a guest post written by Presley Kappana While everyone’s caregiving journey is different, many people become caregivers later in life; but my journey started sooner than expected. Growing up in rural Wisconsin, my grandmother was not only my guardian but my best friend. We did everything together from snowshoeing to banana bread baking, and I […]
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‘We’re out of tricks.’ This is the phrase I used when talking to my two out-of-town sisters about the need to find a better living situation for mom…again. Mom has been in two different assisted living communities in the past year and half since my dad has passed. Neither place has been a fit and
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Profound, right? I thought so. This simple statement slapped me upside the head when I heard this from Dawn, the owner and creator of a nonprofit organization called ALOHA (A Life Of Healthy Aging). Dawn’s organization visits my mom’s new assisted living community monthly to offer support to resident’s families.
Dawn followed this statement with a question: ‘who is your mom?’ and challenged me to find out. I definitely know who I want her to be – I want her to be me! But, even though she has been my mom for 44 years, I still have some detective work to do in order to answer this question.
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I’m tough on myself and I hate to let others down. Guilt is a common emotion for me – truly probably a daily occurrence. You see, it’s impossible to make everyone happy in a world with so many competing priorities. Just like an overstuffed sandwich, some wonderful initially desired ingredient is going to slip out and get left behind on the plate or the wrapper. We can just fit only so much into our mouths or into our day.
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First, let me start by saying that there is no perfect assisted living. Afterall, I don’t know of one person who has chosen to live their twilight years in an assisted living. The phrase assisted living simply means you have lost partial control of your daily activities.
When we started looking for an assisted living last summer, my dad was in the hospital and we were focused on a place for a couple. Frankly, we didn’t know the timing or the details, but we were confident that my dad was no longer going to be able to help care for my mom and my brother and that they needed to be closer to family.
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The reality is that I had several talks with my parents encouraging them to simplify their lives by downsizing and finding a place where life could be easier for them.
Sadly, I feel that I have been grieving my parents for over a decade. They had been slowly killing themselves with complications from morbid obesity and diabetes. It’s been devastating to watch and frustrating to witness the pain their addictions with food and sedentary lifestyles have caused themselves and their families.
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Earlier today, I thought I’d write a Throwback Thursday post and tell a great past story. But, then my day felt more like ‘Throw up Thursday’. I already knew this….but today confirmed that I’m a creature of habit and I thrive in structure, I can get by on a day with little structure, but I really don’t like a whole day of unexpected crazy.
I’ve been told this several times, especially in recent years. I have never doubted that I have a story or stories to tell and I recognize the power in the written word. It’s powerful for me personally in that I feel lighter after expressing myself with words and it can be powerful for others who
You should write a book…or a blog Read More »