sage streamlined. We’re gonna link to that. I love that. You call it your Legacy project. I’m like, I, I it’s got me thinking, what’s my legacy project? I think there’s, you know, um, well, I studied broadcast journalism at Penn State and then fell into a career in it and then now doing Happy healthy caregiver in some ways. This podcast is a legacy project I think because it will live on long after. Um But maybe there’s a TV show of some sort or something that could kind of bring, bring that full circle with, um, such a cool, such a cool thing and, and music.

 

I mean, music therapy is a thing and, but even if you can’t call the Sage Stream live music there, it’s definitely, there’s, we feel, we feel it’s a mood shifter and we, it is music is therapy. I think none of us could, will argue that. Well, it’s, you’ve been around, you know, people that are aging elders and stuff for the bulk of your, um, your, your career in your, in your life. Like, what do you think? Aging? Well, like what does that look like? What have you seen BB?

 

And I do wanna, I do wanna get a couple of things in before I leave as well on, on some other stuff. But yes, what have I seen? I, I think it’s all about your attitude. I mean, honestly, um, you know, I, if, if you have a great mental outlook and that’s the other thing I talk about attitude, right? Um uh I talk about Gene Kopek in my book and in my speeches, she was a, um, person who lived in, uh the first continuing care retirement community that I ever sang in and she was a mild mannered housewife.

 

Her husband passed, she was a young widow. She raised her kids. She pretty much did nothing but that, that was her sole purpose. Uh, but when she came to the community, she participated in everything. So you know, I sing the word High, hope I sing the song. High Hopes with when I make that point. Um So she had a great attitude about things, you know, her, her cup was half full, not, not empty and, and she was in a place that most people would equate and still do because the general public is still not knowledgeable about uh our world and the different, even the different levels and what they mean.

 

So she had a great attitude and that cape kept her alive and she came to every one of my programs and you know, a lot of the seniors I write about in, in the book and talk about um you know, attitude and gratitude are two of the big things and gratitude more than anything is the one I always tell people is the, the one that stuck out for me more than anything after you start talking to people uh enough. And so, you know, how much do we in our daily lives?

 

Because I think when you, when you, you know, express gratitude, uh and your day thinking about things you’re grateful for um you know, getting involved in uh paying it forward and things like that, I think all of those help you, you know, age um and you know, all the other things, but I think it has to probably start in your brain like music. Uh Yeah, yeah, definitely. I love the attitude um gratitude in music and you mentioned class half full or half empty. I put something recently out on Instagram that my glasses refillable.

 

Like I think that, you know, we, we can keep, you know, we can pour into it with music and, and with other things. Um What is you mentioned, like travel and loving things but like what are you doing specifically to focus on your own personal health and well being right now? Oh, this is kind of funny. So, um because of a series of things that, you know, I’m a hot headed Italian with a, with a, with a, you know, could we have a temper at time? So, um to take out my frustrations, I started kickboxing.

 

Um, and I guess I think tomorrow will be my 12th class. It’s amazing. It’s amazing. Um You know, you, you start out on two different sets of bags for 25 minutes and then you do a whole, it could be a core workout. It could be a weights, it could be the ropes, you know what I mean? It could be anything. That’s the, the, the particular place I go prides themselves on changing the workout. No workout is the same. So your body does not get used to one thing or another.

 

Um So that is my current mechanism. Um, you know, um, but I, I, I’ve always worked out so this is just amping, get up to another level and I think when you start your day, that way, your adrenaline and all those hormones they say are activated when you do this kind of stuff, it just sets you up better for the day. So, I’ve been trying to do them at eight in the morning. That’s not my best time. Especially when you’ve lived your life in broadcasting. And as a musician you’re used to the other end of the day, uh, in the things that I did.

 

And, uh, but yeah, that, and of course, you know, when I need to jam and get my guitar out and go in the garage and, uh, take out my frustrations on lead guitar, you know, that, that always helps. So, uh, what are you playing? Is it like when I was growing up, my brothers played guitar? It was, I think it was smoke on the water is like their way to heaven would be the other one they learned. Uh, well, yeah, my, my repertoire. So I do a solo when I’m, I perform locally and brew pubs and whatever like that.

 

And so I could do everything from the Great American songbook to Taylor Swift. And I have done Taylor Swift songs, you know, and performances and I have a QR code that was on a banner and people can link to it and then they, they could play stump the band because sometimes they’ll pick a song I haven’t done in five years and I’ll, I’ll, I’ll try to get that get that. And if I don’t know it, then I will learn it by the next time I play. So my repertoire is all over the place.

 

So in that situation, I play guitar at backing tracks, a harmon. So it basically sounds like a full band and all the bands I was in forever. I was the bass player because I, I didn’t get in the door quick enough to be the lead guitar player. Uh, because everybody wanted to be the lead guitar player because lead guitar player got, you know, attracted all the women. So, but, you know, the base was on the T shirt. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, yeah. So that’s, uh, my repertoire is amazingly diverse.

