I believe many Caregiving conflicts we have with others stem from unspoken expectations. A lack of understanding of personal boundaries.
Think about your last Caregiving related conflict you had with someone. Was this the case? Was something this person expected you to do or say? Or, were you expecting them to do or say something?
Do ever feel like the universe is sending you signs? One particular book kept popping up in a variety of conversations. The book is called “Boundaries”. At one point, the universe (or my co-worker) put the book in my hand and said ‘you really need to read this.’ I didn’t know he gave it to me until after I read it which was probably a good thing since I read it straight away like I was borrowing it. He insisted afterward that I keep the book or pay it forward.
So I read “Boundaries” because of all the mentions and because I can always improve my relationships with others.
I took some notes while reading this book so I could share the key points in this post. (more…)
I didn’t coin the phrase ‘courageous conversation’, I first heard this term from my sister who used it in the context of meetings she has with her employees where she has to often coach them on how they can improve.
When she shared that term with me, I immediately thought of those uncomfortable but necessary conversations I have had to have with my parents.
After my dad retired, my parents made Florida their primary residence and Michigan their summer residence. They lived independently for many years and outsourced the tasks and jobs that they really no longer wanted to do and could afford someone else to do such as housekeeping and yard maintenance.
Gradually over the years, independent living became a struggle and the amount of everyday living tasks that were being outsourced expanded. Individuals were hired to grocery shop, prepare meals and snacks, and run errands. Then, as my mom became less mobile, personal assistance was needed organizing medications, massaging and wrapping her legs, showering, driving and accompanying her to various doctor appointments.
While they lived on the ocean in their dream home, they were mostly confined to the condo. Independent living for them was like wading in the ocean. When their health was status quo and their help was coming consistently, life was doable. But, as soon as a big unexpected wave crashed in, it would topple them over and have a ripple effect on our entire family. (more…)