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Perhaps I have learned lessons and I don’t look at them as lessons. I suppose I look at them as, as noticing the right way of life, noticing how to behave.

 

Caring for aging parents or other loved ones while working, raising Children and trying to live your own life, wondering how to find the time for your personal health and happiness. Well, you’re in the right place. Welcome to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast to show where real family caregivers share how to be happy and healthy while caring for others. Now, here’s your host, Family Caregiver and certified caregiving consultant, Elizabeth Miller.

 

Hello, everyone. Thanks for tuning in to the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast. Which is part of the whole care network. If this is your first time listening, welcome. This is a show produced biweekly to help family caregivers integrate self care and caregiving into their lives. We are also thrilled to now be a part of the whole care network streaming radio channel. So you can download the app and get access to this podcast and a whole lot of other caregiving podcasts as well. Each of our episodes has an accompanying show notes page.

 

So if, if you’d like more details about the topics, products and resources we speak about or see any of the related photos, you’ll find the show notes by going on the website Happy Healthy caregiver. com and underneath the podcast menu, click the image or the episode number for today’s show. You’re also gonna find the link to the show notes in your podcast platforms, episode description. You are invited to come cruise with me and some of my fellow care advocates in October of 2025. Yes, you’ve heard that right?

 

20 25. We planned this respite filled self care at sea cruise with family caregivers in mind. We have removed a few of the barriers we know caregivers could have. We’re giving you lots of notice over a year to make a plan for your care recipient to have backup care, an affordable rate with a payment plan option. Just enough activities to connect with your caregiving community without interrupting the rest and the fun that we know you desperately need. It’s going to be happening on a Norwegian cruise line on one of their new ships called Aqua.

 

We’re going to some great destinations including Dominican Republic, the US and British Virgin Islands and the Bahamas. And I hope you’ll make memories with us on the self care at sea cruise in the fall of 2025. You’re not only going to get a much needed energizing vacation but also return home with a lifeline of support and community. Learn more at bit dot le forward slash HHC self care cruise. I’ll also link to it in the show notes page. And if you decide to book, don’t forget to choose happy, healthy caregiver as the answer for the question and how you heard about the cruise.

 

By the way, if you’re a business looking to become a sponsor for this special self-care at sea cruise, reach out to me and I can share the sponsor options that we have. I’d like to thank our episode sponsor Caregiver Warrior feeling burnt out as a caregiver, self-care for caregivers, a practical guide to caring for you while you care for your loved one offers practical advice and support to help you find grace while caring for others. Written by Suzanne White, the best selling author and founder of Caregiver warrior.com.

 

This powerful guide offers invaluable insights and practical tips to help you prioritize your well-being, embrace self care and find the balance you deserve pick up your copy today and start taking care of you. Learn more at caregiver warrior. com for this episode of Segment of what I’m reading, I receive a lot of caregiving books and I don’t necessarily read all of them cover to cover, but I did read and enjoy this one that was written by our spotlighted guest today, actor and family caregiver, Steve Gutenberg. When Steve’s father is diagnosed with kidney failure, he has to step into a new and wholly unexpected role, family caregiver in this book that is called Time to thank Steve tracks his weekly road trips from L A to Arizona to care for his father and the ways in which his time on the road affords him the perspective to reflect on his life.

 

His dad was his raw and his hero. And this theme resonated and validated my own caregiver story. There was a portion of the caregiving years when I was traveling six hours by car to support my parents going from Georgia to Florida. And I had lots of time to think in those car rides. This book blends stories from the past including Steve’s Hollywood career to those of the final years that he treasured with his dad. I enjoyed getting to know the softer side of Hollywood movie star Steve Gutenberg and which there was more humans in our world like he and his dad, Stanley. I will link to the book in the show notes page.

 

For my favorite thing this episode. It’s my favorite thing is a refreshing and tasty product that my husband Jason co created and co-founded. I’m so proud of him. It’s a canned cocktail called Good Days. It’s made in Georgia and only available in Georgia right now because launching a brand new beverage takes time and they just launched in March of this year. It’s been hot, hot here in Georgia this summer. And so we have to be intentional about finding ways to stay cool air conditioning, maximizing early morning and evening outdoor time, swimming in lakes and pools and enjoying a beverage with friends after a pickleball match.

