I’m proud to be an Ambassador for the No Barriers Caregiver Program and a volunteer retreat leader. I just returned from an amazing ‘train the trainer’ multi-day pack trip outside Cody, Wyoming. I knew going in that it would be a bonding experience for us as retreat leaders and be a mock caregiving retreat allowing us to practice facilitating the various activities and discussions. What I didn’t know is that I would learn a little bit about US history, a lot about my personal mental and physical strength, and receive some huge learnings I want to adopt into my weekly self-care regimen.
A Bit of Background
You may have met the Director of the No Barriers Caregiver Program, Heather Zoccali, in episode #109 of the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast. Last year, the No Barriers Caregiver Program received over 2400 applications from caregivers wanting to attend a retreat in 2021. We expect this number to grow each year. With funding and human resources, more retreats will be added each year to transform more family caregivers through this experience.
Out of the seven leaders on this event, I had the least backcountry/horseback/wilderness experience. No Barriers USA’s motto is ‘what’s within you is stronger than what’s in your way.’ This four-day/three-night backcountry trip outside of Cody, Wyoming, brought me way outside of my comfort zone. I hope many reading this will be able to join us on a future caregiver program retreat. I will certainly announce when the 2022 application period opens, so be sure to join the Happy Healthy Caregiver email list. No Barriers also has a Warriors program for Veterans, a Leadership program for Corporations, Educators, and Youth Programs.
Now, on to the lessons and a few photos…
Lesson #1: Don’t overthink it
I know I get inside my own head sometimes and overcomplicate life. Being given a packing list and told not to bring more than what can fit into a duffle certainly helped curb my tendency to overpack. Some items would be provided, such as rain gear, a sub-zero sleeping bag, bear spray, and Lifestraw Water Filter Bottle.
When we started on our horseback trail adventure, I was anxious! We pulled up to the trailhead, placed our gear on the tarps, met our guides, and then they started pairing us up with our horses and mules. I never forgot to talk to the animals while approaching and moving around them to avoid being kicked. The first mule I was assigned was ginormous, but I had to move to another because the stirrups didn’t work well for this fun-size body. One of the guides had to help me find a stump or rock to stand on to get on my mule. There was no long setup of instructions on how to manage our mules and what to expect. After packing our saddlebags with water, sunscreen, chapstick, and lunches, we got on our assigned livestock, and off we went!
Later on the trip, we found out that Scott doesn’t do in-depth instruction because he has found this makes people even more anxious. Less talk, more do! As a Certified Caregiving Consultant, this is one thing I have implemented, too. Often when family caregivers worry, I ask questions to determine what action(s) they could talk to minimize the worry.
Lesson #2: Cowboys do exist, and Wranglers aren’t just a brand of jeans
Scott LaFevers is the business owner of 307 Outfitters. He used to work in the forestry service and has an eagle eye for spotting Grizzlies on mountainsides. With his guidance and his telescope, I watched three grizzly bears dig under moss for moths. Scott is strong and steady and yet soft and sweet. A reminder that many things can be true at the same time. And he gets caregiving. He got choked up the first night we met him at the Silver Dollar Bar talking about how he helped care for his dad, who had ALS. The only time Scott really stopped moving was to give his wife Mandy a smooch. Mandy had a calming effect on me. She’s a local veterinarian and has health issues of her own to manage. Her experience and ease gave me confidence. If she thought inexperienced me could handle this trip, I had to believe I could. Plus, once you are on the mule, what choice do you have but to 100% commit! I really enjoyed her wisdom and wit, especially when we were all soaking our sore muscles in the Shoshone River during Cocktails for Caregivers.
Scott and Mandy’s bold and beautiful twelve-year-old daughter Kintla also went on the trip. Kintla is a mini mixture of Scott and Mandy. I have never been around a preteen who melds so well with a group of adults.
We also had three other men with us – Jim and Alex, who primarily helped wrangle the horses and manage our gear, and Heather’s husband, Matt, who not only had mad gourmet cooking skills but could wind the night down with guitar sing-alongs by the campfire.
While Scott and the wranglers brought our gear up and back from the camp, Kintla and Mandy were leading us on the 15 mile horseback trails. It was empowering to look around and realize what a strong group of women we all are!
Other than our No Barriers group activities, we weren’t required to help set up, teardown, cook, or clean when we were at camp. We just had to look after ourselves. What a treat! I’d be limping off the horse, and our 307 Outfitters group still had hours of work to do, managing the horses and preparing meals. One of our favorite moments to watch was to see the wranglers let the mules and horses go after dinner. After they got their drinks from the river, the wranglers would tether a few of the critical mares out in the pasture. As long as these mares were secure, the rest of the livestock could be trusted to remain close by untethered – with bells around their necks. The horses and mules would dash to the Shoshone River and then roll their bodies in the dirt.
Lesson #3: History is best when you Experience It
I learned that Cody, Wyoming, was named after Buffalo Bill Cody. On our first night, we got to enjoy the Cody Stampede Rodeo. So much respect for these folks of all ages who come out for 90 nights in a row to put on a risky performance!
Our trail went through the Shoshone National Forest. This beautiful 2.4 million-acre terrain boasts the title for being the first US National Forest. We were traveling just outside of Yellowstone’s border and enjoying the Absaroka Mountains. The Shoshone takes its name from the Shoshoni Indians living in that area.