 

I love it. And I mean, that you’re, you’re living and I need more examples for, for me, I’m trying to live an aging, well type of life too. It’s like I’ve had a lot of people that haven’t kind of made it to those, um, bigger years. And so definitely to be intentional about that, I’d love to kind of continue the self care theme with you. I’ve got a couple questions for you from the, the self care journal here, Anthony. Um, what was your favorite activity as a child?

 

What were you doing? Wow. So, it’s a whole lot different than now. We have six grandkids and what they’re doing, that’s for sure. Uh, favorite activity. We didn’t have a whole lot. I mean, we played something called stickball or half ball in South Philly. Uh, you know, I joked that my, my, my pool was the fire hydrant, you know, so it was really our friends and hanging out with our friends, uh, pretty much all the time and some of those grade school friends. So I’ve been to more grade school unions in the high school reunions and certainly no college reunions to speak of.

 

So, um, my grade school friends are still some of my, my best friends, um, you know, in, in life and you hear that sometimes but, you know, small, you know, cat, not small at all, but a Catholic grade school, you know, that kind of thing. So, neighborhood in Philly. So, yeah, that, um, that was pretty much it. And, you know, um, we had a close knit Italian family so we, we shuffled back and forth between ants that were in a town called Hamilton, New Jersey, which is halfway between Philadelphia and Atlantic City.

 

Um, so that, that was a big part of my life. Yeah, too fun. Well, I mean, I grew up in western Pennsylvania in a small town and with one blinking traffic light. So we had to entertain ourselves, uh, quite a bit and there was a lot of kickball and hide and we kind of like a nighttime hide and seek game. We called monsters. So, yeah, lots of, lots of fun, fun things there. Um, have you taken any steps recently to plan or to help simplify your life.

 

Simplify, streamline, simplify. We, my wife and I are both very organized. So we’re always declutter and, and, you know, preparing, you know, in case, you know, if we stay here, we don’t stay here. We love uh where we live and all that kind of stuff. So we’re pretty organized that way. Uh But um I’m actually probably complicating my life with Sage Stream right now. Um You can’t not do it. I say, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, and it’s one of those things when you’re an entrepreneur, it’s like, you know, we’re, we’re at that critical 3, 3.5 year juncture where it’s either gonna go or it’s not gonna go.

 

And so, you know, what, what’s the alternative? So what do you need by the way to make it go subscribers? Let’s put it out there. It’s simple, it’s simple, subscribe, go to the website, subscribe, care. I think this is a great caregiver respite tool. And, and in fact, so, you know, we just graduated from um the A Arph tech collaborative. So only only 6% of companies that apply for that uh pitch to that get accepted. Um I should have said that way earlier, but um it does lend an air of credibility to what we’re doing and through that, we were able to deploy surveys, you know, to the A ARP, you know, data set, you know, so that’s you know, so every survey came back with 100 and 60 responses from caregivers who by and large.

 

First of all, thought music was one of the best activities for their older loved one. And also the fact that if, you know, seeing how we describe the product and watching a short video, um enthusiastically endorsed it. So we have made a more of a B to B strategy and not A B to C and, and now I have to shift a little with redoing our website and also um doing some paper click and things like that. But uh we’re trying to make it more B to B. Is it still gonna be A B to C?

 

1. Business to consumer. I would love to get 20 long term care communities like right in the gate because that would sustain me for the foreseeable future. Um But, you know, senior living is a hard nut to break into. Um So, you know, as a speaker, we don’t, you know, they don’t, people are like, oh, assisted livings and skilled. I’m like, they don’t, they don’t pay professional speakers. Like it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. It’s like if they, you know, educated the public about that and those are gonna be the brands that people are going to think of um, of working with.

 

But listen. Exactly. I mean, absolutely. The more you do to help educate the public about things and it’s it’s on their behalf, the brand halo. You know, everybody wins. Exactly. Yeah. Well, I know, I know we could, we could. Yeah. What are, what are you, what are you grateful for today? What’s, that’s another next question for you? All right. This is playing to my, to my interviewer here, but I’m grateful for our conversation because, uh, you know, it brings out things that I don’t maybe think about all the time and uh given some, you know, recent things with uh people in our lives who have gone through health conditions or people who have passed.

 

It’s a crazy, it’s a crazy time in one’s life when, you know, I’m 67 and, you know, you start seeing different things. So, um the opportunity to uh maybe talk about that every once in a while, maybe you don’t, you don’t, you don’t get. So, yeah, it tightens your value system. I think like, you know, caregiving changes people, but all of these life situations, um they, they have an impact on you. Well, I mean, Anthony tell us, you know, is there anything that you wish that we brought up that we didn’t bring up is, you know, how do people stay in touch with you and learn more?