 

But it’s not just us that likes these beverages. Good days. We recently served them up in an Atlanta Beer festival and we had lines at our booth and repeat tasters. People love the fun branding and the overall taste. They are a little carbonated and not too sweet because they are spirit based. They’re currently made with vodka or whiskey, but more classic cocktails will be coming. These have to be purchased at a liquor store or a bar restaurant where they are served. If you live in Georgia, ask your place that you buy your alcoholic beverages, your spirit beverages to carry good days and to see where you can purchase them right now in Georgia, near you visit Drink Good days. com and if you just want to follow our journey and see where we’re expanding good days. Follow, drink, good days on Instagram.

 

Let’s meet today’s caregiver in the spotlight, Steve Gutenberg is a beloved Hollywood actor known for his role in films, including Diner Police Academy, Short Circuit, Three Men and a Baby Cocoon and television shows including Ballers and Veronica Mars. We have enjoyed Steve Gutenberg in many roles and now I’d like to spotlight maybe the role that was the most difficult for Steve, the role of family caregiver to his dad and hero, Stanley Steve wrote about his care experience while reflecting on his childhood and Hollywood career in his new book time.

 

To think. We learn about why Steve and his sister pursued home dialysis training how Hollywood’s portrayal of care and death differ from real life. The self love creed. Steve recited with his dad and all the terrific micro acts of self care. Steve practices to remain happy and healthy. Enjoy the show.

 

Hi, Steve. Welcome to the Happy Healthy caregiver podcast. Thank you for having me and I send my love and my strength to all the other caregivers out there on the planet. Who are angels. Yes. Well, you’ve experienced this firsthand and your story is so unique.

 

Like I’ve met lots of caregivers at events and spotlighting through the podcast and, and books and stuff that I’ve read and I have not heard a story quite like yours. Um But I first have to tell you that I did, I read your book. I don’t always read all the caregiving books. So love it. Time to think we’re going to talk about that. Um But I also been reading it was reconnecting, you know, with some of the eighties in the past and I don’t think I ever saw the movie Diner.

 

So my husband and I went back and we watched Diner and it was so fun to see with all the ensemble of cast in one place and, you know, even curious how your fiance um bride least like they never showed her face, which was interesting, I thought, yeah. Isn’t that a great device in uh in, in cinema when you talk about somebody and you don’t show them? And that’s exactly the reason because we wanted you to think, you know, what, what more is there in, in uh in movies or, or novels or painting is that you want to educate and you wanna entertain and you want people to think and use their imaginations.

 

Well, it did, it worked, it worked great. Well, it on that thing. I always start the podcast with like a little words of wisdom from the happy, healthy caregiver jar. This is something that I started years ago when we transferred care from my parents to my sister, from my mom. And so just motivational things that speak to you. And I feel like this one is probably gonna resonate, it says compliment someone today, the smile they give will come back to you. So true. The Boomerang theory. Yeah.

 

You know, it’s, it’s so important to be a great guest at a dinner party. You know, you’re invited some, someplace you need to speak, you need to contribute, you need to give, you need to be a great guest. And we are guests on this planet. We are guests in society. We are guests in caregiving. So you need to participate, you need to give, you need to say good morning to a stranger walking down the block, you need to smile, you know, and those things do come back to you because the world is a, is a wonderful place and it’s got gravity and it goes like that and that’s the way the world works.

 

The world revolves around the sun, the ra the world revolves, the wind revolves, everything revolves and it always comes back to you. I feel like it was, I’ve been following you on Instagram and I love your like walk and talk um lessons and things. So if people are liking what you hear, I recommend that they follow you on Instagram for more of that. Well, I’ve liked you Steven in some of my favorite movies and show. But I gotta say when I found out you were a caregiver for your dad Stanley, like it elevated you to a whole new level for me.

 

Like caregivers are my people and I just, you know, appreciated how you have so much going on in your life. And we all do frankly. But, you know, we, yours is out there for everybody to see why was it important for you to take a hands on role in your dad’s care? It would actually, the word isn’t important but it does, it, it is very apt, it is important. It was a no brainer. You know, when someone screams down the hall, you get up and run there.

 

That’s just how it is. So when my dad, when I was a little boy would yell my name in the base from the basement and I’d be upstairs, I’d run down. What do you need? Dad? So my dad looked at me and looked at my family, my sister, my mother, everyone and said, hey, I need you. There was nothing to think about. You run down to the basement and say, what do you need dad? It’s just a knee jerk reaction. I’m sure you’re the same way in your house.

