Blogging Anonymously
When I first started my blog in the spring of 2015, I was afraid to announce that I was the author. I primarily wanted to stay behind the curtain because I wanted to feel complete freedom of speech which meant writing without offending anyone. I really dislike confrontation.
I lasted about a month before coming out. This secret was kept longer than I lasted when I lived in sin with my husband of now 19 years, Jason. When I got my first job at Turner Broadcasting and moved into a one-bedroom apartment in Vinings, I told my parents I was living solo. I explained that Jason was giving me most of his furniture from his apartment because he was going to move in with his aunt to save money. Jason and I moved in together and my soul turned blacker and blacker that week. I made it to the next weekend and came clean with my parents at their house. My dad told me the ultimate thing that always got to me: ‘I’m so disappointed in you, Elizabeth’. My mom said something like ‘Why would he (meaning Jason) buy the cow when he could get the milk for free?’ Really mom? It didn’t change our situation, we knew we were committed for life but we felt we were too young to get married. We didn’t want to waste an extra rent when we could be banking that income for future plans. We had an understood agreement that we would live together no more than a year before something more serious like an engagement would happen. By the way, it took Jason just about a year to take the next step, and then we had a year-long engagement.
So a month about my secret blog was pretty good – maybe my age is making the soul darkening process slower.
Looking for Help
I always research quandaries that I find myself in. I like to roll up my sleeves and find out everything I can about a problem. I always figure someone somewhere has been through this. How did they do it? How long did it take them? What advice do they have? Is there a checklist of steps I need to take?
When I googled The Sandwich Generation last year when life really became overwhelming for me, most of the articles and posts I found were repetitive like how to financially prepare so you aren’t strained by taking care of your parents or just basic statistics about Sandwich Generationers. I needed way more than this.
About 45 years ago, my mom was in a similar situation. She was driven to start writing The Waddodles of Hollow Lake children’s series because she had lost her first husband to leukemia and had four children under 10 to raise alone. She searched for books to explain death and dying to her young children and found none. She decided to write her own.
Like my mother, I know the Pew Research Center has stated in their 2013 Sandwich Generation Report that 47% of adults in their 40s and 50s have an aging parent that requires assistance and also have a child that needs physical or financial support. So if so many are going through this – don’t we need the advice, systems, and tools to understand how to best live our lives?
It’s no secret that 2014 goes down in the books as a rough year for me and my family. I thought I was losing my mom, ended up losing my dad, moved my mom out of state into an assisted living community, and we also said goodbye to Jason’s mom who had lung cancer. I missed lots of work and I missed lots of life. In the process, I was able to stay somewhat focused on my own health. I had hired a caring wellness team in the spring just before my mom got sick and they reminded me of my goals and gave me the support I needed and still need. Timely divine intervention no doubt.
Transparency
The main reason why I opted to no longer blog anonymously is that I have learned, particularly in the last dozen years that the more I share, the more I grow and learn. I call this being transparent. I’ve taken a few hard hits as a wife and a mother and have struggled with showing emotion and just sharing. Each time I share my stories, I help someone and help myself. Now, there are many I know who are wondering where my sharing limit is?
Living an authentic life is important to me. Everyone has ‘stuff’ that they deal with. My hope is that if there are folks out there, particularly moms, who are struggling with too much, that they can turn to this blog for support, humor, encouragement, or just to know they are not the only ones feeling the squeeze.
Please use the comment section below to suggest future topics for which you want to see a post. What are the things I may be able to help you with? What problem are you struggling with right now? Click here to let me know.