 

Um So obviously, Sage Stream dot Live, uh like I said, I think it’s a great caregiver respite tool if you know, mom or dad’s watching the show. Um And you can help set that up and then you have an hour break to do whatever, have a cup of tea even or you could share the activity with them and participate, you know. Um So Sage Stream dot Live, um the email for that is ac my Anthony Cillo ac at Sage Stream dot Live. Um The other thing I wanted to talk about just quickly is um I’m a board member of the Institute for Music and Neurologic Function. Imnf.org.

 

uh that was founded by the great neuroscientist Oliver Sacks. So if anybody’s ever seen the movie Alive Inside and what music can do to people, uh and what, you know, how it ignites your brain. Um uh that uh institute was final by him and Connie Tamao who’s now become a good friend and I’m on the board. Uh and that was uh a deliberate reach out on my part to get involved because I was getting involved in music and, you know, music therapy and respect. And so I tend to dive deep into the things that I’m doing.

 

So, um after talking to Connie a couple of years ago and she kept me in mind and they were trying to rejuvenate the board a little bit and uh brought me in and uh so they, you know, Im and f just look at some of the work they do music and health and Parkinson’s and mental health and it goes on and on and we have a great gala in New York city every year at the New York Times Center. Uh It’s amazing. Uh This year, the format is gonna be a little bit different.

 

Um in terms of there’s gonna be some workshops before the evening gala. And we always honor people in the industry and the musicians uh like Renee Fleming one year, our honoree and others, Glen Campbell. Um people who have uh continued the fight around the, the belief that music is, is therapy, music is medicine. And uh you know, there’s something in the UK, another great link out maybe is called social prescribing. So in our country, we was, we talk about social determinants of health. Like if people don’t have transportation, they can’t get to their healthcare appointment that impacts your health if they, if they don’t have a uh a steady food supply of, of nourishing food, um you know, those, those types of things, uh housing, whatever, but in the UK, they take this to another level.

 

So in the US, if we have anxiety, you know, half the time more they want to give you a pill, right? So in the UK, social prescribing, they’re going to prescribe you perhaps a nature walk or an arts program or a music program, they’re going to use that therapeutically and they have found that a it saves the health system money. Uh And it also cuts down on the use of pharmaceuticals, which we know is a big issue in, in senior care because, you know, if you have people in nursing homes and, you know, if it’s not a nursing home of high quality and the staff just want to quiet somebody because they just don’t feel like dealing with it.

 

Uh, that’s what happens. So, uh, you know, more music is what we need, more music and thank you for bringing up the social prescribing. So interesting to learn about, I’ve recently learned like about like, you know, we’ve had occupational and speech therapists, but recreational therapist is another whole like thing where people are doing activities in that socialization. Um But I love that they’re prescribing, prescribing it as. Yeah, and I’m trying to get some physicians locally who are more entrepreneurial to understand the value of this and what it could do and to even just give out um some of our information to caregivers not even have a formal relationship.

 

I just have my put it out there and hey, by the way, take this, you might be interested and it might help mom could definitely help mom. Well, this has been so enlightening and engaging. I just appreciate the time with you Anthony and you know, we’re gonna link to um Sage Stream Live and um and hopefully get some subscribers there so we can get the music um out into the world that where people can help them with their socialization and their, and their health and happiness, ultimately. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, I thank you. It’s been a great, great conversation. Thank you so much

 

 Hello, podcast listener. If you’re caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia, you don’t want to miss all’s authors podcast. Untangling Alzheimer’s and Dementia. I’m your host, Mary Anne Sco, a registered nurse author and dementia daughter. In each episode, I interview one of our 300 plus authors about their personal dementia story and why they chose to write about it, sharing intimate details and painfully obtained not to help you on your own journey. We share a variety of stories across all diagnoses and from a range of caregiving experiences. You can find us on your favorite podcast platform in the whole care network. Remember, you are not alone, one can sing a lonely song, but we chose to form a choir and create harmony. Find us at all. Authors.com. See you soon.

 

Thanks for joining us today on the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast on the whole care network. As always, show notes that a company today’s episode can be found on my website Happy Healthy caregiver.com. Just look under the podcast menu for today’s episode image and that will take you to the page with the links and information we spoke about today.

 

You’ll also find other resources on the website along with links to purchase the just for you daily self care journal. When you purchase from my website, you’ll get a signed copy and for a limited time free shipping. If you’ve enjoyed, what you heard today, consider subscribing to the show on your podcast platform. It really helps other family caregivers find the podcast and you’ll automatically receive our biweekly shows in your podcast listening queue. Maybe while you’re subscribing, consider leaving a five star rating and review or just simply talk it up on your social channels.

 

Let’s stay connected. I’m on Instagram and Facebook as Happy healthy caregiver. And until we meet again, please take care of you.

 

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