 

If your husband yells your name, you go, what do you need or you run up and go, what do you need? That’s just it. Sometimes not as sweetly but yes. Yeah, sometimes not as, not as sweetly. But you, you did a great commitment though and I appreciated the remote dis long distance care giving that you did, you know, showing up for your dad and your mom and your sister and your and your family and kind of putting, you know, the brakes on some of the things that were going on in your life in all of my years of doing this.

 

I have not heard of anybody that has gone through the steps to become like a med tech, a dialysis tech for, for someone that they cared about. Can, can anybody do this? Anybody can do it. But you get, have to get the opportunity and you have to find a sweet spot where there’s room for you. My sister, Susan is very, very bright and she heard whispers that not only can somebody do their own dialysis at night, peritoneal dialysis, you can do hemodialysis at home for a patient if you go to school and learn to become a med tech.

 

And that’s what my sister and I did and my sister was really smart. She found a spot for us and we went in there and we trained for months and we actually trained on my dad. It’s sort of like learning how to fly a plane, uh, with, uh, with your mother and father in the back seat. And, um, and I talk about it in my book time to think that it was one of the scariest things in the world was looking at my dad and saying, hey dad, I’m gonna put this needle in your vein right now and everything’s gonna be ok.

 

And he’d say just do it. You don’t have to think about it, just do it. Yeah. Yeah, it does take a lot of guts. But the alternative was like, not a whole lot of fun for your family, like hours of waiting and driving and, and sitting there and, um, it’s, it’s a, I, I hadn’t realized I’ve not had that personal experience of what it really takes when someone says, oh, they go to dialysis. Like, what does that really mean? And, and you really lay that out in your book, but your book is not necessarily all about caregiving either.

 

I love how you use these, these distance drives which I can relate to coming from Georgia to Florida when I was caring for my folks. Uh, you get a lot of time to think and you get a lot of time to process and frankly, that was where the this business, you know, this blog, it started out as a blog, really started for me. Um And so it gave you a lot of time to reflect. There’s a lot of mixed blessings in caregiving. Yeah, absolutely. Um But the glass is much more half full than half empty.

 

And it’s, you have to be a very special person to be a caregiver. You have to be an angel. You have to be very patient. You’re sitting in a room with someone who’s not, well, for 1012 hours a day and that really, it gnaws on your skin and it’s tough and you need to put on a smiley face and you can’t show them that you’re sad. You can’t show them that you’re worried, you have to really be positive and it’s not easy. But, you know, anything in this world that’s, that’s worth it usually isn’t easy.

 

So you stay with it and I really appreciate that. But I, I got to tell you my sister and, and I talk about it in, in the book a ton is that my sister, Susan was the, the one who really made it happen. Well, you all had a team, a care team and not everything is, you know, we talk about, there’s a lot of time on this podcast, like not everything is always equal when you’re talking about the team and it’s, you’re trying to find the right strengths and we, you know, filling the gaps of the weaknesses to kind of make that complete picture so that caregiving can be sustainable because this was a, a multiyear process for the Gutenberg family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

 

It took, it was many years of caregiving and I would have gladly done another 1015, 20 100 more years to have my dad sitting here. Yeah. Well, that run through Steve in your book, like I boohooed quite a bit and, and some of that, the parts where you were really struggling to kind of let go. And I think, you know, and, and kind of mixing your Hollywood world and your Caregiving world together. Like, do we do a good job in kind of portraying what caregiving and, and death and dying look like on the Hollywood screen.

 

I don’t know. Yeah. I think it’s getting better. Like what it first rang. True to me is like, the, the, this is US episode. I don’t know if you watch that drama series. Um, but, but I really, you know, as a caregiver, those parts really shine out to me and I’ll be, like, watching something. I’ll be like, oh, he’s a caregiver. She’s a caregiver. Uh Because I think it’s important to kind of normalize. I don’t think that I don’t think anybody is really, really can understand death.

 

Yeah, I, I think we can say we understand it and grief. I don’t think, I think we can try, I think we can keep a unique experience to be there and to portray it on film. Yeah. You know, you portray what you think it is and, but it’s a, it’s sort of like getting married or it’s sort of like having a baby or it’s, hm, something so otherworldly you have to kind of experience it firsthand or be really, really in a front seat to kind of see it.

