No, this isn’t a typo. I don’t mean indispensable. I truly mean dispensable and here’s why.
If you are indispensable then you are a roadblock in your own life. Everyone is counting on you to help them, they essentially can’t survive without you, or at least think they can’t. No one else can do it the way you do, right?
I’m like you…often feeling squeezed among layers of responsibilities and usually pressed for time. I have felt like I can’t focus attention on any one thing well since I’m just doing a quick once over on many competing items. Life can look like a nest of hungry baby robins depending on mama to be fed. You want to help everyone but you are just one person and there are only so many worms. (more…)
When I first started my blog in the spring of 2015, I was afraid to announce that I was the author. I primarily wanted to stay behind the curtain because I wanted to feel complete freedom of speech which meant writing without offending anyone. I really dislike confrontation.
I lasted about a month before coming out. This secret was kept longer than I lasted when I lived in sin with my husband for now 19 years, Jason. When I got my first job at Turner Broadcasting and moved into a one bedroom apartment in Vinings, I told my parents I was living solo. I explained that Jason was giving me most of his furniture from his apartment because he was going to move in with his aunt to save money. Jason and I moved in together and my soul turned blacker and blacker that week. I made it to the next weekend and came clean with my parents at their house. My dad told me the ultimate thing that always got to me: ‘I’m so disappointed in you, Elizabeth’. My mom said something like ‘Why would he (meaning Jason) buy the cow when he could get the milk for free?’ Really mom? It didn’t change our situation, we knew we were committed for life but we felt we were too young to get married. We didn’t want to waste an extra rent when we could be banking that income for future plans. We had an understood agreement that we would live together no more than a year before something more serious like an engagement would happen. By the way, it took Jason just about a year to take the next step and then we had a yearlong engagement. (more…)
Staying sane in this busy life and working to enjoy the journey is something I couldn’t do without the help of my husband, Jason. Like many of you, we often divide and conquer with the kid’s activities, homework, appointments, household responsibilities, etc. Some weeks I’m crazed and he picks up the slack and vice versa. We strive for a family rhythm but stuff happens from week to week and we have to adjust.
My husband and I are approaching our 19th wedding anniversary. As I see all the prom pictures on Facebook, I let people know that I married my prom date. This can happen! At the time, I was definitely ‘in love’ but I don’t know that I was thinking about marriage. I was more concerned with if our relationship will handle the distance of me going to Penn State while he was back in Georgia as a senior in high school.
One of the best relationship books I have ever read and added to the ‘my-5-stars’ bookshelf on Goodreads is The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman. I called this book a game changer, particularly if both you and your spouse read it. It’s not a huge book – 208 pages or you can listen to it on Audible like I did. You can thank me later. (more…)
You see those helicopter parents hovering over their kids everywhere basically never letting their kids experience failure and helping them each step of the way. I know these moms and dads think are doing a good thing but frankly I feel like it is a disservice to their child. God forbid, what if one of these helicopter parents has a crash crisis landing? What will happen to these children that have no clue how to fend for themselves? I was grateful that I had already instilled in my kids some responsibility when I returned to work outside the home five years ago because once my husband and I began to provide care for our aging parents and were stretched out even thinner, our kids were in a prime position to pick up even more of the areas that began to slack.
I usually tell my kids that my job as their parent basically boils down to two main things:
1) Keep them safe.
2) Help them become people that others enjoy being around. (more…)
I’m tough on myself and I hate to let others down. Guilt is a common emotion for me – truly probably a daily occurrence. You see, it’s impossible to make everyone happy in a world with so many competing priorities. Just like an overstuffed sandwich, some wonderful initially desired ingredient is going to slip out and get left behind on the plate or the wrapper. We can just fit only so much into our mouths or into our day.
For me, guilt flashes into my head, slithers down the back of my throat and wedges itself in my chest where it pressure cooks for a few minutes. Sometimes it gets the best of me and I steam out a few tears but lately I’m practicing a lot of self-talk and can get that pesky guilt emotion to dwindle and sometimes even completely dissipate. Deep down I do know that I’m doing enough – more than enough…probably too much! (more…)