Lesson #4: Your Rope Team Can Include an Animal
One of the No Barriers elements is ‘Rope Team.’ Essentially this is your support system. I’m a lucky lady with several rope teams I can lean on. I have this powerful group of No Barriers leaders, my Atlanta caregiver support group, my book club, and sisters. On this trip, I learned that my rope team also included a sixteen-year-old animal named Bon Bon.
My assigned horse for the entire trip was actually a mule. A mule is the offspring of a male donkey (jack) and a female horse (mare). Our guide likes to use mules because they are hard workers and docile. Before a mule can transport people, they first are trained to carry the gear. This helps them get used to the trail, the weight, and the sounds.
Bon Bon was formerly owned by a person with dementia who inadvertently overfed her. My fellow riders said I often said two common phrases while we were riding: ‘F*#k Me!’ (usually when my horse jumped over a ditch, trotted, or shifted down a steep hill) or ‘No Eat Bon Bon.’ Bon Bon thought wildflower patches of fireweed, Indian paintbrush, goldenrod, harebells, and pearly everlasting were candy stores.
I had to learn quickly to trust Bon Bon. She safely took me on narrow hillside trails, through rocky creeks, over fallen trees, across swampy meadows, and behind other horses or mules that liked to kick if you were tailgating too close. I thanked Bon Bon regularly for getting us through a tough patch. I rewarded her with some of my lunch leftovers like apple cores, clementine slices, and bits of my sandwich. The first day traveling into camp, I was so focused on the mechanics of everything that I am not sure I appreciated the scenery. Riding back that last day, I knew Bon Bon had everything under control, and I could relax and soak it all in.
We also had a few other animals on our rope team – a bear dog named Ferdinand and a bird dog named Dosey. Dosey led the way scaring anything away as we were coming through or letting us know if there was something to worry about. Ferdinand would weave through the mules and horses as if they didn’t weigh 1,000 pounds each. While they were essential parts of the Outfitter team, they had no issues enjoying some snuggles and leftovers once jobs were done.
Lesson #5: Everything tastes better over a fire pit
Matt prepared hot breakfasts and dinners – mostly in cast iron pans over the firepit. The food far exceeded my expectations. I thought we’d be having hotdogs and s’mores. Instead, Matt served up stuffed peppers, pork tenderloin, and steak. One of our favorite side dishes was the acorn squash with a pool of butter inside. Breakfast included french toast, pancakes, and breakfast burritos. Desserts were delicious, too. The chocolate lava cake made in a cast iron dutch oven hit the spot! I definitely learned I want to use my cast iron pots more – especially for the bacon.
Lesson #6: Pack more socks and underwear
Depend is a Happy Healthy Caregiver Care Champion Partner. As a person with some stress incontinence, I threw some of their Silhouette adult underwear in my duffle, just in case. I’ve only been on a horse a couple of times in my life. I’m glad I packed them! The first day after my mule went up and down a steep ditch, I learned that I didn’t have as much control as I thought I did. On my other two riding days, the Silhouettes made me much more comfortable mentally and physically. Another partner product that I was glad I had with me was the Sapphire Essentials CBD pain balm! I anticipated I would be sore on my butt and inner thighs. In reality, it was the outside of my knees where I felt the discomfort. This pain balm really helped me, and I shared it with my friends to help them with their sore spots.
It was unseasonably hot in Wyoming during the day, with highs in the upper 80’s. This made wildlife not as prevalent near our camp. The elk, moose, mule deer, and (thankfully) grizzlies prefer it cooler, so stay higher up in the mountains. However, at night, things dropped way down into the 40s. The first night I was in my 20 below sleeping bag on a cot wearing one pair of socks, sweatpants, a beanie, gloves, and a hoodie, and I was freezing. Each night I slept better; more layers of socks helped along with Kintla’s tip to put the clothes I intended to wear the next day in the bottom of my sleeping bag. The last night I lined my cot with a towel and put my luggage underneath my cot to add more buffer from the ground. Next time, I’ll bring more cozy socks and a few of these foot warmers, too.
Lesson #7: Being unplugged is pure bliss
Being in the wilderness meant that the only way people could get there is by hiking or horseback. There are other rules and regulations, such as no motorized equipment or electricity, to keep the sights and sounds as wild as possible.
My phone was my only camera, so I wanted to preserve my battery. I was shocked that my iPhone still had much juice left at the end of my trip. All I did was turn it on airplane mode and low battery power during the day and turn it completely off at night.
Instead of head down scrolling through social media at night, I had my eyes upon the sky searching for shooting stars! I saw my first one while waiting for my girlfriend who was on the ‘groover.’ The groover is the campsite potty. It is called a ‘groover’ because folks used to poop in an ammo can long ago, and it would put groove marks on their butts.
On the last day of any No Barriers Caregivers retreat, we all share a self-care pledge. I pledge to continue to unplug once a week from email and social media. Originally, I said once a month, but my rope team pushed back and said I needed to do more! I plan to do this by putting my phone on ‘do not disturb’ every Sunday. I know they’ll hold me accountable.
Sitting upon Bon Bon, I cried tears of joy toward the end of the trail. Then I heard the Rocky theme playing in my head. Forty miles on horseback in the wilderness over four days was no small feat for this gal! I had not only survived a tough test of my physical and mental endurance but gained memories to last a lifetime. Thank you, No Barriers USA Caregiver Program, for this unforgettable growth experience.
If you would like to recreate this experience for a group of friends or family, check out all the different packages offered by 307 Outfitters (named 307 since there is basically only one area code for Wyoming). Scott and his family will take great care of you, and I can guarantee you’ll have an extraordinary adventure.