 

Um I have a, like a small question about your book. So when I was reading time to thank Steve, I noticed that there were points in the book where you wrote G hyphen D and I was really curious why you chose to do that or what, where that came from. I’m Jewish and you, you don’t, um, sort of spell out God. You, you have different, uh, words for him. Uh, Hamm. And Ada Noi. And when I spell out God, I think that he’s so holy for the word, a kindergarten word for it that I don’t spell out his own name. Interesting.

 

Yeah, it’s interesting. So, I’m an interfaith. We’re in an interfaith marriage. My husband is Jewish and I was raised Catholic. Um, and we, we talk a little bit sometimes about heaven and, like, you know, like, am I going to see you again? Like, what, what are your thoughts on, like, are you gonna see your dad again? Yeah, definitely. It’s the first time that I am not afraid to die because I know I’m going to see him again. And, um, and that’s just such a great feeling. And, um, you know, and I’m, and, and there’s a great poem called Rainbow Bridge, which is a about, you should look at it if you have any pets or you’ve had pets because when you do pass, you’re going to, coming to a big field and you’re gonna see a bridge and across, you’re gonna see another big field and you’re gonna see all your old pets running toward you and they’re going to cross that bridge and you’re gonna meet in the middle of the bridge and they’re gonna be healthy and young and they’re gonna be kissing you and that’s the way it is when you see your departed loved ones.

 

They’re gonna be healthy and young and vital and you’re gonna kiss each other and hold each other and for all the maternity you’re gonna be together. I, I don’t, I always picture like Thanksgiving table like there’s this like huge never ending, like big family table and they’re like, oh, we’ve been waiting for you. Come on over it. Yeah, and have a seat. We’ve got a lot to catch up on. Um, and so that does give you a lot of peace. What is like, what is aging? Well, look like for you, Steve?

 

Like, how has this informed the way that you live your life? I don’t know if I’ve learned any lessons. To be quite honest. I feel like you have when you’re, when you’re talking about Instagram, just like the finding joy and the little things. Um because I felt like in caregiving, the joy was so bright because you’re living in like swamp, you know, and then it’s like all of a sudden it’s like, oh, this bright light, it’s really a really a cool thing. Um Yeah, perhaps I have learned lessons and I don’t look at them as lessons, I suppose.

 

I look at them as, as noticing the right way of life, noticing how to behave my dad. And I used to say this poem which is really a cool poem by Erik Larson. Um, promise yourself to be so strong that nothing could disturb your peace of mind, to talk, health, happiness and prosperity, to every person you meet, to make all your friends feel like there is something in them to see the sunny side of life and make your optimism come true to, to think your best to work your best to expect your best to be so concerned with your own self improvement that you have no time to criticize others to be too large for worry, too noble, for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble and to give every creature you meet a smile and we get like book ends.

 

We started with a smile and um and we’re kind of closing with a smile and you know, I know that we talked to you about self care on the show, Steve like you know that your dad really, you said in the book he gave you the gift of self care. What is self care look like for you now? Like how are you taking care of yourself? Wow. Thanks a lot. Yeah. And I do talk about it in our book time to think, to think we’re gonna link to it for sure.

 

Thank you. It’s about breathing. Wake up in the morning and give yourself a breath, give yourself a few breaths, touch your face, wake it up a little bit, massage your hair, wake up and bend over and touch your toes if you can go drink a glass. Of water, take a nice shower and wash your face. Smile. Say good morning to everybody in the house. Say good morning to everybody on the street. Dress yourself with nice clothes, put, put nice perfume on you or cologne. If you like that, get inside a nice clean car, go to a place you like whether it’s an exercise or work or school and appreciate and look around and love, love yourself.

 

If you see something on your, on you on you that needs caring, take care of it, clip your nails, cut your hair, you know, look after yourself. Um, make sure that your underwear doesn’t have holes in it. Yeah, that’s care. Love yourself. Love the people around you. Notice people say hi to strangers, reach out to somebody who’s in trouble and put them on your list to call them every day and see how they’re doing, feel for other people, feel for yourself. Try to make your world and everybody else’s world better take your vitamins, drink as much water as you can eat good food.

 

Enjoy some cake, enjoy some candy. If that’s what you like. Go on adventures. Smile and remember that you’re part of this community that we call, we call planet Earth. It’s a community and you know what, look around in 100 years, everything is going to be gone. So today with everything you have, I mean, what I like about all you’re saying is when I do my and the different things that I do. I try to act of self care. And there was nothing in what you said that was like this big grandiose thing.

 

These are little tiny things that people can infuse in their day and, and make it part of their life. And that I wrote a book called Just For You, the Daily Self Care Journal. And I’d love to kind of get get, yeah, it’s helping people try to that because caregivers struggle, like I wrote it with caregivers of mine. They struggle with trying to prioritize their own healthy health and happiness. And that’s what I’m trying to do is just being like, hey, it’s OK, like you need to, you know, you’re feeding a nest of hungry birds and you cannot go outside and keep feeding everybody else in your nest if you’re not putting some nourishment in your own body and whatever that looks like.

 

So let me ask you a couple of questions out of here. So you’ve made us laugh with a lot of your movies. Steve’s like, who can you count on or what can you count on to make you laugh? Oh boy, I can count on e every time I speak to anyone in my family. And uh everybody gives me a great laugh. Everybody in my family has a great um has a great sense of humor. And if I’m alone, I turn on Laurel and Hardy, I turn on the three Stooges.

 

I turn on Seinfeld. I turn on Andy Griffith. I turn on Hogan’s Heroes. I turn on um Abbot Elementary. Um I turn on, um, you know, 21 Jump Street, you know, with, with, with, uh uh, with, with, um, channing Channing Tatum. Um I turn on any comedy I can, but mostly it’s my family. Yeah, that’s good. That make you laugh. OK, one more. It’s, uh, what project are you looking forward to starting my next one? And I don’t know what the next one is, but I’m really excited about doing the next one.

 

Being my best being creative, being helpful, being part of the planet, being part of my, my, my theatrical community. And, and I’m, I’m looking forward to seeing this interview with you. You’re a, you’re a great interviewer. You, you have a, you have a very kind loving nature and, um, and this is something I’d like to see. I’m looking forward to the next moment. I love that. I thank you so much, Steve. Very like, it has been such an honor to have this one on one time for you and like also just to kind of put it out into the caregiver community.

 

Do you think you’ll do kind of some care advocacy type of work at all? Like, is there anything that you would like to see changed in this space? Yeah. Sure. Well, right now the government is providing monies to caregivers that have given up their careers to care, give. So that’s wonderful. But I’d love to be an advocate for caregivers and try to fill in any kind of the hole, any hole that I can to make a caregiver’s life easier. Amazing. Well, it’s like, I love when celebrities are vulnerable, like yourself and kind of share be, you know, behind the scenes of what’s going because people pay attention to some of the issues and concerns that caregivers have and we get more attention that way.

 

Like I know not every state will pay caregivers like I live in Georgia and it’s, it can, we can do better. California is doing a great job and there’s some other states that are doing a great job. So hopefully more, more with that. Well, how do people, obviously we’re going to link to the book again. It’s time to thank by Steve Gutenberg and you’ve got other books out there including a kids book that they can check out too. Um How do people stay in touch with you?

 

Please go to Instagram. You can find me Steve Gutenberg uh on my Instagram and uh and watch my stuff and DM me and send me messages and comments because I look at them all and I really appreciate it and uh you know, I want to engage with people. Amazing. Well, I just have to say goodnight sweetheart. It’s time to go. Thank you so much and, and everyone go to Amazon and buy our wonderful book, time to think.

 

Do you enjoy listening to podcasts? So do I, and I’m always up to support a fellow Care Prene whose podcasts I value Nicole will host of Navigating the world with your aging loved one explores the world of aging and care. As a former guest, I can tell you that Nicole’s podcast has an ideal mix of practical tools and resources and messages of hope and encouragement. You can find Nicole wherever you download your favorite podcast or go to her website will gather.com.

 

Thanks for joining us today on the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast on the whole care network. As always show notes that a company today’s episode can be found on my website Happy Healthy caregiver.com. Just look under the podcast menu for today’s episode image and that will take you to the page with the links and information we spoke about today.

 

You’ll also find other resources on the website along with links to purchase the Just for you daily self care journal. When you purchase from my website, you’ll get a signed copy and for a limited time free shipping. If you’ve enjoyed what you heard today, consider subscribing to the show on your podcast platform, it really helps other family caregivers find the podcast and you’ll automatically receive our biweekly shows in your podcast listening queue. Maybe while you’re subscribing, consider leaving a five star rating and review or just simply talk it up on your social channels. Let’s stay connected. I’m on Instagram and Facebook as happy healthy caregiver. And until we meet again, please take care of you.

 

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